Forging A Delicate Balance Summary

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The main theme in Forging a Delicate Balance: Romance and Relationships Between Black Women and Men is the detriments of shifting and consequences of not shifting in relationships and dating between Black women and Black men. Shifting can be a state in which a Black women alters herself into a state of hyperperformance. This can include, but is not limited to, being the major emotional provider to her man, and ultimately shifting all aspects of their needs to accommodate him. (208) Shifting can also be a state in which a Black women shifts to lessening her wants and desires and becoming more submissive because it makes her man feel like a “man”. Shifting comes at a cost both mentally and physically. The women in the readings report not being able to completely and freely express themselves for fear of intimidating their man, having to suppress acts of independence and strength in hopes to “keep a …show more content…

This does not benefit the relationship in anyway because the women that live like this are often depressed ultimately end up in therapy. White societal norms call for their women to be submissive and dependant. What has unfortunately leaked over into the Black man's head is that Black women should be this way, even to the extent of looking more like white women. (In the article this is called the lily complex in which the more white the features of a women, the better (221). ) The problem is, these traits are not a part of most Black womens persona and they are being seeked out less in the dating scene because of it. What can a Black women do to make sure her needs are being fulfilled in a relationship just as much as her man's? And How can Black women make sure they do not fall into shifting in the

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