My first day of classes my freshmen year of college, I met Brody. He was my peer instructor for an introduction class to college called ICS (Intro to College Success). When I saw him I knew that I was attracted to him but he was a big, sophomore, football type of guy and I was a shy, tiny little freshman. It seemed like I did not have a chance. Throughout the next couple weeks we got to know each other through simple class activities but we never talked about anything personal. Finally, a mutual friend was tired of me gushing about Brody and how much I liked him so, our friend decided to explain to Brody my feelings. It only took 5 minutes for Brody to reach out to me. From there, we started hanging out and eventually moved into an intimate relationship. The timing was not right for us so it ended with minimal hurt feelings. Since then, we have both expressed interest in getting back together but the timing has not been right still. Currently, we have terminated the relationship but this is actually a common stage between us. Interpersonal communication is the biggest factor of our relationship and how well we communicate with each other determines how well the relationship will go. The most essential influence in our relationship is self-disclosure because it affects how we move through social stages. Relationships do not follow a straight path that leads to bliss. They are messy, complicated and even contradictory. Self-disclose was probably the most important component of our relationship that helped bring us closer to together. The very first time we hung out together outside of class, we sat on the soccer field bleachers for three hours just talking. We talked about our experiences of high school and how that was going to ... ... middle of paper ... ...table and complex. Understanding that just because my relationship is complicating and messy does not mean that it is a bad relationship, we just need to acknowledge that and improve our weak areas. An area that is causing much tension currently is the contradictions that we both are trying to balance. Having contradictions is something that is inevitable in relationships, but it is possible to reduce the tension by finding a balance that satisfies both partners. I have absolutely no idea what is next for Brody and I. When moving forward, it is important to remember how important interpersonal communication is in a relationship. It is something that I have heard so many times that it started to lose it’s meaning. Taking a step back and analyzing how communication has rendered my relationship with Brody has actually increased my self-awareness with how I communicate.
Never become complacent and let my interpersonal relationship becomes stagnant, which can lead to resentment and conflict. Weighing the cost verses the rewards may not always be the solution for my relationship; simply, because the cost may ultimately outweigh the rewards. The need for autonomy can have reverse effects and may not lead to the closeness that’s expected. In, turn the very thing that, I try to be open about in my relationship can inadvertently cause me to protect my feelings in the
While all relationships can be difficult, romantic relationships seem to be some of the most complicated types. Sometimes two people can care for one another so much, yet they cannot seem to communicate effectively. When a lack of communication occurs between two people for a long period of time, it most likely will lead to a huge confrontation and possibly a complete dissolve of the relationship. The Break-Up is a movie that shows how important interpersonal communication is in relationships. The movie features Brooke and Gary, a couple which has been together for several years. Although they seem to be arguing about something trivial like lemons, there are much bigger issues that begin to surface. Throughout this paper I will show how
... relationship and whether we were good for each other. It turned out that we held the same morals and were looking for the same qualities in each other. But aside from that it was light and fun conversation.
We instantly started talking about the film we wanted to see and proceeded to get our tickets together. After the movie, he politely asked if it was okay for him to hold my hand and I let him. We walked around the whole mall hand-in-hand talking about the movie we just watched. Then we went outside for a full-blown make out session in a secluded spot. The only reason we stopped was because security told us to leave the premises, we could have easily been there all night. My mom had dropped me off at the mall that night and so he offered to give me a ride home. Right before dropping me off he asked for me to be his girlfriend. And then he shared he was already falling deeply in love with me. I was so shocked by how fast it all happened and it all seemed like a dream to me. I agreed to be his girlfriend, but told him a benevolent lie when I also agreed that I was also falling in love with him already because I did not want to hurt his feelings (Alder, pg 97). Our first date was intriguing because it first felt like we were barely initiating our relationship, then experimenting, then straight to intensifying, all the way to integrating the relationship by the end of the night.
The time was around 10:30 and my eyelids felt as heavy as a brick to keep open. I was just about to shut everything down for the night, when the loud sound of a snapchat notification startled me awake. I looked at the blaring screen of my phone in the dark, to see it was from my friend Jordan. Flirting with each other was our thing, but nothing more. At the end of everything, he's a junior and I'm a freshman, he still wants me to grow up a little bit. I opened up
Effective communication is one of the most important things to maintain a happy relationship. Communication will help to create a better atmosphere and to know what are the interests, thoughts and feelings of your loved one. All romantic relationships need a lot of communications from both sides. The main factor is interpersonal communication, which couples are able to overlap environments and create a relationship. We reviewed the movie “The Breakup” and have found the concepts of Integrating, differentiating, and terminating. This movie shows how ineffective communication can dissolve a relationship. The lack of communication is the main factor why Brooke and Gary break up. This couple tends to rely on other people instead of trying to solve their problems talking to each other. They avoid talking because every time a new conflict will begin. In many of the scenes the couple creates big arguments from small issues. In this paper, we will explain the scenes of the movie that can be compared to the interpersonal communication concepts.
Kito, M. (2005). Self-Disclosure In Romantic Relationships And Friendships Among American And Japanese College Students. The Journal of Social Psychology, 145(2), 127-140.
