Although conventional wisdom varies greatly across different cultures and societies, such aphorisms are indubitably present and widely accepted in their respective communities as a means of rationalising certain phenomena. In a society dominated by traditional Asian values such as Singapore, the long-standing patriarchy which favours males has popularised sage maxims such as “boys will be boys” – a common and well-meaning explanation to rationalise misbehaviour and roughhousing in boys, especially in their early years.
This aphorism was one that I was happy to accept in my younger years. However, I began to re-evaluate my passive acceptance of this saying when I experienced the acute helplessness of being silenced by the application of such wisdom. My encounters with physical and verbal harassment have often been dismissed with a casual acceptance that men were predisposed to behave in such a repugnant manner. Similarly, the prevalence of victim-blaming in rape culture triggered outrage in me when I observed how the
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This piece of conventional wisdom does not hold water when we consider the fact that the phenomenon it explains is faulty itself. Promoting the belief that “boys will be boys” disadvantages both genders because males are stereotyped as lacking self-control while females suffer the entitlement to their bodily autonomy that is attached to such an excuse. Such wisdom is thus inadequate as it inadvertently enables the continued violence committed against women by tacitly shielding male assailants from receiving the full repercussions of their
The War Against Boys is the story of our cultural attack on the modern male. Twenty-first century men are looked down-upon, laughed at, and many times emasculated in our day-to-day lives. In her book, Christina Hoff Sommers does an excellent job reminding us that men are responsible for a lot of good in the world: “This book tells the story of how it has become fashionable to attribute pathology to millions of healthy male children. It is a story of how we are turning against boys and forgetting a simple truth: that the energy, competitiveness, and corporal daring of normal, decent males is responsible for much of what is right in the word.” Our culture has promoted a skewed view; most people believe that women are treated unfairly, that
Society typically excuses most behavioral-related slips ups among boys with the saying that “boys will always be boys”. However, if a girl were to commit the exact same mistake, nearly every bystander would be taken aback in shock. For example, Lewis describes an instance in which his three year old swore to an older boy who was teasing her sister (655). Lewis described this outburst as an occurrence that caused “all hell to break lose”, with parents stunned as to what they have just witnessed (655). On the contrary, if a boy were to act in a similar fashion observers would most likely overlook the situation, excusing it for ‘typical behavior among boys’. The general public considers swearing among boys to be socially acceptable, but if it were to be done by a female regardless of age it would be considered ‘improper’ and the female would be deemed as ‘ill brought up’. This difference between the socialization of young boys and girls creates a divide in the aspect of how children are brought up and expected to behave.
In today’s American society there seems to be an ever-growing pressure for young males to adopt the “tough guy” persona. The want to adopt such an identity can be rooted to the way media portrays male masculinity to young boys and pre-adolescent males. With an ever-increasing message of violence, hegemonic masculinity, and inferential sexism, being rooted in Television and films it seems young males are being wired to be view these characteristics as normal because of the cultivation theory. As Jackson Katz from “Tough Guise 2” argues, our epidemic of male violence is rooted in our inability as a society to break from an outmoded ideology of manhood.
Killbourne mentions, “Many boys grow up feeling that they are unmanly if they are not always “ready for action,” capable of and interested in sex with any woman who is available,” (285). The constant need for physical attention in pre-pubescent and teenage boys has always been in an issue that all generations have witnessed. Boys are pressured into lusty situations by their peers and peer pressure leads them in to what become habitual actions. Stalking, assault, affirmative action and other acts of degrading women are all actions that are completely avoidable when individuals are properly informed of consequences and how these actions can affect others, especially women. The news is a source filled with negative instances of gender-related which include domestic violence, rape, and many other violent
In today’s society, there is evidence that gender roles hold high standards in forming an identity, whether that gender is male or female. These standards put pressure on either gender to uphold them and commit to specific behaviors/actions that validate their very being. For men, this includes being considered masculine, or portraying the sense that they are authoritative over others, in which this includes displaying attitudes that contribute to female subordination. According to Pascoe (2016) in his article “Good Guys Don’t Rape” men are given the opportunity to challenge rape yet reinforce rape attitudes at the same time that are contained within rape culture and masculinity considered “norms.” Pascoe, illustrates that rape can be seen
Sexual violence is sometimes thought of as a natural part of life. That men have an inherit biological trait that predisposes them to violence and that it cannot be helped. The famous quote is “boys will be boys” meaning that men have no control over their actions and that if they sexual assault someone, that it is just human nature. This is in fact false. There is nothing in the biological makeup of males that can explain away sexual violence. It is a learned cultural behavior generated by gender norms and the medias perpetuation of sexual violence.
In the past century, America has made great leaps in terms of equality. With the efforts made by the civil rights and suffrage movements, all people gained the right to vote. We are even moving forward with marriage equality, and currently fifteen states recognize same-sex marriage. But regardless of all of our progressive institutional movements forward, we continue to socially oppress women. Men’s violence against women has grown to be an internationally recognized epidemic, and will continue to grow unless measures be made to stop it. Domestic violence continues to be prevalent in the lives of many families, and is the primary cause of homelessness in half of cases for women in children. Many women have been forced to alter their behaviors out of fear of being sexually or physically assaulted. One out of every three women is sexually or physically abused in their lifetimes. The first thing that comes to mind is, there are a lot of people abusing women out there. Many people with opposing ideas may claim that men can be victims of violence perpetrated by women, but in instances not used for self-defense, it is rarely part of a systematic pattern of power and control through force or threat of force. In fact, 99% of rape is perpetrated by men, but when confronting men about the issue of violence against women, it is often combated with denial. Jackson Katz writes in his book, The Macho Paradox, “We take comfort in the idea of the aforementioned child-rapist murderer as a horrible aberration. A monster. We’re nothing like him.”(Katz 30). The sad truth is that most women who are raped are raped by men they know, or even men they love. Many men have a hard time believing that saying that most violence is perpetuated by men does not...
