Some people may get the wrong idea about an emotional affair. They may even wonder how such an affair can affect a marriage. Couples may believe that they can control their spouses by not allowing them to have friends because it can lead to such an affair. Having friends does not in itself lead to emotional affairs. Couples have friendships with people that they have made together during the marriage all the time. They also have their own individual friends that they like to hang out with.
These type of affairs start when a couple stop sharing an emotional bond, but the person begins to share that emotional connection with someone else outside of the marriage. This can be devastating to a person. It can sometimes be even more damaging than an actual affair. When a spouse begins to share all of their secrets, ideas, dreams, and goals with someone else it can be heartbreaking. A person's spouse is supposed to be their best friend. They are the ones that their spouses should be sharing these emotional talks with. A spouse can be made to feel completely left out in the cold when their spouse is sharing wonderful
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This may confuse some spouses when they believe that they have done nothing wrong because they did not cheat on their spouse. How emotional affairs can affect a marriage is by the spouse not owning what they have done.
Even though they may not have cheated with this person, they have shared so many intimate details with that person that cheating is the next step. This is because the same emotional bond that they shared with their spouse was the same emotional beginning that led up to the couple falling in love and then marrying. Now the spouse is sharing this same emotional connection with another person.
Saving a Marriage From the Brink of
Marriage is something most people do but few do it well. If a couple is not looking at divorce papers that are probably seeking marriage counseling. If they are not screaming to the top of their lungs at each other they are probably sneaking out to lie in someone else’s arms. If they are not physically abusing one or the other they are probably being mentally abusive. If a couple is not saying hurtful things to each other they are probably not saying anything at all because why would they when the other is not going to listen anyways. We have all been in or seen relationships struggle with these kinds of things. This big question is where did they go wrong? I think the answer to that question lies in Matt Chandler’s book The Mingling of Souls. Chandler’s answer to the question above is that if a couple wants to have a truly successful marriage they must follow God’s design for marriage. Now Chandler is in no way implying that a couple will not struggle if they do it God’s way but they will be able to get through those struggles together. This review is not a summary of the book but it will discuss the strength and weaknesses of
Daw, Jennifer. “Saving Marriages: How to do it?” American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. 16 June 2005. 16 June 2005
The relationship between the husband and wife seems initially to be perfect. They both show each other expressions of love. There is understanding, harmony, financial security, and good communication between them. The couple spends a lot of time together, discussing future plans, and talking about the good moments they had in the past. However, behind all of this positive interaction between the two of them is something they are both not able
Doctor Dobson first looks at the reactions of a spouse when they find out that their marriage is beginning to slip away because their mate is involved in an affair. Across the board in all the cases he has studied or personally
...me again. The deserted or betrayed party will always look upon their spouse differently, thinking and fearing that they will be betrayed again, or left, with no warning. Hurt and pain will be a constant companion, and they will find themselves always questioning their partner’s motives and actions. Perhaps trust is damaged or even destroyed.
Along with these feelings of rejection, the spouse who wanted to stay married also often feels betrayed. Their partner vowed to love and honor them forever, and to stand by them in sickness and in health, and to devote their lives to them. With divorce, all of that is taken away. Those promises of love, fidelity, and companionship are broken, by the choice of the spouse pursuing the divorce. In contrast, when d...
A man has been married to his wife for seven years. The couple has two beautiful children, a fabulous home, and appear to have the perfect marriage. After the husband leaves work one afternoon, he decides to stop in at the local bar. The man sits at a table in the corner of the room. Not long after his arrival, a woman approaches him. She asks the man if she can join him at his table. The two seem to have quite a bit in common and enjoy each other’s company. The woman asks if he would like to go back to her apartment. He has not had a fight with his wife today. In fact, she surprised him with a love note in his briefcase. Their sex life is enjoyable, frequent, and without complaint. The couple is not currently having financial problems. Despite this, why did the man decide to leave with a stranger and cheat on his wife? A great deal of research has been carried out on the topic of infidelity. Marital therapists have reported that more than half of the couples they counsel are in therapy as a result of infidelity (Atkins, Jacobson citation). Therapists also consider an extramarital affair as, “one of the most damaging relationship events and one of the most difficult problems to treat in couples therapy” (whisman predicting sexual infidelity…). Some therapists estimate that 50% to 65% of couples seek help after an incident of infidelity in their relationship (Atkins, Jacobson & Baucom). Identifying the reasons for this problem are essential to the success of its reduction. Infidelity is not a new phenomenon. However, there was little research on the topic until the late 1970’s (Drigotas & Barta, 2001). Numerous factors have been examined while trying to determine the root cause for extramarital relationships a...
