Connie's Identity

Joyce Carol Oates begins “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been” by illustrating for us Connie’s concededness as she looks at herself in the mirror. Oates tells us why Connie is so eager to explore her limits as a young teen; she is unaware of her own identity. For a child, parents are their way of interpreting their own identity as an individual and Connie lacks a father figure and the affection of a mother. This short story tells how Connie felt her beauty gave her power and how it was her weakness.
Connie’s addiction to her beauty reflects upon her current life time trend. She believed her “mother preferred her to June because she was prettier” (Oates 235), which in her world beauty is everything to a woman. Self absorption is a major factor in the lives of teens world-wide, and Connie is an example of it. Oates describes her life to be two sided; one way at home and one way when out with friends (Oates 234). Since, Connie had no source of guidance or rules from either parent, this led her to live a secret life outside her home, where she explores the variety of emotions from older boys.
This lack of authority allowed Connie to venture into society, in search of her identity as well as her independence. She purposely tries to seduce

older guys with her beauty, lies to her parents about her ware-abouts, and refuses to listen to her mother. Connie herself is still a child attempting to claim her independence at only fifteen, as a result, she becomes even more blinded by the fact that her beauty will also attract dangers that she ignores. Everytime she experiments is like lighting a beaken for predators to see and being self absorbed is only blinding her from seeing the reality of it all.
Unfortunately, Connie refuses go to a family gathering in order to clean her hair, leaving herself vulnerable. As Connie ignores the last moments of ever seeing her mom again, she turns to her music, cleans her hair, and daydreams of boys. In this scene, Connie turns to her music which puts her into a hypnotic transe, causing her to be oblivious to the lurking danger nearby. When Arnold Friend, Connie’s careless death wish, arrives, she runs to check her hair before showing herself (Oates 236). Connie’s idea of standing out to older boys is about to become a nightmare.
Oates foreshadows the night before when Connie is out with friends and witnesses an open jalopy, then sees it again pulling up on her driveway. Connie, however does not recall the side comment from Arnold in the parking lot, the night before when he says, “Gonna get you, baby” (Oates 234). Like his victim, Arnold Friend finds out all he knows about Connie and lures her in with his music, almost seducing her like she seduces older men with her beauty. Connie’s idea of love and sex are derived from her music and as she becomes more aware of her sexuality, she becomes more aware of how innocent she really is.
Now that Arnold Friend has Connie’s attention he tells her his plans to “come inside where it’s all secret” (Oates 240).

Arnold’s explicit sexual images of them two together causes Connie to collapse near the phone and yell for her mother; not her friends or the boys she has met, but her own mother who she thought she hated. Her grief is a product of her own loss of innocence and her fear of who she is during the last moments of her life. Connie has been living a fantasy for so long that she cries for her mother and when she does not come to aid, she becomes alienated from herself as a person. This causes Connie to question if she belongs to herself or someone else, which demonstrates her submissiveness to Arnold’s

authority.
Mentally, Arnold Friend attacks Connie by threatening to harm her family if she touches the phone, building up Connies fear. Oates makes Arnold seem like the devil, affecting Connie’s mental state. “As if it were something Arnold Friend was stabbing her with again and again with no tenderness”(13). Oates uses descriptive language to imply that Connie is having a panic attack because of what Arnold Friend claims he will do to her. Connie is curious of sex and is attracted to Arnold’s disguise as a younger adult, but is quickly disguisted when the sexual plans are revealed.
Connie’s dream to be loved by an older male figure is fulfilled by one of many sexual predators who have been preying on her. Oates reveals that Connie lives in a sexist world, where women are viewed as objects for male pleasure. As Arnold asks her, “what else is there for a girl like you but to be sweet and pretty and give in?” (14). Like Connie’s mother, her existence is limited. Earlier in the story her mother scolds her for being conceded only because she is a reflection of Connie and she too had to face reality and what the world had waiting for her.