Ethical Conundrum Essay
I selected the article, “Can I Tell a Dying Friend’s Secret to His Children?” I selected this article from the New York Times Ethicist Column. The ethical conundrum in question in this article is from the perspective of the dying man’s friend. In a sense he is asking is he obligated to keep his friend’s secret or can he reveal it now or upon his death. His friend’s secret is a rather big one that can have many potential consequences - He has a child approximately 30 years old that he has nothing to do with since birth, and has kept this secret from his wife and other children. The friend has a terminal cancer that has metastasized and it is estimated that he has less than a year to live at best. This man had previously asked his
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Therefore, his friend told him a secret in confidence, he has a moral duty to keep this secret as long as the friend is alive, and with that being said he should not tell his friend’s secret as long as he is living. So in agreeance with the ethicist, I believe as long as the friend is alive he must keep the secret according to Kant’s Theory.
However, Mr. Appiah does point out the fact that the decision does not carry the same consequences if he waits to divulge this secret until his friend has passed away (Appiah, 2016). When the friend passes away, the inquirer of this ethical conundrum is no longer bound by to keep his friends secret because it is not going to hurt him in death. I agree with Immanuel Kant’s nonconsequential theory being applied here that it can be universalized that once someone has passed away, the no longer possess the same rights as while they were living.
With that being said I think that the man should inform the family of the sibling after the man has passed away and there has been a certain amount of time for his wife and children to grieve. I base the decision to tell the family on the basis of the consequentialist theory of act-utilitarianism.
The funeral was supposed to be a family affair. She had not wanted to invite so many people, most of them strangers to her, to be there at the moment she said goodbye. Yet, she was not the only person who had a right to his last moments above the earth, it seemed. Everyone, from the family who knew nothing of the anguish he had suffered in his last years, to the colleagues who saw him every day but hadn’t actually seen him, to the long-lost friends and passing acquaintances who were surprised to find that he was married, let alone dead, wanted to have a last chance to gaze upon him in his open coffin and say goodbye.
In the essay “How to Be Dead and Not Care”, Thomas Nagel replies to Rosenbaum and Epicurus by bring up an example of being betrayed by a friend. For example: let’s say your best friend sleeps with your husband and you die not knowing that they did that behind your back when you were living. Thomas Nagel would say it harms you even if you never found out. However, Epicurus, Rosenbaum and I believe it doesn’t harm you, because you never experience the
I had mixed feelings one time when my friend, Gracie’s, twin sister was depressed. Her name is Meghan and she is 15 years old. She was depressed because her mom, Cathy, and her step dad had just split up. Meghan and her step dad were really close, so their breakup was not that easy for her. She had attempted suicide a few times for this reason. I should have said something that could have prevented her from trying to attempt suicide again. I learned that a friend is worth more than a secret.
An issue which is mentioned throughout the story is the concept of “Ignorance is bliss”, which is an old cliche meaning what we don’t know can’t hurt us. While massaging his naked female neighbor’s body, the narrator is asked if he’s going to tell his mother. No, he answers. “So you even know that certain things are better left unsaid! You really are a devil” (Mahfouz, 13). The neighbor makes the obvious point that sometimes there are things that don’t have to be repeated, for the benefit of all the parties involved. Some might argue that the Truth will always come out, and by hiding it someone will end up being affected by it much more later on. But that is only if the information does get repeated. Knowledge doesn’t always have to be repeated, as was shown by our narrator and his neighbor. If the narrator had told his mother, would any of the parties benefit from this knowledge?
when he hid the truth about the green sash. "If the gift meant remaining alive, it might well be
of pressure over the course of his lifetime. It would be difficult for anyone to keep such secrets
will be difficult to act innocent and to deal with his guilt. When he later
Letter while discovering that a hidden lie left to fester causes more grief and pain than he
There is an obligation in this “other community” to accompany the dying one, without this accompaniment Lingis’s other community would not exist. It is this consciousness of death that incites ones obligation to accompany the dying one. This consciousness of the death of the other guarantees my own life as well as death and links my communicative action to the situation. We know what to do, “accompany” before we know what to say, the “saying”. And this “saying” may not be as important in the end as one might think.
Even though she knew what she did was wrong by having an affair, she believed it would be better if she lied to my friend to keep from hurting his feelings. In Bridges Not Walls, this is referred to as benevolence, and by some researchers this is considered a positive motive for lying to someone. Although that sounds thoughtful, it is better to just be truthful in a relationship because the long lasting effects after deception can often lead to termination of the relationship. My friend began to realize he had been deceived, and he told me he was ready to expose her deception and betrayal, and move on from the relationship. I supported him fully, but moving on from a five year relationship is harder than just saying the words. After he confronted her about this, she realized she had messed up, and tried her best to apologize to him. This is also a common theme from the deceiver when they have been
...vident truth that Lois knows is that her best friend is dead and she will continue to wait for her until she dies because at this point Atwood shows that Louis has forgotten how to be a mother and wife to her children and husband.
as 'man of the house' he has to hide them and get on with his life.
Imagine your deepest, darkest secret eating you up inside. You have two choices: fess up and rat out your only friends, or keep everything inside, and suffer mentally and emotionally. This situation actually occurs in the book Red Kayak. Narrating the story himself, Brady Parks, the main character, recalls how he'd been waiting for a ride to school one cold morning in April, accompanied by his two best friends, J.T. and Digger. The three boys saw a red kayak heading out onto the river (thinking it was Mr. DiAngelo, but was instead Mrs. DiAngelo and Ben, their three-year-old son) and, despite the bad weather, neglected to call out any kind of warning. This was because they wanted revenge on Mr. DiAngelo for buying Digger’s grandfather’s property,
People are terrible at keeping secrets no matter what anyone may say. Some keep secrets but face all sorts of guilt, fear, and
and it can cost him dearly for example he may lose his job due to a