As seen basing ones life on infidelity can ruin everything one has built for themselves. Lies and unfaithfulness never ends with happy endings and should never be a foundation for any relationship. As seen infidelity will emotionally damage oneself and some even being permanently damaged out of their existence. Consequently the ones that started and perpetrated the whole situation will also learn their lesson through the
It’s a lot of responsibility. The best way to enter a marriage is by loving and respecting the future partner. Infidelity, either physical or emotional, is an indication of a disconnected marriage. According to an article by Susan K. Whitbourne in Psychology Today, the reasons that lead to infidelity are diverse; among them we can find lack of sexual satisfaction, lack of emotional satisfaction, or wanting emotional validation from someone else. All the exposed above could explain the situation of our protagonist, Ethan Frome. Setting aside the fact that he married Zeena for the wrong reasons, they did not share any interests or desires at all; this is why Ethan feels attracted to Mattie. “She had an eye to see and an ear to hear: he could show her things and tell her things, and taste the bliss of feeling that all he imparted left long reverberations and echoes he could wake at will.” (Wharton 29) In their special night, Ethan feels “…suffocated with a sense of well-being...” (Wharton 72) thanks to Mattie. Susan K. Whitbourne argues that “…seeking emotional intimacy can be nearly as compelling a reason to have an affair as can seeking physical intimacy… being appreciated is a key factor in the emotional connection that partners feel toward each
Marital drift can occur in any marriage relationship, regardless of culture, status, religious beliefs and practices, or lifestyle. Various factors can contribute to marital drift. Individuals and couples face many demands upon their time, energy, and attention. In their research, King and DeLongis (2014) report that the marriage relationship involves a variety complex interactions, all of which are influenced by a variety of stress and coping processes. These interactions (or lack thereof), constraints, and stressors can cause a drift to occur, separating the couple from each other emotionally, sexually, and physically. If not tended to, a marital drift can ultimately end in divorce.
Infidelity is depicted as an extremely negative thing in the United States, and is often blamed for trust issues, psychologically damaging the spouse and their children, tearing apart marriages and families and more. People who commit adultery are often shamed and told how wrong what they did is and what a terrible person they are for doing it. According to the Journal of Martial and Family by the Associated Press, however, 41% of “marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional.” Clearly, while infidelity is generally viewed negative by society, many people either decide that it is not as negative as it is portrayed, or do not care and do it anyway. “The Lady with the Pet Dog” and “The Storm” both go against the typical view of adultery being a negative thing in a relationship by showing that it can actually have a beneficial outcome and leave some, if not all people happier.
Cheating can cause a mental breakdown. It affects how the person feels about themself, as they start to believe that they are not good enough because you went out to find what he or she couldn’t give you. It can make your partner have suicidal thoughts because pain may differ from person to person. Not everyone might respond the same way to an unfaithful partner.For Example, A married woman expects her husband to be loyal and a married man expects the same because the moment they said “Yes I do”, they made a commitment to be together and not let temptation bring them
... Imagine how difficult it would be to trust one’s spouse again. It would be like starting all over. Many believe that “once a cheat always a cheat”, people who have several affairs have a higher divorce rate (figure 7). One would have to put forth time, and effort to restore something that they did not destroy. All of the years of marriage, all that was shared and considered sacred is gone. How can one be expected to believe that the affair was an isolated incident that never took place earlier on in the marriage? It is with all of these doubts and unanswered questions that it becomes evident that adultery destroys marriages and therefore marriage cannot survive infidelity. Infidelity not only destroys marriages, it also destroys families. Children turn away from their mothers or fathers, and it is at that point that the marriage should be considered null and void. The possibility of a marriage being able to survive infidelity is far fetched. Therefore, the answer to the question: ‘can marriage survive infidelity’ is evident.
University of Wisconsin: New Study Reveals that Cheating Actually Makes a Marriage Stronger: A study emerging out of Italy suggests that infidelity promotes stronger marriage bonds.
There are several types of effects that can happen in relationships once someone in the relationship is caught in the act. People define these in different ways. Some focus and feel more of the physical effects on a relationship, others more of the physiological or emotions they feel. With the physical signs, it’s more with how the relationship is afterward, and not as focused around the emotions both feel. For instance, when one is caught cheating, many things change. Yes, breaking up generally takes place, but what happens between the breakup or divorce is possibly living separately, and practically preparing for living by themselves once again. This effect is not the prime factor people think about after cheating takes place in their relationship, it is the physiological, or emotional feelings they receive. An article titled “The Effects of Cheating” by Stacy Lucas, goes in depth into the distinct effects people say they feel after either being caught or catching their loved one cheating. Summing up her article, she goes in depth with the grieving process. The grieving process, Shock, Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, which according to Lucas, is what many people feel after cheating takes place in their relationship. She mainly expresses her opinion on “feeling like you failed”, going on to say “From their actions you feel like a failure,