Family In Persuasion

In Persuasion by Jane Austen, Austen comments on the dynamics of friends and family. During Austen’s time, one’s family was their most influential connection. A person’s family determined their class, and therefore, supposedly, their happiness and ability to succeed. Someone in a high ranking family was considered fortunate solely because they were part of the elite group of society. Austen however, sees folly in this way of thinking and creates a character named Anne. Anne has almost every advantage in society. Her father is a baron and owns a beautiful estate. Society saw Anne as in the perfect spot to reach an ultimate, coveted societal position. She was expected to marry well and only associate with those who would be deemed good connections.

However, Anne was mistreated by her family and their acquaintances. Austen saw the absurdity in the expectation for Anne to associate with these people and made a bold claim: people should create their own family out of people who they love and are loved by, not out of those who only offer social benefits. She makes this claim by having Anne form a new family out of her friends who truly love her, challenging how society viewed family and friends.
In Anne’s new family Lady Russell is her mother figure, and although Lady Russell is in a high class, Anne chooses her because she loves her, not because of Lady Russell’s social rank. Anne and Lady Russell’s mutual affection drives their friendship. Lady Russell sees Anne as a “most dear and highly valued god-daughter, favourite, and friend…it was only in Anne that she could fancy the mother to revive again” (11). Anne’s reasons for having Lady Russell as part of her family goes deeper than what society believed was necessary. Sir Walter, and society at large, saw Lady Russell as a good connection, and nothing more. Lady Russell’s good intentions and love for Anne and her family were only recognized by Anne. Her family saw the relationship as purely economic. Even with Lady Russell’s faults, Anne “[thought] with heightened gratitude of the extraordinary blessing of having one such truly sympathising friend as Lady Russell” (39). Anne chooses Lady Russell as her mother figure because of Lady Russell’s affection and constant friendship.
Anne’s refusal to prioritize her cousins the Dalyrmples, over her other relationships shows her disregard for class, and that her concern is making her family be people who love her. The Dalyrmples are the wealthy cousins of the Elliots. However, wealth and nobility are the only thing Dowager Viscountess Dalrymple and her daughter Miss Carteret have. They have “no superiority of manner, accomplishment, or understanding. Lady Dalrymple had acquired the name of a ‘charming woman,’ because she had a smile and a civil answer for every body. Miss Cateret [her daughter] with still less to say, was so plain and so awkward…” (122). Despite the Dalyrmples inability to be good company or truly love their cousins, Sir Walter and Elizabeth hold them in high esteem. Their high rank outweighs any character flaws in Sir Walter’s mind. Anne however, refuses to become infatuated with the Dalyrmples, and makes every excuse to not have to see them. Lady Russell tries to express to Anne that, “family connexions were always worth preserving…” But to Anne, the connections worth preserving are the family she makes out of her friends. Anne’s priorities are to spend time with people who have a good heart, rather than just a good social standing
While the Dalyrmples would have been seen as good connections to have, Anne spends her time deepening her friendship with Mrs.

Smith, who was not considered a profitable connection, because of Mrs. Smith sweet manner and good companionship. Mrs. Smith was Anne’s old school teacher. She was once “fine looking, well grown...in all the glow of health and confidence of superiority” (124). However Mrs. Smith is now widowed, poor, and crippled. Anne’s association with Mrs. Smith is detestable to Sir Walter. He can see no advantage in the connection. He says to Anne, “A widow Mrs. Smith…and what is her attraction? That she is old and sickly. ‒ Upon my word Anne Elliot you have the most extraordinary taste! Everything that revolts other people, low company, paltry rooms, foul air, disgusting associations are inviting to you” (128). Sir Walter’s disdain for Anne and Mrs. Smith friendship highlights how much Anne focuses on people’s character rather than their situations in life. Anne chooses Mrs. Smith to be a part of her family because she has “good sense and agreeable manners which [Anne] had almost ventured to depend on, and a disposition to converse and be cheerful beyond her expectations. Neither the dissipations of the past…nor the restrictions of the present; neither sickness nor sorrow seemed to have closed her heart or ruined her spirits” (125). Anne chooses to visit Mrs. Smith over the noble Dalrymples, despite Mrs. Smith’s inability to give Anne any advantage in the social

realm.
Captain Wentworth is the most important person Anne chooses to make part of her family, and her decision shows how she is concerned with her own happiness not social advantages. Anne had two main options for a husband in the novel: Mr. Elliot and Captain Wentworth, who both propose to her. Mr. Elliot is Anne’s cousin, and Anne’s home is entailed to him. If Anne chose Mr. Elliot to be part of her family, she would have many advantages. Along with gaining wealth, Anne could keep her last name and become the mistress of her household. Despite Mr. Elliot’s somewhat genuine affection for Anne, Anne does not love him. Anne knows she would be unhappy being married to him despite the other advantages his proposal offered. Captain Wentworth also proposes to Anne. While a marriage to Wentworth would not be disadvantageous, as he is wealthy, it would not be the more beneficial of the two offers. Mr. Elliot is higher up in society than Wentworth, and he stands to inherit Anne’s home. While Mr. Elliot would be the obvious choice to include in Anne’s family, Wentworth has something Mr. Elliot does not. Wentworth loves Anne. Anne and Wentworth’s mutual love, is enough to persuade Anne to choose Wentworth to include in her family, instead of Mr. Elliot. While her choice was not necessarily bad, it would not have been considered the best decision between the two men. Lady Russell was one who recognized this was not the most beneficial decision Anne could make. She “must be suffering some pain in understanding and relinquishing Mr. Elliot, and be making some struggles to become acquainted with, and do justice to Captain Wentworth” (200). Anne does not care that her marriage may not have been the most advantageous choice. She is happy to choose Wentworth as her husband. His genuine, deep love for her makes him worthy of being accepted into Anne’s family.
Today, like in the Regency Era, people strive to make connections that offer social advantages, but Anne shows having a family of people who are loving and kind is more important than having good connections. Anne chooses to have deep, meaningful relationships, rather than superficial ones, even though her friendships may not be able to offer her any external benefit. Anne makes these friends part of her family, even though her immediate family offered her a higher place in society. This message transcends time and speaks to people today. People still make their family out of those who can offer the most to them. Austen writes Persuasion to illustrate the importance of making a family who is loving and encouraging. True happiness will not come from surrounding oneself with people who do not really love them. The only way Anne achieved happiness, and the only way anyone can achieve happiness, is to surround oneself with people who really love and appreciate them.