East vs West

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In Nectar in a Sieve, Rukmani and Kenny highlight the differences in the two cultures, showing how the two cultures have different standards for relationships and how Westerners try to change suffering and poverty while Easterners accept it. As Rukmani points out to Kenny, “Have I not so much sense to see that you are not one of us? You live and work here… but this is not your country” (Markandaya 106). Kenny and Rukmani are friends, but their different values on subservience in relationships and suffering cause them to butt heads during most of their conversations.

Rukmani and Kenny’s conversations show how Easterners value respect and reverence, while Westerners put and emphasis on equality. After Kenny helps her conceive, Rukmani bends down to kiss Kenny’s feet, thinking she is showing respect. Kenny doesn’t like it: “He withdrew [his feet] quickly and told me to get up. ‘I am not your benefactor’” (Markandaya 32). Similarly, Rukmani is hesitant to ask about Kenny’s family because it is personal: “Of himself he did not speak… I held my tongue, for I felt to ask would be to offend him” (Markandaya 33). Both of these events show how the two cultures misunderstand each other. Kenny doesn’t like when Rukmani kisses his shoes because he doesn’t feel above her, but she is just trying to be nice. And Rukmani doesn’t understand what will and won’t offend Kenny because her culture doesn’t encourage asking personal questions.

Their conversations show more deeply how each culture views marital relationships. Rukmani only sees Kenny for her fertility problems when her husband won’t find out; she believes he will be angry (Markandaya 21). She also only takes Ira to Kenny when her husband leaves town: “I (Rukmani) waited all day [to see you]. My husband will be back soon and the I cannot come” (Markandaya 59). Though she subverts it, Rukmani is limited by her belief she cannot disobey her husband. Instead, since she doesn’t ask his permission, she can’t break his rules. Kenny scorns this, saying, “You people will never learn. It is pitiful to see your foolishness” (Markandaya 59). In Kenny’s country, women have rights. They can even divorce their husbands, as Kenny’s wife does. Rukmani fails to understand how this woman can leave her husband and wonders if it’s Kenny’s long absences. They discuss women’s role, Rukmani says, “A woman’s place is with her husband” Kenny replies, “You simplify everything… Your views are so limited it is impossible to explain to you” (Markandaya 106).

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