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Why Thirst
John 4:13 states “Jesus answered, Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
Why Thirst
I grew up in a church congregation that taught of God’s vengeance and not of God’s love. I spent the majority of my pre-teen, teen and adult years in fear of God. In fear of what would happen when I sinned. And of course I did sin. Instead of asking God for forgiveness for what I deemed unforgivable sins, I figured in my own mind, that since I was going to Hell, I might as well continue to sin. Today, I will share with you my life choices, my life circumstances and the plan that God had all along for my life to serve him.
I Thirsted
The summer before I went to fifth grade, my family moved. I was taken out of my comfort zone with my friends I had since before kindergarten and moved to an unknown. My Mom and Dad wanted me to be in a better school and since my mother worked for the Board of Education, she knew the school system she wanted me to be in. The neighborhood we had just moved to had just begun to be segregated. That year I was called the “N” word for the first time and really the only time I could think of. I did find a friend before school started. This friend and my choice to remain her friend would begin to mold my life early on.
The funny thing is the harder I try, I cannot seem to remember my “friends” name. She moved within the first year of my being there and besides I have a horrible memory. We played with each other over the summer and went to school in the fall. Within the first week one of the “popular” girls told me that if I continued to be friends with this girl, I could not be in the crowd because they did not like this girl. I selected friendship over popularity and this affected my self esteem for the rest of my school years. The popular people begin avoiding me and out and out calling me names. They would taunt me telling me how ugly I was, how my face was filled with pimples, how I was smelly, how I looked like a giraffe, and so on.
6th grade was not all that bad. That is before the incident however. Going to school was fun for the most part, the classes were difficult, friends were plenteous, and the food was good. Life at Lancaster Country Day School was swell, again, before the incident. Now, said issue somewhat killed my image at the school and saved it at the same time; it also made me question others. Were my friends really my friends? Or did they use me to as a sick and twisted way to formulate drama? I had a friend. I had many friends really, I was friends with the whole 50 people in my grade. But this friend, this friend was different. Her name Mady Gosselin. Yes, the Mady Gosselin from Kate Plus 8. We had been close, I talked to her almost every day. However,
I wanted to wear brand clothes/shoes they did, I wanted to do my hair like them, and make good grades like them. I wanted to fit in. My cultural identify took a back seat. But it was not long before I felt black and white did not mix. I must have heard too many comments asking to speak Haitian or I do not look Haitian, but more than that, I am black, so I always had to answer question about my hair or why my nose is big, and that I talked white. This feeling carried on to high school because the questions never went away and the distance between me and them grew larger. There was not much action my family could take for those moments in my life, but shared their encounters or conversations to show me I was not alone in dealing with people of other background. I surrounded myself with less white people and more people of color and today, not much has
As a kid, I didn’t understand what race meant or its implications. I was pretty much oblivious to it. Race meant getting some kids together and running a foot race. The one who made it to the end of the block won. I never felt that I was special because of my race. Nor did I feel discriminated against. Of course, I was sheltered from race and racism. I never knew any people of color because I grew up in an all-white, lower-to-middle-class blue-collar neighborhood. I never encountered someone of another race, and my parents made sure of it. I wasn’t allowed outside of our own neighborhood block, as my mother kept a strong leash on me. Not until I was much older did I wander outside the safety net of our all-white neighborhood.
The Jordan River is a place desired to visit by Christians and people whom practice their faith. A baptism by water signifies purity and regeneration into the Christian church. There are different styles of undergoing a baptism. Some people are submerged under water, while others might only get sprinkled with water on their forehead. Baptisms are celebrated with the church, immediate family and friends. There is not a required age someone must be to get baptized. Water is also referred to Gods word in the Bible. God refers to water as a cleanser “I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols” (The Bible). Water is significant because it provides a sense of deliverance to
Growing up a black female in a black neighborhood. I went to school with not much diversity in my elementary, middle school nor high school.
