So you want to become instantly likeable? That's your problem to begin with; you are too impatient and apparently unwilling to put in the time and effort to do things correctly. This could be a possible reason for your feeling disliked? If you desire to be liked you have to do it the old fashion way, with time and effort. I suggest you get rid of the idea of “instant’ except instant coffee and learn how to put in the work to achieve what you want. Below you will find a number of ways to become likeable, I suggest you work on some or all to improve your likeability. 1. Become a Good Listener: We’ve all been told to be a good listener, and assume that “listening” requires a response. But we never stop to think that the speaker may wish to talk …show more content…
Don’t Be Pushy: I went on a trip a few months ago and remember how my colleague told me he didn’t have extravagant tastes. What was he really saying with that statement? To begin with, he’s not selfish and won’t push his own preferences. He’ll eat at any restaurant and listen to virtually any kind of music. That makes him likable because he will adjust to almost any situation. Be careful not to overdo, as being too accommodating can make you look needy. 10. Admit Weakness: When you can admit to weaknesses it makes you more likable. People figure your weaknesses out anyway, so why try and hide them? Of course, it’s important not to act like a victim or share your problems with just anyone. At work, it’s okay to go into a meeting and lead with the challenges you’re facing. People are more likely to recommend a few solutions, come to your aid, or even pat you on the back. 11. Don’t Be Judgmental: One of the most Important things to keep in mind when meeting someone for the first time is to inquire about their thoughts and opinions. Ask questions, listen, but never judge. Nobody enjoys being judged, least of all by people they don’t know well. Studies indicate people receive more pleasure from talking about themselves than almost any other
James C. Petersen (2007), author of Why Don’t We Listen Better, offers practical advice on how to communicate effectively and connect with others. In order to help his readers, communicate effectively, Petersen (2007) divides his book into five divisions. Each division builds on the content in the preceding portions. Every segment provides a great amount of information, which will aid people in how they choose to communicate.
We were provided the possibility to gain a better and newer understanding of the subject by practicing our listening skills and conducting these practical exercises. While we took on the role of an active listener, it was important to show a deeper understanding of both positive and negative features that the speaker had to deal with in the speaker-listener interaction. It was important that the listener made the speaker feel comfortable with what they were saying and that active feedback was provided to the speaker. Undertaking the active listening sessions, it was clear to me that I had to pay my full attention to the speaker. A good listener will focus their attention in a way that they can easily pick up non-verbal cues (McKay, 2011).
As an engaged listener during in person conversations, I know I need to do a better job of listening, lettering the other person talk, and allowing wait time before I reply. Currently, I have created a bad habit of trying to finish other people’s sentences. Although this may show the other person I am talking to that I am listening, I do need to avoid interrupting them.
A vital aspect of interpersonal communication is the style in which one listens. While every individual possesses their own preferred method of listening in communication, it can be enlightening to analyze our own strengths and weaknesses so as to maximize effectual communication. Within the confines of four main listening style categories, I have chosen those which best describe my own personal listening style.
Talking and listening are essential life skills. The ability to talk in order to communicate and exchange ideas and information, to negotiate with others, to express feelings and emotions, allows human beings to function well in the world and to be full and active members of society. Communication, to be effective, requires the ability to listen, to understand and to make sense of what is heard. On the personal level, when we listen, we give attention to the other person in such a way as to allow them to feel heard, understood and therefore respected. In that way, listening is more than just functional, it matters in the building and maintaining of family life, in communities and in society as a whole. Our ability to talk and listen begins in childhood when we start to develop these important skills. There are factors which will enhance this opportunity, and factors which are not helpful.
Stephen R. Covey—an American educator, author, businessman, and keynote speaker—mentioned that before anyone want to effectively interact with other people, they must first listen with the intend to understand the speaker, both intellectually and emotionally. This is listed as his habit 5. Yet, “you’ve spent years of your life learning how to read and write, years learning how to speak. But what about listening?” [covey] This is no easy task. It can take up to an entire life time of a human being to master this skill as most people nowadays mainly think about themselves or look at everything only with their own perspective. I am also belong to this group of people. To be honest, this is my worst habit among all seven habits that Dr. Covey pointed out in his book. However, this paper includes the plans that I have for the next 30 days in order to change this habit and become more effective
Celeste Headlees’ TED video, "How to Have a Good Conversation," taught me to throw out my old listening rules and take note on these new steps. I enjoyed Headlees’ simplistic steps because they are things you should actually be doing in an interview. From the TED Talk video, we learned often times we aren't actually listening. The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to respond. I think the act of listening is the most important step to having a good conversation.
As a professional in today’s society, it is greatly important to be able to communicate effectively with other professionals, with clients, and with those that are encountered in daily living. In order to communicate in a proper manner, not only is talking and non-verbal communication, but a large aspect is the ability to listen. Listening is a vital task in order to build a relationship and find meaning in someone else’s words. In order to find this meaning one must follow the characteristics of active listening, face the challenges to listening, and reflect upon one’s own listening skills.
Listening is a behavioral skill that takes practice and it can be lost if not used regularly. In early years, listening is taught, a way to show respect with undivided attention to the person who is speaking. But a good listener is someone who takes time to respond with an empathetic response, despite the mood of the speaker and ask questions to keep the conversation going. A good listener comes with certain qualities like empathetic, caring, and attentive. Listening is not used as a way to connect with people and sustain relationships, it is used for simple tasks; today, listening is affected by selective attention, digital distraction, and simply
• Learning to listen will help you in many aspects of not only your personal life but it can be a very strong aide on your professional life.
The interpersonal communication skill of listening is can be defined as the manner of receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding to verbal and/or nonverbal messages. (DeVito 2011) The skill of listening is a crucial element in any form of social interaction particularly within the workplace. A five-stage plan has been produced that integrates all the main skills involved within listening. Listening involves many different skills: attention and concentration (1); learning (2); memory (3), critical thinking (4) and lastly, feedback. By implementing these skills in listening you can develop your ability to be a strong listener. (DeVito 2011).
1)Active Listening: Giving full attention to what other people are saying, taking time to understand the points been made, asking questions as appropriate, and not interrupting at inappropriate times.
Everyone has a weakness and at some point in life we have to eventually overcome it in order to become better. Having the right mindset can turnover any kind of flaw and having to use them for your own benefit. Recognizing your imperfection is the first step. Recuperate your weakness by saying how you could possibly fortify it. Focusing on your weakness more other than your strength will possibly lower your self-esteem, taking you to the wrong direction. Putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation can help improve in the areas you’re more deficient on.
I am a very shy person. I do not like speaking out in front of people.
In the matter of me being too nice, I have found that through high school and my time in college I always have been seen as the “nice guy.” Everyone has always seen me as the nice guy. Sometimes it is aggravating to be called that but I rather have that than some other name with a negative connotation. Some friends have introduced me to there friends as “Alex the nice guy,” which totally limits me in the very beginning of our relationship.