Essay On Lisa Ko's 'The Leavers'

1091 Words3 Pages

Redefining Oneself Human beings often experience difficulty learning how to navigate life, switching between multiple identities. In Lisa Ko’s The Leavers, Deming and Kay have to manage different personal ambitions. Deming and Kay, mother and son, learn to live life as different obstacles move towards them. Deming is forced to change who he is and must fight to live the life he wants. Kay, a new mother, has to leave her past behind so she can be the best version of herself and be a supportive mother to her son. Having to adjust to change while lacking control leads characters to reinvent themselves by accepting their pasts, resulting in feeling at peace with their identities. Characters have to adjust to change despite having little control …show more content…

Deming takes, “.a second to realize they were talking to him. When school started, they said, it would be easier with an American name” (49). Deming is forced to change his name to a more American one. Even though this is not what Deming wants, he does not have a choice. After being adopted he struggled to adapt and now he also has to change a personal part of him. He is trying to adjust to major changes in his life, but he is not given much control over how to go about managing these changes. Kay is also trying to adjust to the changes in her life–becoming a parent–and, like Deming, she also feels like she was not given a choice. Kay and Peter talk about Deming late one night. Kay thinks it would’ve been better to adopt a younger child, but Peter thinks that Deming is great the way he is. Kay says, “I know,” he says. But I can’t figure out how to act around him sometimes” (55). Even though she wants a child and is putting forth a great deal of effort, Kay feels no connection with Deming. She feels this disconnect even more due to the fact that she constantly struggles with Deming. Kay wants the best for Deming, but doesn’t know how to relate to …show more content…

Characters must face their past to help reinvent themselves. By confronting the way Peter and Kay treated him in the past, Deming is finally free to be who he is. Deming talks to his parents about his time in Fuzhou. Kay thinks that many women don’t have a good education. Deming thinks oppositely and says, “She wasn’t listening to him”. He recalled how she and Peter had insisted on English, his new name, the right education. How better and more hinged on their ideas of success, their plans” (332). Deming feels misunderstood by his parents. They see him as someone who needs saving. He comes to terms with the fact that maybe his parents still see him as this little kid. He is grown up now and wants to move on. Kay must also learn to see herself in a new way. On the morning of Father’s Day, Deming is making Peter’s card and Kay brings up how these types of holidays might be uncomfortable for him. Referring to Mother’s Day, Kay says, “.when you were younger I thought I didn't deserve to celebrate the holiday, that it was, I don’t know, inauthentic for me to do so as an adoptive mother.You needed a mother, and if I wasn’t a mother, than who

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