The book, The lost art of listening gives many interesting examples that are useful for pastoral care and counseling. Each chapter gives thoughtful insights into what good listening is. The author explained, how each person yearns for someone to listen to them and also understands them. In any ministry weather is pastoral, caregiving or counseling the essence of good listening is empathy, which can be achieved only by suspending our preoccupation with ourselves, and entering into experience of the other person. Learning to Listen Improves Relationships (p. 10). A listener’s empathy—grasping what we’re trying to say and showing it—builds a bond of understanding, linking us to someone who hears us and cares, and thus confirms that our feelings
are legitimate and recognizable. The author emphasizes, the power of empathic listening is the power to transform relationships. When deeply felt but unexpressed feelings take shape in words that are voiced and come back clarified, the result is a reassuring sense of being understood and a grateful feeling of shared humanness with the one who understands. To listen is to pay attention, take an interest, care about, take to heart, validate, acknowledge, be moved … appreciate. Listening is so central to human existence (p. 14). To listen well, it’s necessary to let go of what’s on your mind long enough to hear what’s on the other person’s. Feigned attentiveness doesn’t work (p. 49). Genuine listening involves a suspension of self, you don’t always notice this because it’s reflexive and taken for granted (p. 76). Genuine listening demands taking an interest in the speaker and what he or she has to say (p. 74). The act of listening requires a submersion of the self and immersion in the other (p. 75).
In the book “look me in the eyes” by John Elder Robison, he talks about his life with Asperger’s and the challenged he faced as a kid. The first thing I noticed when reading the book that John Elder had a hard time looking people in the eye. Which is very common with kids with Asperger’s. During the time her was a student teachers didn’t know what this was so they handled the situation differently by yelling at him trying to force him to look them in the eye. If I was the teacher I would go about this situation differently I would try to figure out why he can’t look me in the eyes. By yelling at the student the teacher may be causing them to have anxiety which can cause any student to want to look away. Students sometimes think if a situation
Many people think that reading more can help them to think and develop before writing something. Others might think that they don’t need to read and or write that it can really help them to brainstorm things a lot quicker and to develop their own ideas immediately (right away). The author’s purpose of Stephen King’s essay, Reading to Write, is to understand the concepts, strategies and understandings of how to always read first and then start something. The importance of this essay is to understand and comprehend our reading and writing skills by brainstorming our ideas and thoughts a lot quicker. In other words, we must always try to read first before we can brainstorm some ideas and to think before we write something. There are many reasons why I chose Stephen King’s essay, Reading to Write, by many ways that reading can help you to comprehend, writing, can help you to evaluate and summarize things after reading a passage, if you read, it can help you to write things better and as you read, it can help you to think and evaluate of what to write about.
Listening is a vital and important part of communication. While speaking clearly and concisely is imperative, true listening is central to speaking with mindfulness and in the case of the counselor, this mindfulness has the possibility of leading clients to their own solutions to life’s tough circumstances. In his book, Petersen (2007) breaks down the communication cycle so that we can be aware of how we react when people share their emotions with us, and how to effectively communicate by listening and speaking in turn to build strong and supportive relationships, whether they are personal or professional.
Clinton, T. & Ohlschlager, G. (2002). Competent Christian counseling: Foundations and practice of compassionate soul care. Colorado Springs, CO: WaterBrook Press.
The counselling process is one that may last for as little as one session or for years, it is within the middles stages of the helping relationship that particular counselling skills such as a focusing, challenging and immediacy can be implemented, as well as use of advanced empathy that can be applied due to increased familiarity with a speaker. Many actions may occur within middles stage of the helping relationship such as transitions that occur for a multitude of reasons and the outcome of which can vary based on the attitude of the speaker. Self-awareness remains vital throughout the entire counselling relationship due to the continual influence of empathy in the helping relationship and remaining aware my own motives and values when using advanced empathy and specific counselling skills. Ethics and boundaries are also involved within the counselling process as within a counselling relationship, I as the counsellor, must be careful with the balance or expenditure of power when challenging.
I cannot infuse any tools or assist the client in becoming aware of self and needs without humbly accepting that my thoughts and actions are fallible because I am merely human. Although I have yet to practice counseling, I know one of the biggest changes I need to make in my life is to understand and know a person’s situation before assessing and attempting to offer Godly counsel. Effective intra-disciplinary integration is destined to my humility as a professional. I cannot counsel any client without truly knowing who he or she is and allowing God to show me the most operative technique for creating change in that person’s life.
