Jarrod Ganch Professor Hansen Conflict Resolution Integrative Paper The conflict that I am going to discuss is one that happened to one of my lifelong friends about two years ago. He was a freshman in college who liked to have fun, and because of it began to experiment with drugs. I am choosing to keep his name concealed and will use the name John Walsh in replace of his. Also though this is a story that I am telling about him I will tell it through John’s point of view to make the story more captivating and more filled with emotion. Throughout this paper I’m going to discuss an interpersonal conflict that I experienced with my parents and my friends. I will do this by addressing the fundamental elements of a conflict which include the …show more content…
parties involved in the conflict, the actual issue of the conflict, and the context of the conflict. Later I will identify conflict management theories, tools, concepts and the conflict aftermath using the Conflict Lens Model. First I will begin with a summary of how I grew up dealing with conflict in my family. Families generally deal with conflict in one of three ways; they either avoid conflict, discuss conflict in a collaborative manner, or they’re extremely aggressive when they experience a conflict. Unfortunately for me my family dealt with conflict in an aggressive manner. When there is a family conflict my family tends to talk the problem through, but within several minutes of talking about the issue name calling, yelling, and dramatic behavior would always transpire. This would happen quite often considering everyone in my family tended to believe that they were right even if it was obvious that they weren’t. Generally speaking after a night of arguing everyone would go to bed upset, but wake up the next morning and act as if the conflict from the night before didn’t occur. The problem would then be avoided until it absolutely had to be discussed. The conflict that I experienced with my parents occurred back in November of 2013 my freshman year of college. The people that were involved within this conflict were my mother Sam, my father Luke, my friends Jarrod, Sean, Dean, Donny, and me. The problem happened when my friends called my parents and told them that they were extremely worried about me and my health because I had been using heroine very frequently. My parents called me and confronted me about this issue. I spoke with my dad first and he asked me what was going on and if what he heard from my friends was true. I had no idea that my friends called my parents so when I found out they did I was furious. I told my dad while speaking to him that I had only done heroine once or twice which of course was a total lie. After I spoke with him, my mom got on the phone. My mom of course asked me the same question as my dad did and I told her the same thing I did to my father. Then after I talked to them both separately they both got on the phone and told me that they didn’t believe a word I said. They then proceeded to say that if I didn’t go to receive help somewhere they were going to stop paying for my schooling along with cell phone bills, and several other things. Right after I finished talking to my parents I called my friends to ask why they had told my parents about my drug use. They said that my overuse of drugs was beginning to have an effect on my attitude and that they think I really need some help. Several days after I talked to my parents my friends came by to talk to me. They said that they had talked to my parents again and that if I wanted my parents to continue to pay for everything that I must go see a drug/alcohol therapist. So the next day I went with my parents and my friends to see the therapist.
At first I and the therapist spoke alone, then she brought my friends in the room. When I first talked to her without my friends in the room I told her that I had only used once or twice. Then when my friends came in the room I began to open up and realized that they really just wanted the best for me, and that I should tell the truth. Saying all of this in front of someone was very hard for me and I began to cry. After the session was over I felt better getting it all out and telling the truth. I also however thought that I was finished and everything was going to be ok with me and my parents, but my parents had other plans. Once they found out what I had really been doing they told me that they wanted me to go to rehab to help end my addiction. I as you can imagine was pissed, I had to drop from all my classes, and had to leave the fun of college and getting high in the past. The first week or two of rehab wasn’t that bad considering they give you pills to help wean you off of the heroine. After the phase of pills it was straight to cold turkey, this was the hard part. I frequently got urges and night sweats, and even mild hallucinations. All in all I ended up getting clean and stayed in rehab for 8 …show more content…
months. The conflict goals in this conflict are simple, each party myself being party number one, and my parents and my friends being party number two were trying to accomplish different goals.