... that occurs by men upon women is neither stopped nor prevented because our society has yet to decide whether it is within gender roles for a man to act this way or whether this violence must be changed. In society today, violence is accepted by some people, as a way to maintain control, which is why men still believe that sexism is the right way to act like the ideal man.
It is not a topic that is brought up often, especially at schools or at gatherings, yet it is crucial that everyone be educated, or at least informed on a topic that affects women every day. “Given that sexual violence continues to occur at high rates in the United States, it is vital that we understand attitudes and cultural norms that serve to minimize or foster tolerance of sexual violence” (Aosved, 481). Growing rates of sexual violence goes to prove that it is not taken seriously by many, especially when myths excuse the actions of the perpetrator and instead guilt victims into thinking they are responsible for the horrible act. Burt (1980), in her article titled, “Cultural myths and support for rape” attempts to make sense of the importance of stereotypes and myths, defined as prejudicial, stereotypes, or false beliefs about rape, rape victims and rapists- in creating a climate hostile to rape victims (Burt, 217). Examples of rape myths are such sayings as “only bad girls get raped”; “women ask for it”; “women cry rape” (Burt, 217). This only goes to prove that rape myths against women always blame and make it seem like it is the women’s fault she was raped and that she deserved it for “acting” a certain way. McMahon (2007), in her article titled, “Understanding community-specific rape myths” explains how Lonsway and Fitzgerald (1994) later described rape myths as “attitudes and beliefs that are generally
National data gives us an indication of the severity of this issue. When 1 in 5-woman report being victims of severe physical violence (NISVS, 2010), we must ask ourselves if enough is being done to prevent this from occurring. From a historical point, there has always almost been a distinction from men on woman violence. Based on the disparity of cases reported, male inflicted violence on females is much higher and prevalent. When the perpetrators of DV, and IPV are predominately males, we can no longer dismissed this issue as a cultural, or
‘Boys will be boys’, a phrase coined to exonerate the entire male sex of loathsome acts past, present, and potential. But what about the female sex, if females act out of turn they are deemed ‘unladylike’ or something of the sort and scolded. This double standard for men and women dates back as far as the first civilizations and exists only because it is allowed to, because it is taught. Gender roles and cues are instilled in children far prior to any knowledge of the anatomy of the sexes. This knowledge is learned socially, culturally, it is not innate. And these characteristics can vary when the environment one is raised in differs from the norm. Child rearing and cultural factors play a large role in how individuals act and see themselves.
Many of the attitudes, beliefs, and mistaken ideas about rape have been with us for centuries. By looking at myths, such as “women ask for it,” and “it would do some women good to get raped,” from a historical perspective, lead us for better understanding how they evolved. Women are still seen as the property of men, are protected as such. Men and women are still taught to occupy very different roles in today’s world. Men are usually more aggressive, and women are seen as passive. (Vogelman) This socialization process is changing, but slowly.
As a child develops, their surroundings have a major influence on the rest of their lives; if boys are taught to “man up” or never to do something “like a girl”, they will become men in constant fear of not being masculine enough. Through elementary and middle school ages, boys are taught that a tough, violent, strong, in-control man is the ideal in society and they beat themselves up until they reach that ideal. They have to fit into the “man box” (Men and Masculinity) and if they do not fulfill the expectations, they could experience physical and verbal bullying from others. Not only are friends and family influencing the definition of masculine, but marketing and toys stretch the difference between a “boy’s toy” and a “girl’s toy”. Even as early as 2 years old, children learn to play and prefer their gender’s toys over the other gender’s (Putnam). When children grow up hearing gender stereotypes from everyone around them, especially those they love and trust like their parents, they begin to submit themselves and experience a loss of individuality trying to become society’s ideal. If everyone is becoming the same ideal, no one has a sense of self or uniqueness anymore and the culture suffers from
Many of the attitudes, beliefs, and mistaken ideas about rape have been with us for centuries. By looking at myths, such as “women ask for it,” and “women secretly enjoy rape,” from a historical perspective, can lead us for better understanding how they evolved. Much stems back to the idea that women are still seen as the property of men, and are protected as such. Men and women are still taught to occupy very different roles in today’s world. Men a...
Several decades ago, communications philosopher Marshall McLuhan spoke about the development of the Global Village and how the evolution of new technologies would help connect people on opposite sides of the world, creating online communities that would break boundaries and borders. While this change has been recognized, so too has the idea explored by his successors in which while individuals were expected to look at others in the world through a telescope, they have alternatively developed the tendency to look at themselves through a microscope. As the era of worldwide connectivity began, so did the era of ‘me, me, me’. Both the hardware and the software of the new millennium, inclusive of the iPhone’s forward-facing camera, and apps that allow one to fix blemishes and whiten teeth, have adapted to allow this change to an inward focus. While this has certainly caught on, it has also begun to cause a lot of problems. The act of posting about the self began to be seen as a negatively self-centered one when Facebook NewsFeeds were filled with egotistic stories and ‘Selfies,’ photos of the self. Shortly after, the application Instagram was created, where the occurrence of the Selfie was magnified to a greater degree. This intensive focus inward, and the way these pieces of media are shared, have made some individuals reliant on the positive expressions of others for self-confidence and social approval. When self-esteem is intertwined with how many ‘likes’ a photo gets on a mobile application, we start to see a shift in how self-awareness is formed, what people will do for this approval, and how some will react to a lack of attention.