Online dating is becoming increasingly popular and millions of people around the world participate in some form of online dating. Advancements in technology have made dating as easy as swiping left or right on a user’s dating profile or sending an instant message to a stranger and setting up a date seconds later (Gardner, 2012). Even though online dating seems like an innovative and revolutionary way to meet a potential romantic partner, there is a downside to online dating. As online dating becomes more common, the obvious problem of poor communication because of online dating becomes worse and worse. The alteration of the romantic acquaintance process, the ease of exaggerating or providing completely false information, and the warped mentality …show more content…
Before online dating existed, dating consisted of meeting a future partner through friends, family, work, or just a random run-in. Because of this face-to-face contact and conversation, it was easy to recognize attractive traits such as rapport, sense of humor, politeness or rudeness, and basic overall personality (Finkel, Eastwick, Karney, Reis, & Sprecher, 2012). Now that online dating is taking over these traits are almost always overlooked and almost every form of communication available on online dating sites is geared toward short, non-intimate communication. Some actions that are considered rude in real life such as the blatant ignoring of a person are acceptable. Women tend to base their interest in men off of income and men tend to base their interest in women off of physical appearance. While these may be important to some, analysis suggests that users of online dating sites tend to overemphasize these qualities they believe are important as opposed to what typically ends up being important in successful relationships. In fact, psychologists say the characteristics readily available on online dating sites tends to be largely irrelevant in strong and lasting relationships. Other, hard to evaluate without face-to-face contact, experiential personality traits prove to produce positive outcomes in an emerging or established relationship. By altering the romantic process of meeting people face-to-face and solely communicating with and meeting people through a dating website or even through email, text, or phone calls, it is impossible to evaluate whether or not a person could be a potential romantic partner ("From the doctor’s mouth: Why Online Dating is a Poor Way to Find
The average profile of an individual is the superior polished version of themselves. “ Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick thumbed quip peddler over the confident ice breaking alpha male. or maybe we are hiding behind a cloak of digital text and spell check to present ourselves while using these less intimate forms of communication to accelerate the courting process. so whats it really good for?” Often when first meeting someone we tend to be more reserved at first, we will read a text repeatedly 10 times to be sure thats the perfect response.
And the heart, even in this commercial age, finds a way”(222)—implying that, although not perfect, online romance can work. He evidences his statement by illustrating how online dating “slows things down” (221), “puts structure back into courtship” (221), and “is at once ruthlessly transactional and strangely tender” (221). For example, he describes how couples might “exchange email for weeks or months” (221) when using a dating site, effectively slowing the dating process and adding more structure to courtship. He displays the transactional and sensitive side of Internet dating when he points to Internet exchanges between couples that “encourage both extreme honesty (the strangers-on-a-train phenomenon) and extreme dishonesty, as people lie about their ages, their jobs, whether they have kids and, most often, whether they are married” (222).
Flirting is a technique used by people in order to attract a certain type of person. As IISuperwomanII (2015) describes, flirting has changed dramatically since the introduction of technology. “E-flirting” is a type of flirting IISuperwomanII says is the most common in the present because of all the applications the internet and social media can have. Physical beauty standards have also changed since the 1940’s. For example, modest clothing and natural beauty were the norms of fashion trends in the 1940’s whereas today fashion is notably less conservative. Women and girls will often wear revealing clothing in order to gain male’s attention and wear makeup that may be considered exotic by 1940’s standards. Researchers have also commented one the changing society. “But first impressions are important - and have become more so as societies become increasingly mobile and urbanised and as contacts with people become more fleeting.” (Berscheid, 1981; cited in Myers, 2013) This is when online dating plays a role. In the past, the thought of picking a life partner through something similar to a television screen would have been absurd. But now, online dating is quickly becoming a norm of dating.
People tend to lose their social skills and interactions because online dating makes it easier to communicate with others. At one point Witt compares meeting people on the app Tinder to meeting people in a bar. “Tinder, she says is just how you would go about things at a bar.” (278). Because people become custom to finding “at the moment” relations they tend to find online dating or pick up dates while drunk easier than going out and just meeting new people the traditional way. In contrast, Carbone and Cahn talks about how couples that link up and get married they usually strive for long lasting relationships unlike the app Tinder. “The app is about the world around you, the people in your immediate vicinity, and the desires of a particular moment” (280). While on Tinder users tend to look for dates for the night. Carbone and Cahn noticed that marriages are set up by roles and beneficial for a family. One example they gave that married couples do is called “gender barging”. These changes fundamentally alter the “gender bargain”, that is the terms on which men and women find it worthwhile to forge lasting relationships.” This quote gives the opposite explanation to how people that meet traditionally strive for longer lasting and family based relationships rather than “at the moment”
This article presents the deceptions of online dating through the users profiles through self-presentation, emotions and trustworthiness.