Soon, after I had settled into my house in Sterling Heights, elementary school started. When school started I didn’t know how to speak English so I was put in ESL, English Second language, where I would go for a half a day. This process was not easy, because I was so young. Everywhere I went there was someone new around me. My first year I was the quiet girl that didn’t talk to anyone. During fourth grade, I stopped going to the English Second Language school and just attended my regular public school. During the transition from third grade to fourth grade, I started to become more comfortable with the people and started to participate
I met new people and also made new friends my own age. Throughout kindergarten, I do not believe that there was a lot of gender classification. I knew that the males were boys and that the females were girls based on their clothing and some mannerisms, but we were all taught the same lessons and participated equally in activities. My home life at this time was somewhat rocky. I knew that my mother and my little sisters loved me, but their father showed aggravation towards me. He did treat me differently and it made me feel bad about myself because I did not know what I had done wrong. I learned at an early age what discrimination was, although I did not have a term for it at that time. However, I did feel discriminated against by Tom who was the man my mother was with at the
A friend once told me that she lived in fear of god - she didn't understand why it was a sin to kill someone who tries to kill her or swear or anything; she just feared that if god existed, she would go to hell for living outside the ten commandments. Although in her mind she dreamed of playful sin, her emotions could not understand that god, if he existed, might just accept her questioning, appreciate her vitality, and welcome her open-armed to whatever death is. And she never understood when I tried to explain that this here, this very moment, this day, year, life, this is my heaven and what comes after is for after's breath. She didn't see that my moral code is solid, that most of us sinners are unbelievably trustworthy becaus...
...friends” then they would interpret my words differently and make me look like a bad person. Rumors were spread, arguments took place, and I lost those two friends because they couldn’t treat me right. I learned to not be friends with anyone who might spread rumors about me or that might be too easily offended. I found out that the popular kids can be mean sometimes. I was made fun of for my oversized sweater. The sweater used to belong to my older cousin whom I admired. I didn’t know why they thought it looked funny when I believed it was the best piece of clothing I ever owned. The popular group taught me to keep dressing the way I want. Then my attire could make the girl upset and I would be the one comfortable at school. Therefore, my peers taught me about life and myself. This group affected me because I learned to not fall under the norms and make my own trends.
When the end of my 5th grade year had hit; A land mark of the most traumatizing event of my life was about to take place. My mom had left my father and took us along with her. Over the summer and a few addit...
It felt as though I didn’t fit in with the “popular” crowd. Because I wasn’t one of the “popular kids,” I was an easy target for bullying. I was judged by several of my fellow students because I was heavier than others. The continuous teasing from everyone made it hard to establish and build on my confidence. I tried to laugh off the jokes that were thrown my way, but internally, I was critiquing my appearance. I tried to change my eating habits, but I was never successful. It became a challenge to go to school because I was worried about things that might be said to me. Throughout the rest of middle school, I was constantly pestered until high school approached. The summer before high school began, I made a decision. I decided I wanted to change
The first day I walked into class I was stared at from head to toe by all these kids. Some laughed and whispered to other students. I had my hair braided and was wearing very bagy looking pants and a RBD shirt(mexican pop singers) , as I sat down a girl who was white asked me if I spoke english. I immediately looked at her and said “yes.” she turns back to her friends and say “doesn’t sound like it”I had felt so embarrassed and ashamed of myself.I didn’t have any friends the first school year , I was labeled as the “bean girl”. I had rarely ever spoke or interacted in class because , of how embarrassed I was on the person who I was. My grades started going down and I would get in trouble by the teacher for not interacting. I was constantly bullied by fellow classmates and at times they would intended to get me in trouble for things I never did.I was lost and confused at such a young age. These girls were picking on me just for being the person I was for
It was the second semester of fourth grade year. My parents had recently bought a new house in a nice quite neighborhood. I was ecstatic I always wanted to move to a new house. I was tired of my old home since I had already explored every corner, nook, and cranny. The moment I realized I would have to leave my old friends behind was one of the most devastating moments of my life. I didn’t want to switch schools and make new friends. Yet at the same time was an interesting new experience.
and a rise to a new life as a Christian. Water is used to cleanse and
In six grade, I had to interact with other kids. I slowly learned that I could talk to them, by the middle of the year. The learning in that class in the middle of the school year wasn’t the greatest. I learned a lot and grew a lot during that year, from being scared in the beginning of having friends in the end of the year. I had a great teacher named Mrs. Sandoval who really gave me the help I needed.