Counseling skills has provided me with a valuable insight into the helping relationship and how it is both created and maintained in order to encourage growth and development in the client. The factors involved within the helping relationship include considering Roger’s core conditions, congruence, unconditional positive regard and empathy as the three main characteristics necessary in a helping relationship. In order to fully incorporate all three of Roger’s core conditions, I as the counselor must be self-aware, as a lack of self-awareness may inhibit truly listening and understanding the client; self-awareness can be enhanced through exercises such as Johari’s window. Counseling skills such as body language and active listening also plays a role within encouraging the client to open up and can help me as the counselor convey empathy.
Bell hooks, in chapter 14, discusses the issues that arise while liberating a marriage and partnership during the feminist movement. Hooks explores how important partnership is within relationships, marriage, and parenting. Hooks shows us that while some arrangements have changed, there seems to be some that are held back due to socially constructed problems.
In this chapter, Oswalt deals with ethics in the nonbiblical ANE and ethics in the Bible. Oswalt discusses ethical misbehavior and the offenses against the gods and the offenses against other human beings and how they are two of different natures. Oswalt notes that the offenses against the god are almost entirely in the cultic or magical realms; while the offenses against humans is of different sort – and that they have nothing to do with our treatment of each other, and the offenses against humans are judged solely based on the customary behavior of a culture. In this chapter, Oswalt also discussed the law codes and how the law themselves are understood to be human creation. Oswalt mentions the different punishments for different types
In 1925, Robert F. Williams was born in Monroe, North Carolina. Williams’ family was more prosperous than many in the black community, and this provided some extra opportunities such as being able to go to Charlotte by train for shopping or having other free train rides. As stated in the book, “Nobody at the Williams house went hungry or lacked clothing.” However, there was a key event that haunted Williams over his lifetime. The novel opens up with a story that Williams remembers when he was young. Seeing a white officer terribly accost a black women and watching black men be filled with shame and helplessness opened his eyes to the negative reality of racism at the time. Sights like these became all too common and remained on his mind as he continued throughout his life.
Effective crisis intervention must follow ethical principles which ensure that client is not placed in further harm also that the decisions and opinions of the client are respected throughout the process and the intervention upholds a rights-based approach. This involves good listening communication skills, observing, understanding, genuineness, respect, acceptance, non-judgment and sensitivity demonstrating empathy, among other support provided by counselor. A number of specific strategies can be used to promote effective listening during crisis intervention. These include using open-ended questions - “what” or “how” questions. They are used to encourage sharing of information from a client about their feelings, thoughts and behaviors, and are particularly useful when exploring problems during a crisis.
The author included this chapter in the novel to prompt the reader how negligent Edna was in taking off for the Chênière with Robert, not thinking about the emotions of those around. Neglecting her children, she imposes the expecting Madame Ratignolle to undertake accountability for the children and to put them to bed and to also to comfort them when they wonder about their mother. After Edna returns to the home, Madame Ratignolle tells her that her youngest son Etienne has been very disobedient and refused to go to bed. Edna embraces Etienne until he goes to bed, and Ratignolle informs her that Leónce has been concerned about her and had desired to retrieve her from the island. Leónce had been convinced that Edna had just been exhausted and
“How can I tell that He cares or hears us while we are suffering or in challenging situation?”
As a professional in today’s society, it is greatly important to be able to communicate effectively with other professionals, with clients, and with those that are encountered in daily living. In order to communicate in a proper manner, not only is talking and non-verbal communication, but a large aspect is the ability to listen. Listening is a vital task in order to build a relationship and find meaning in someone else’s words. In order to find this meaning one must follow the characteristics of active listening, face the challenges to listening, and reflect upon one’s own listening skills.
The shepherd and sheep relationship is the best illustration for the relationship between pastor and parishioners. When Jesus asked Simon Peter does he love him three times and said to him “Feed my sheep”, the shepherd and flock relationship has been set. Since Jesus is our good shepherd (Jn. 10:11a), he laid out a good example for us to follow - to lay down his life for the sheep. (Jn. 10:11b) Thus, the wellness of both in and out of the parishioners should always be the concern in the pastors’ hearts. Soul care for the people is essential. Christian friendship is the foundation of Christian soul care. Pastoral ministry including preaching, teaching, and worship forms the broad context of pastoral counseling. Pastoral care is within pastoral ministry but broader than pastoral counseling. God’s love is the source and motivation. Within the pastoral care, there are spiritual direction and pastoral