In my earlier development in high school, I had talked with a school counselor about the broader social structure of college, which has become realized as part of my emerging social development into adulthood. Emotionally, I am learning to talk more with my friends at school, which offer s a much more mature interaction than the emotional connection I had with friends in high school. I can cry, express deep emotions, and reflect on my feelings with greater trust and freedom in college. Finally, I am involved in a relationship with a guy or girl (depending the customer’s sex identity), which is providing a more profound understanding of intimacy and healthy sexual relations at the collegiate level. I am searching for a long-term commitment from a partner, which defines my maturation from the process of “dating” in high
While there are going to be times where Katelyn or I want to wait a day or two to tell the other person about a specific event that happened so that we can individually take time to break it down and fully understand how we feel about it, we always tell each other about everything and how we feel about it. The dialectical tension of openness and closedness has never been a major problem in our relationship. It may be our Christian faith that has helped us to want to always be there for each other and keep each other accountable. I am not implying that all non-Christians struggle with this, but our faith has been helpful to us, specifically. Katelyn and I had known each other for a couple of years before we began dating, so I think that helped us be more comfortable with each other from the start. According to Joe Ayres, relationship development progresses from superficial non-intimate areas to more intimate, deeper layers of the selves. This goes along with the Social Penetration Model which shows how relationships progress toward intimacy as a result of self-disclosure from both partners. Because we were friends for the first couple of years that we knew each other, by the time we had started dating we had already disclosed a lot of personal information about ourselves and had therefore already penetrated into the inner layers of our personalities. As we became older and
As an illustration, tension in relationship can result from having money problems, seems to be the biggest problem for couples. As a result, there seems to be a lot of fighting going on in the relationship. Another, problem may be in the relationship, there is one or both partners re interested in someone else (coldness or openness) or one may be seeing someone, which cause confusion and arguing among themselves (DeVito 2016). Therefore, the theory posits that relationships can succumb to pressures that are often associated with maintaining connections and relationships, and the communication patterns can be affected by these forms of instability. (DeVito 2016) Equally important, patterns in communication that create a constant state of imbalance acts in such a way that it is adverse to cultivating and sustaining developed relationships. There are four principle concepts that are associated with this theory: opposing needs and desire, connection with others, autonomy and independence. (DeVito 2016 Pg. 236). One of the most prominent strengths of this theory is the practicality that is associated with rebalance of your life. It provides a sense of stability in relationships when someone utilizes the theory correctly. Communication strategies are taught in this theory which is great. For example, the principle issues is that it assumes that
It was not until we began hanging out with the same group of friends that we actually started to have truly engaging conversations. Once I got an idea of who he was at a basic level the more intrigued I was. This brings us to the experimenting stage, we began surrounding ourselves with the same group of people more and more as time went on. I was definitely interested in him at the time and because we were constantly together in group activities, I became fond of how he interacted in a group setting. He came off as a very kind, intelligent and humorous person. This encouraged me to get to know him on a deeper level. The curiosity I had really pushed me into the intensifying stage. We began hanging out more at school, working on the same projects and spending more time together aside our usual group activities. At this point, we began going on dates and had strong intentions on beginning a relationship. It was clear that we wanted to start a structure in our lives that actively involved one
We disclosed our concerns about a new romantic relationship at this point in our lives to each other which was extremely helpful. Bruno told me that he was worried about causing me to miss out on the full freshmen college experience and I explained to him some of my concerns such as a possible fall out. I noticed with every concern one of us brought up, the other countered it with a possible reward. In the end, we decided the pros outweighed the cons of us being in a committed relationship. After this, we both told each other what we would require or ask of the other person such as spending time with each other, providing support and advice to each other, etc. This depicts not only another calculation of the costs and rewards of starting a relationship but also illustrates the nonsymmetrical reciprocation of rewards we wanted from each
Before I started this paper, I knew that our relationship wasn’t perfect, but now that I have put experiences to the terms and realized that we need to work on quite a few things. The biggest thing I learned is that conflict doesn’t have to end in fights, and there can be positives that result from conflict. Now that I am aware of these problems, I am going to bring them up to my brother and try and explain to him that if we don’t change some of these problems we might risk losing the most important interpersonal relationship we have in our lives. Compromise is key to any lasting relationship and that is not something we are good at and definitely something we can and will improve upon. I am not saying that conflict is going to be eliminated completely, but what I am saying is some conflict can be gone without and is unnecessary. The next biggest thing I learned was about communication and how special my relationship with Gabe really is. I realized that nonverbal communication in a very developed relationship is more important than verbal communication. But nowadays, with me being in college and him two hours away, I am relying on verbal communications more than ever. Fowler (2009) showed me that our relationship will continue to change, but it does not
This poem has captured a moment in time of a dynamic, tentative, and uncomfortable relationship as it is evolving. The author, having shared her thoughts, concerns, and opinion of the other party's unchanging definition of the relationship, must surely have gone on to somehow reconcile the situation to her own satisfaction. She relishes the work entailed in changing either of them, perhaps.
Intimate relationships are a lot of times used for one’s personal needs. Relationships are being created with significant others for many different reason. I have never experienced being in a relationship for the wrong reasons, so I cannot talk much about this. However I can tell you a common issue I personally notice in today’s relationship struggling is the partners don’t talk about their feelings with one another. “Difficulty articulating what you feel; many adults don’t know to express what they feel. Instead, you communicate what you think” (Sachs, 2005). I believe this statement has a lot of truth to it because a lot of couples will not talk things out hoping that they will reside, when in reality that doesn’t happen. Tony and I could definitely work on this factor in our relationship, I have a hard time opening up and telling him my feelings about stuff that may be going on. Tony is really good about telling me how he feels at any time. I struggle with this because I push it off not hoping it will reside but because I feel like it is something I will get over and move on with. This is something we both are willing to work on and it will take time to accomplish