Think about how your grandparents met; was it at a job they both worked at? Then think how your parents met, through their friend group? Now, how do you plan to meet your soulmate? Over the past ten years, dating has done a complete 360-degree turn. A study done on Americans by the Pew Research Center found, “66% of online daters have gone on a date with someone they met through a dating site or app, and 23% of online daters say they have met a spouse or long term relationship through these sites (Smith and Duggan).” From a boy asking a girl’s parents permission to date their daughter, to today when people resort to dating apps and websites like, Okcupid or Tinder.
The continued advancement of information and communication technologies has virtualized interpersonal communication process in various ways. Initial definitions of Interpersonal Communication indicated that the interaction/s needs to be face-to-face, but now with technological innovations the concept is getting disputed. In terms of dating (within my age group), prevalent usage of dating websites, and phone apps such as Tinder, OkCupid, and Match are normal and standard. In an article published in The Atlantic it stated, “American adults ages 18 to 24 used online-dating sites and apps at an average rate for all American adults—about 10 percent. Since then, that rate has almost tripled. College-aged and post-college-aged Americans are now the most likely demographic to turn to the technology” (Robinson Meyer, The Atlantic.com). The interactions and behaviors of dating using
The definition of a relationship has changed so many times in the past decades. It has gone from a connection between two people to an obsession and almost a competition. In today’s world a relationship consists of major intimacy and closeness. There are some who believe that intimacy while dating is wrong. They form their own definition of a relationship into what they call a “godly relationship”. Those supporting that kind of a relationship condemn sexual closeness and monitor who their young people are allowed to date. There are two worlds of dating in our lives today; one with infatuation and the other with togetherness.
People in society today can find potential sex partners in a heartbeat. In Nancy Jo Sales’ article “Tinder and the Dawn of the ‘Dating Apocalypse,’” she talks about how powerful the Internet and dating applications can be in helping one find potential partners. Jo Sales argues that dating applications and the Internet are not generally used for dating, but they are used for finding instant sex partners that lead to one-night stands. Short-term relationships are increasing due to the Internet and applications and will continue to increase in the future. Scholars have argued that sexual activity has tremendously increased, moving from traditional dating to a new style of dating called hookups. Also, research indicates numerous examples
With technology advances steadily in today’s society, individuals steadily advance too. One of these aspects includes dating. Individuals in today’s society hope to find companionship through online dating websites so that someday some online daters might be able to find a companion. With websites like eHarmony, Match, Christian Mingle, OkCupid, Black People Meet, and JDate, finding the one seems to be easier and more convenient than ever. Most of these websites even display statistics showing that one out of five relationships start online. The questions that should be asked, is this a better and safer option than looking for the one in person? Individuals tend to ignore the possible risks involving online dating. They are willing to release personal information from pictures of oneself, to locations of where they work, or live just for the possibility of finding a companion. The online users have to ask themselves: is the risk worth it in the end, or does the benefit outweighs the cost? When searching for a companionship through online dating websites, negative aspects such as profiles, self-presentation, self-disclosure, predators and sexual mishaps, may outweigh the positive aspects and cause more problems and strife then actual good.
Toma, C. L., Hancock, J. T., & Ellison, B. N. (2008). Separating fact from fiction: An examination of deceptive self-presentation in online dating profiles. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34, 1023-1036.
After doing more research in the impact of technology on interpersonal relation, I realized that technology isn’t all that great, because it hinder us from socializing practically and create a healthy interpersonal relationship. In like manner, the same goes for online dating because in my opinion, effective communication still needs to be done in person. Body language, voice tone, and physical contact make a huge difference in making conversation more alive.
Dating nowadays has evolved into something similar to a math equation. Technology has changed society and culture so much in the 21st century that something which did not seem normal probably 30 years ago seems mundane now: meeting people via computer. In order to find the most compatible person, suddenly people are not able to find “the one” and need the help of a computer to tell them who their personality matches with, causing many people to not develop proper social skills along with confidence. People have different relationship goals which they wish to achieve, be it through either traditional or online dating. Although traditional and online dating have many similarities, at the same time they are very different when it comes to the
The article “Love Via The Internet”[3]. The writer started the article by showing her own opinion clearly about the long distance relationships through the dating websites “I'm having doubts about a long-distance relationship that started through a dating site.”[3]. Then she started to give an example of a relationship via the...
In the twenty-first century, we use the internet for almost everything that we do. We use search engines such as Bing or Google to find information. Websites like Netflix and Hulu allow us to watch shows and movies without an expensive cable or satellite subscription. Social networks provide a new way to communicate with friends and family. Entire companies are run through the internet. With gas prices rising every day, it has also become increasingly popular to see a lot of jobs turn to telecommuting. It’s only natural that as other aspects of our lives conform to the internet, that online dating should also begin to be more prevalent in how we form new romantic relationships. Online dating is the new normal, and this is more evident now than ever.