Party number one wanted nothing to change; I didn’t want any help from anybody, and I was willing to go to outer space and back to make sure I did not lose anything that I already had. On the other hand my family and friends were deeply concerned about my well-being, and were willing to go to all measures to change my life style even if it meant bending the truth. These conflict goals can be analyzed through many conflict models and theories. The Lens Model of Conflict represents the building blocks of a conflict. We can easily compare my interpersonal conflict with this model. The model consists of the two aspects of a conflict, communication behaviors, and the perception of those behaviors. The communication behaviors that existed within my interpersonal conflict were obviously different between both parties. I felt like my friends went behind my back talking to my parents so when I spoke to them it wasn’t on best terms along with my parents. On the other side of things my family and friends were very supportive and only wanted the best for me. They were very clear with their emotions, even though they knew that I hated what they were saying and hated that they were trying to change me, they still had my best interest in mind. The second aspect of the Lens Model of Conflict is the
perception of the communication behaviors. I perceived my friends and family confrontation as a negative attack on me. I assumed that my friends hated me and wanted me out of school, and my parents did not trust me and were going to believe my friends over me. On the other hand my friends and family perceived that situation completely different, my friends noticed a change in my behavior and knew about my drug use, and out of love and deep concern told my parents. My parents then became worried, and called me out of concern and love as well. I didn’t understand why I needed help and my friends and family didn’t understand why I didn’t want to get help, therefore my lens and their lens distorted the situation in opposite ways. After comparing this interpersonal conflict with the Conflict Lens Model, I realized that my identity goals were being threatened by my friends and my family during this particular interpersonal conflict. After my parents finding out about my drug use it became evident that my friends and family had lost respect for me and now looked down on me as if in sorrow. Given that I believed they felt that way about me, I lost the power in the conflict. Power is needed to fulfill an identity need. I lost power during this interpersonal conflict, therefore my identity goals were lost, and the outcome of the conflict process ended up favoring my family and my friends desires. My friends assessed my behavior and realized that I was suffering because of drugs; they then called my family who assumed that I really did have a problem. Those behavioral acts that were based on assessments and assumptions about my drug use that were made by my friends and my family were geared toward resolving the conflict, using conflict management tactics and goals. In retrospect, my friends and my family had a true interest in achieving a major goal. That goal was to get me off heroine. Although, when I was confronted about the problem I took a solid position to try and negotiate their claims. In the end I lost my self-identity, which in turn made me loose power during the conflict process. Whereas, my family and friends gained power and their ability to influence the outcome was stronger than mine. In the end I ended up where they wanted me to, rehab.
Unfortunately, in each story, the brothers do not so much come across the encouraging “brotherly love” that is so often assumed to exist. Because of the hardships of separation, each set of brothers understands the finality of their relationships after drugs are incorporated into the equation. Sadly, the transformations experienced because of the drugs poison their chances of reconciliation and forces them to stand alone. Their newfound individuality presents a harsh realism: there will be no “brother” by his side.
In today’s society, there are a lot of kids that didn’t grow up with their father due to their parents fighting all the time. A lot of the times the father is a drunk and gets violent towards his partner or his children. I think that I can relate a little to this story because I was in a similar situation with my father. When I was little my parents would separate often. I could not understand why they would separate when I was little.
Drugs is one of the themes in this story that shows the impact of both the user and their loved ones. There is no doubt that heroin destroys lives and families, but it offers a momentary escape from the characters ' oppressive environment and serves as a coping mechanism to help deal with the human suffering that is all around him. Suffering is seen as a contributing factor of his drug addiction and the suffering is linked to the narrator’s daughter loss of Grace. The story opens with the narrator feeling ice in his veins when he read about Sonny’s arrest for possession of heroin. The two brothers are able to patch things up and knowing that his younger brother has an addiction. He still buys him an alcoholic drink at the end of the story because, he has accepted his brother for who he really is.
One can easily compare my brother, Andrew, interpersonal conflict with this model. The model consists of the two most important aspects of a conflict, communication behaviors, and the perception of those behaviors. The communication behaviors that existed within Andrew interpersonal conflict were obviously differences between both parties. My brother, Andrew, felt attacked and betrayed by his friends and family, so his communication was very selective. When Andrew would speak to the other party (friends and family) he would lash out by yelling and screaming. Whereas, the communication behaviors among Andrew’s friends and my family was claim but aggressive. They showed their true emotions, even though those emotions hurt Andrew severely. They were brutally honest and they did not back down. They made sure that their message was
Her father’s addiction left her with a negative impact. She grew so anxious that even her teacher worried about her. She read an article and realized how similar her case was to the article. She connected with “‘invisible losses’ suffered by children of addicts: loss of love, stability, a caretaker, a carefree childhood” (Levinson 1). The article shows how the children of drug addicted parents all go through similar things. Later, Levinson starts to understand what it is that her father is going through, she writes,”I began to understand that what my father had been grappling with was not a moral failing, but a disease” (1). Levinson realizes how serious her father’s addiction was and how dangerous it
The way someone manages a difference can make conflict turn into a sphere of harm or a sphere of value. The sphere of harm is when differences are managed in destructive and damaging ways. Littlejohn states (2014) states, “Conflicts are managed so badly that damage is done to people, relationships, and, indeed, entire social worlds” (p. 188). If a party were to react to an indifference by using physical or verbal violence the conflict would move into the sphere of harm. On the other hand, the sphere of value is when differences are significant, but not controversial. Instead, parties value the difference, appreciate it and view it as a positive asset. The goal of conflict is to move from the sphere of harm to the sphere of
One of the greatest impacts on an individual's life is their parents. The values of one’s parents are the first ideas that a person embraces, regardless of their moral soundness. One form of self-preservation is to live one’s life by lying to oneself and others in order to feel better about oneself. There is great difficulty in rejecting a lifestyle that a person has grown up in, in favor of a more morally correct way of living. Ultimately, there is great freedom, and great pain, in finally breaking free of one’s past.
