Are You Coddling Your 20 Something Child?
Young adults are more frequently moving back into their childhood homes. There are many reasons why these young adults would move back home. But is that really the best thing for them? What social and economic conditions could cause the transition into adulthood to delay? After reading Ground Rules for Boomerang Kids by John Miley and a book review from Publishers Weekly it is clear that the transition into adulthood is becoming more and more difficult as the years go on.
In John Miley’s Ground Rules for Boomerang Kids, his whole thesis is not to coddle your young adult. “Parents open their homes should establish for the stay and get regular progress reports” (Miley 1). This will help the parents show their children that moving back home will not be a permanent situation. Parents should make this clear from the beginning, this is not a permanent placing. “Parents should gradually turn up the heat,” (Miley 1). Young adults will need to be pushed into the real world as soon as their parents see them getting too comfortable at home. Moving back home should be an eye opener for the young adults, to show them that their childhood was a blessing, but they are not children anymore. Their adult life should be starting right now, yet they seem to move backwards. But they can not be
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coddled, adulthood is coming and they need to face reality. In the Book Review by Publishers Weekly, it gives many reasons as to why young adults move back to their childhood homes. “High unemployment rates, the rise of short-term employment, staggered birth rates, longer life expectancies and the high cost of living,have affected the younger generation’s transition to adulthood” (Publishers 1). This shows actual examples of why young adults move back home, with all those factors, how could they possibly be able to live on their own? This study has revealed how the definition of ‘adulthood’ is changing from the possession of external markers (a marriage, a home) to a psychological state, an understanding of one’s place in the world and one’s responsibilities (Publishers 1). With that being said, moving back home will help these young adults find their purpose in this world. These young adults are in denial, moving back home. They realize that they are now adults and must learn to be on their own, but some young adults can not handle the pressures, which is to be expected due to all those factors. Now while it is easy to say that moving back into your childhood home is a bad idea, for some it may just what they need before they handle life on their own. Not everyone can handle the pressures of being an adult and suddenly having to rely on yourself for all your basic needs. Like Publishers Weekly said, the high cost of living and low employment rates make it very hard to go straight from college to a career and a house. Most young adults can not face that reality. Young adults seem to have this dream in their head of moving straight from their college dorm to their two story, perfect little home with a pool. Our society puts too much pressure on these young adults. If moving into a house and getting married are signs of adulthood then obviously none of these kids are ready for that. If being an adult simply means finding your purpose and taking on new responsibilities then these young adults are ready for that. Society is trying to make these kids believe that if they can not move into their home, find a career, and get married right after college then of course these kids are scared and have to revert to moving back in with their parents. This issue is society’s fault, not the young adult’s. Young adults moving back home is certainly not the worst thing that young adults could be doing.
As long as parents are setting boundaries and making the young adults pay rent there should be nothing wrong with that lifestyle, just as long as it does not become a permanent one. Reading these excerpts have made realize that living at home is a luxury I would like to keep for now. These excerpts have also helped me realize that I should not be in such a rush to grow up and become an adult because I may be one those young adults that needs to move back home and live with their parents to save money and help myself transition from college to the real
world.
Going through the same thing every day can be comforting and change can create chaos in the everyday routine. After the youth leaves change will set in but will change the outcomes of the activities that occur. Some parents will enjoy the free time that has been presented and others will fade and not know what to do. Older generation parents have readjusted before and have had to change their life to incorporate the youth coming into their life; some transitions were easier than others. Some of the parents find that moving out of their community is not the way to change the pace of life that is occurring. Yet the change of moving would create a drastic change of pace; some of the parents in Ellis tell Carr and Kefalas, “They fear that the outside world will expect them to change too much of who and what they are” (21). Making a change would require something that most parents don’t have, and that would be wanting to leave. Most of the older generation are content with the life they have; yet the ability of having a change of pace is enticing.
Okpych, : Nathanael. "Policy Framework Supporting Youth Aging-out of Foster Care through College."Children Youth Service Review (2012): n. pag. Science Direct. Web.
In the article, “Facing Challenges Is Part of Growing Up,” Taylor Tepper, a reporter at Money, discusses the reasons for why delaying adulthood is not smart. In response, Jessica Grose, a journalist and novelist, explains her reasons for why it is smart to delay adulthood in her article, “For Many Millennials, Children Are Out of Reach”. Both Grose and Tepper wrote their articles for the opinions page in the New York Times. The use of ethos, pathos, and logos in Tepper’s article appeals more to the audience than Grose’s article, which focuses mainly on ethos and logos, because he is more likely to be trusted due to his use of personal experiences relevant to the topic of adulthood.
As a humbled and mature member of the Boomerang Generation (Burrell, n.d.) there has been an increase of adults moving back into their childhood homes. According to J. Burrell, “there are many reasons why this becomes necessary. The biggest cause in this latest generation was a stagnant economy that caused problems in the job market”. Through my experience and encounters with other boomerang members,
In conclusion, parents who hover over their children and do not give them space to breathe and lead more independent lives harm their kids while thinking that they are helping them. These parents might, in the real sense, be creating new long lasting problems for their kids, which could potentially be transferred to their grandchildren. Children need to learn to interact and engage in college and beyond while parents should stop hovering and give their children some space to experience life. In fact, it is said that love and independence are what every child needs to succeed in life, too much or too little of either and no child prospers. Therefore, parents should stop hovering in their children affairs and allow them to learn through experience.
