Gender Does Not Define Their Identity Essay

A PERSONS GENDER DOES NOT DEFINE THEIR IDENTITY:

When a person is seen they are first identified by their gender. We are born either male or female. Gender is given not chosen. It is supposedly meant to define our identity. In the World today, humans have decided and found ways to change their gender because they felt they did not connect with the one they were given. In the novel Some Assembly Required by Arin Andrews, Arin decides to become a transgender because he felt he would connect better with a different gender. His hatred for female fashion which led to his undeniable love for males’ fashion, his dislike for female puberty changes that made him like male puberty changes, and his non confronting of his given sexuality, shows that Arin’s gender does not in any way define his identity.

Arin born Emerald always felt like he didn’t belong, he felt he was different from every other girl. At a very young age Arin began hating things that identified him with his gender, he hated wearing dresses and applying makeup. “Mom would drag me through the girls’ department loading her arms up with dresses, while I’d stare longingly across the aisle of boys’ stuff” (Andrews 27). This shows that Arin’s gender and his identity were different. His love for boys’ stuff as a girl

shows that his gender did not define his identity. Arin also hated makeup, which is like every girls’ number one love. On his birthday in fourth grade his mum dumped a huge pile of makeup on the dining room table and said “have at it.” Everyone squealed and drove their little hands into a sea of pink and red lipstick while he and Andi took one look at each other and marched outside to play secret agents (Andrews 32). Arin’s decision to play a game instead of playing with makeup is one that is expected from a male gender as they are expected to love games more than makeup. Arin made a decision that did not match his gender and so in this situation, his identity cannot be determined by his gender. One weekend during the fourth grade, Arin spent the night at a cousin’s house from his dad’s side of the family a guy named Tye who is the same age as he is. Arin had an annual mile run for gym class the next day and had forgotten to bring any running clothes so Tye let him borrow some of his – a black, skin tight tank top and black shorts. As soon as Arin slipped them on he immediately felt a rush of power, like he had put on a superhero suit. (Andrews 28). This shows that Arin preferred and felt more comfortable in male clothing and since he was a girl he was expected to prefer female clothing. His dress sense did not correspond with his gender and so the way he was identified when dressed in male clothing did not match his gender.
Despite the fact that Arin was a girl, he hated puberty and female sexual organs he wanted a penis. “When I’d put on a pair of shorts or jeans, they’d fold inward between my legs and I knew that they weren’t supposed to look like that” (Andrews 29) Arin began feeling that he was meant to be someone else and that his true identity was not being defined by his gender.
Sometime in fifth grade Arin’s mother told him that one day he will grow breasts and that blood was going to come out of his vagina; he was so horrified. “The girls at school all started to develop around the same time as well. Unlike me, they were psyched about it (Andrews 41). Arin was never excited about having breast he hated them so much that every night he would hold his hands over them lying on his stomach, trying to keep them flattened (Andrews 40) “I realize that if I hunched over, I could make them disappear” (Andrews 41). Here Arin refers to his breast he wants to hide them because he doesn’t like them. Girls usually want big breast so that it shows, but Arin wanted his own to be so flat so that they could barely be seen. His hatred for his breast and the uncomfortable way he felt with them shows that his gender was not at all defined by his identity. Consequently, as Arin’s hatred for his female puberty changes grew so did his love for male puberty changes. He hated his female voice so much that when he spoke he tried to make it sound deeper. Whenever he met someone he would say “Hi, I am Emerald” in the deepest growl, he could muster because the voice he heard inside his head was not the one that came out of his mouth
. Emerald was Arin’s name when he was a girl, he would introduce himself in a deep voice because then he didn’t like his voice. He felt it was not what he wanted. He preferred a more masculine voice which didn’t really go with his gender because his gender did not define his identity. “One day when I was in my room playing with blue Play-DOH, I rolled some between my hands to make a snake, but it took another shape, I stuck a round ball on the tip and walked up to the mirror, holding it between my legs. That’s more like it, I thought” (Andrews 30) Arin knew that he didn’t want a vagina, but a penis, he knew he was unhappy with what he had between his legs that he began to imagine what it would feel like if he had a penis. He would act like he had one and would pee standing up (Andrews 30). For Arin to pretend that he had a penis and pee standing up he give himself an identity that did not correspond with his gender.
Although Arin was born a girl, he didn’t really accept that he was one. He did things that contrasted with his female gender such as wearing boys’ clothes and wearing a binder to prevent his breast from showing in clothes. “wearing a bra hidden under my shirt, pressed right against my skin, felt like betrayal to myself, like admitting defeat. And I was not ready to do that” (Andrews 41). This shows Arin’s dislike for his gender and his inability to accept it, led to his change of gender because he felt his identity did not match his gender. When Arin’s parents got separated and his dad had to leave the house, the only thought that ran through his mind was that he got to be the man of the house (Andrews 57). His wanting to become the new man of the house when he was a girl and had a junior brother shows that he didn’t consider himself a woman but rather a man. This was an act of him not confronting to his female gender as he refused to be the girl and let his brother be the man of the house since he was a boy. Arin could not confront his sexuality because he didn’t believe that his true identity was being defined by it. One day when he was in papa and Gigi’s house, he browsed through the computer and found out that he was a transgender (Andrews 87). He realized that he could actually make his gender define his identity by becoming a boy and he didn’t mind changing because his female gender did not define his identity. A few years after discovering that he was a transgender, Arin began transitioning. To him this was the solution to his long lasting problem and had anyone ever told him that his gender could define his identity, he would not have believed because of the challenges he faced when his gender did not define his identity.
Based on Arin’s hatred for female fashion which led to his undeniable love for males’ fashion, his dislike for female puberty changes that made him like male puberty changes, and his non confronting of his given sexuality, it can be said that he did not connect with his given gender.

But through the use of testosterones and surgery, Arin was able to walk away from his nightmare of being a girl. “I was finally looking at my self- the person I always saw when I closed my eye” (Andrews 209) Arin was finally able to confront his sexuality because he now had the one he had always dreamt of. Arin’s strong desire to change his gender was built up by the inability of his given gender to define his

identity.