Interpersonal conflict is very common with many relationships. It occurs when two people can not meet in the middle or agree on a discussion. Cooperation is key to maintaining a healthy debate. More frequently; when dealing with members of your own family, issues arise that include conflict and resolution. During this process our true conflict management style appears “out of thin air”. (Steve A. Beebe, 2008, p. 191).
A group can only be called a team if the members are actively working together toward a common goal. A team must have the capability to set goals, make decisions, solve problems, and share responsibilities. For a team to be successful, trust must be earned between its members by being consistent and reliable (Temme & Katzel, 2005). When more than one person is working on a particular task, inconsistent views or opinions commonly arise. People come from different backgrounds and live through different life experiences therefore, even when working towards a common goal, they will not always see eye to eye. Major conflict that is not dealt with can devastate a team or organization (Make Conflict Work, 2008). In some situations, conflict can be more constructive than destructive. Recognizing the difference between conflict that is constructive to the team and conflict that is destructive to the team is important. Trying to prevent the conflict is not always the best way to manage conflict when working within a team setting. Understanding conflict, what causes it, and how to resolve conflict effectively, should consume full concentration.
“To live anyhow is better than not at all” (Chekhov 1) , the short story, The Bet commenced with the conflict when the person had no choice but to choose between the death penalty or life in prison. The Bet was originally written by Anton Chekhov, a profound Russian short-story writer who concentrated a lot on human values and the reflection of the extravagantly selfish Russian nobility. And through The Bet he was able to express all those ideas in two sides, the banker and the lawyer with the conflict along the story line.
Look up the word conflict in the dictionary and you will see several negative responses. Descriptions such as: to come into collision or disagreement; be at variance or in opposition; clash; to contend; do battle; controversy; quarrel; antagonism or opposition between interests or principles Random House (1975). With the negative reputation associated with this word, no wonder people tend to shy away when they start to enter into the area of conflict. D. Jordan (1996) suggests that there are two types of conflict: good, which is defined as cognitive conflict (C-type conflict) and, detrimental, defined as affective conflict (A-type conflict). The C-type conflict allows for creativity, to pull together a group of people with different opinions or ideas, to combine and brain storm all thoughts to develop the best solution for the problem. The A-type conflict is the negative form when you have animosity, hostility, un-resolveable differences, and egos to deal with. The list citing negative conflicts could go on forever. We will be investigating these types of conflicts, what managers can do to recognize conflict early, and what strategies they can use to resolve conflicts once they have advanced.
Conflict management model is propounded effective when the result of conflict is productive or acceptable for all the parties involved. The main motive of any conflict management model is to reduce the impact of conflict on negative note and guide parties towards agreement and strong relationship. This study is to analyze the effectiveness of Rahim’s Meta or Dual concern model for conflict management.
According to Robin (2002), there are five conflict resolution styles: confront compromise, collaborate, accommodate, and avoid. Identify the preference(s) you most often use from these resolution styles. Think about times you have interacted with styles other than your own. Once the differences between these styles are identified, they can be managed, and the appropriateness of when to use them can be determined.
According to McShane and Von Glinow, conflict is “a process in which one party perceives that his or her interests are being opposed or negatively affected by another party” (328). The Conflict Process Model begins with the different sources of conflict; these sources lead one or more parties to perceive that a conflict exists. These perceptions interact with emotions and manifest themselves in the behavior towards other parties. The arrows in the figure illustrate the series of conflict episodes that cycle into conflict escalation (McShane and Von Glinow 331-332).
When most people hear that word conflict, they decide instantly if this is something they care to get involved in. Most people rather avoid conflict than get caught up in other people’s drama. Laura Stacks author of conflict in the workplace compares conflict to pain. She argues that pain and conflict has one thing in common; no one likes either. However, someone once said that pain was a gift, because pain is the indicator that God blessed us with so that, we will know when something is wrong and we may need medical attention. If pain is not all bad according to Stacks illustration conflict is not all bad either. According to Porter-O’Grady and Malloch, (2015) it is normal for conflict to occur within various relationships; people will just have to learn to deal with conflict sooner or later. This paper will address the issues surround workplace conflicts and their resolutions.