All in all, this book relates to teens better than teens know. They think themselves above the conventional man and in doing so demean themselves in the eyes of those conventional men. It is extremely hard for any teen to admit that they were mistaken. It took Harvey many excruciating months to become aware of his follies. The fact that parents will look the other way when a young adult misbehaves or is in-polite is indicative of why they are this way. Any decent parent will discipline their child even when that child is grown. They will discipline their children through childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. The point is, however hard you may try, a young adult is malleable and what you do influences their future and insights. Without discipline and hard work they are being molded into adults who do not work and cannot follow direction.
For many teenagers, their 18th birthday is an exciting time in their lives. They are finally becoming a legal adult, and are free from the rules and restrictions created under their parents. But not all teens feel the same joy about this coming of age. For the hundreds of thousands of children living in foster care in the United States, this new found freedom brings anxiety and fear. Where will they live after turning 18? How will they get the medications they may need? How will they find a job with little to no experience? How will they put themselves through school? Aging out of foster care is a serious issue among America’s youth. Every year, 20,000 children will age out with nowhere to go, being expected to be able to survive on their own (Reilly 728). Young adults face various obstacles upon aging out of foster care, such as multiple health problems/issues, homelessness, and finding/maintaining a job.
American teenagers are often criticized for being irresponsible and immature. Some in the older generation will also state that kids are taking too long to move out of the house. These views of young adults are pessimistic and demeaning to the current generation. While the adolescent stage has been extended, American kids are taking an ample amount of time to accept the responsibilities of becoming an adult.
The transition from childhood to adulthood can be a harsh and difficult journey. As teenagers become young adults, they fall face first into a new and frightening world of—no longer feeling safe or sheltered.
The Sandwich Generation refers to middle –aged adult children, usually between the ages of 35 and 59, who find themselves taking care of their elderly parents along with their own adolescent children, often under the same roof. Multiple generations living under one roof is a common occurrence in other countries such as South Africa and India; it is only recently that it has been re-introduced as common in the United States. Factors such as today’s economic state, home foreclosures, the declining job market, single parent households and the increase in life expectancy are a few key factors that have contributed to the rise in multi-generational households in the United States. Why have these types of living arrangements become some popular? Multi-generational households are often formed for financial reasons but in turn provide for a stronger, mutually beneficial relationship between generations.
There has been an increase in high paying jobs that require young people to have a higher education in developing countries that are enhancing and integrating to global economy. Technology is another factor that is becoming more prevalent in these under developed countries. It’s becoming less common for young people to go out and do agricultural work to support the family financially, as many parents rather support and make it easier for their children to go to school. These entire factors can eventually open up all the possibilities for more and more emerging adults to experience life and explore their independence, as countries become wealthier chances are that more young people can go to school and move in to a dorm and have a semi independent lifestyle until they reach adulthood. This can benefit our future generations to come and potentially increase the life expectancy and become achievable adults that live a longer and prosperous life. This will be a new evolution for the young people now and the young people to come, this means more educated people, which call change the way our jobs, economy, and development of our countries can be. More young people will explore their horizons and develop to be the best they can be instead of being forced to work a full time low paying job and hit a dead end. Perhaps one day the new
When Dr. Arnett suggested a new period of life-span has occurred he dubbed it “Emerging Adulthood”. Fascinating enough was the fact that although social backgrounds changed, and economic prospects
Being forced to move back home after college graduation is one of many obstacles students face while getting accustomed to the new debt they inherit after school. Imagine, upon graduation of high school the excitement one must feel about finally being away from the watchful eye of mama and papa bird. Headed to college to live on their own, freedom to be an adult and make decisions as such. If lucky enough to be one of the one’s who will make it through the entire four years of higher learning with a degree, evidence of long nights, dedication, and hard work, great rewards are expected, right? Wrong, many students in modern society will be met with a harsh reality and be bound to the nest which they took flight from four years prior. Student loans will become the new chain holding them captive to their parents. Unable to afford to live independently right after college graduation is a price some must pay for pursuing higher education.
Moving into adulthood comes with its challenges for any teen. Of the 300,000 youth in foster care, the 25,000 currently facing transition experience even more challenges. Most youth leaving the foster care system do not receive enough support to succeed while living independently. Youth that have been placed in the foster care system are more likely to be imprisoned, unemployed, and uneducated. Together, those three things often lead to homelessness. These kids are thrown into a system that they do not understand, leaving them unprepared for the challenges that adult life includes. The issue is whether or not the foster care system provides a sufficient transitional living program for youths that are beginning to age out of the system (Courtney).
One reason for an adult child to return back home could be due to the fact that they could not find a job. A reason for this is because baby boomers refuse to retire and will not leave the job market leaving very little room for millennials to get a job. Which is a big issue, because once out of the teen years and into the mid twenties, parents will not be there to support as much anymore since an individual in the age range of late teens to mid twenties is expected to support themselves and if someone does not have a job to get a steady income, supporting themselves will be