Bell Desire And Power Summary

Desire and Power are both big parts of Bell’s essay. Desire had a big impact on the women Bell interviewed because it played a key role in what they wanted out of their relationships. Their were two types of desire— sexual or relational. Sexual desire was either something they repressed and viewed as bad and a feeling they shouldn't have or it was something the woman were not ashamed of expressing to their partners. Relational desire was often spoken about when women knew what they wanted in a relationship or if they were confused about what they wanted. Power was another emotion that affected the women in Bell’s study. Women either felt that they had the power and were in control of their thoughts and emotions and could express themselves

freely without concern of jeopardizing the relationship. If the women felt that they lacked power and their partners had the control the women would repress their true feelings and desires from the relationship.
Desire and power both work with Bell’s concept of splitting because this is the time when the women are told they can be free to explore their sexual needs and to not be bound by marriage and children but after each year goes by they are also told they need to settle down and have a family before it’s to late. This struggle makes it difficult for women to experience this new found freedom without worrying about finding a partner to start a family with. They are told by various magazines and television shows to have fun and experience life but then are told the exact opposite from different magazines. They worry that they wont be able to have a long lasting relationship if they are too aggressive or too passive. It is hard for women to find a balance between sexual desires and relational desires while still being in control and maintaining their own identity.
For example Jayanthi was one women that Bell studied that had little conflict over sexual desires but when it came to relationships, Jayanthi worried about being in a relationship because she feared she would lose her own identity. After many sexual encounters Jayanthi became the women who played the men and used them for her own personal needs and always made sure not to get emotionally involved. On the other hand, Alicia, a different case study, was someone who had little difficulty in expressing her relational desires but had troubles with her sexual desires. Alicia felt that in order to maintain a healthy and long lasting relationship she would have to hold herself back from expressing her desires to men. She viewed that in order to have a healthy relationship she would have to split her sexual desires and her relationship goals.