Be Specific With Your Feedback, By Peter Bregmans Analysis

What if there was one phrase that could dampen hopes? What if there was one phrase that could rock worlds? What if there was one phrase that could destroy dreams? Would you use it?
There is all kinds of feedback, and not all feedback is created equal. Peter Bregman writes that silence is the worst, most damaging kind of feedback. But what if there was something worse? Yes, silence can be very damaging but sometimes vagueness can be just as crippling. Nothing is worse than getting a complement or even a criticism that can not be deciphered.
That was good. All of us have been subjected to this phrase at some point in our life. It is probably the most used phrase when it comes to giving a compliment or feedback. However, this is probably the worst way to do so. “Be specific with your feedback.”(Celes) That was good is anything but specific. This phrase does not convey what was enjoyed by the experience or any feeling other than a lack of complete hatred toward the experience. 171,476 words encompass the english language. If someone really wanted to convey how they felt about a performance or any activity there is plenty of words to choose from besides “good”. The lack of specificity and details is demoralizing for those who receive them. It

is hard to tell weather the compliment is genuine or if it is just an involuntary response that has been engrained in our minds.
Receiving this piece of feedback is much like receiving a participation trophy.

Every parent gives it to their child, every counselor tells their kids they are doing a good job and are good kids. It does not matter how well they really are doing. It is the phrase that says “thanks for playing. You showed up and hit the bar minimum.” How is saying that a complement? What is basically being said is that after all those hours of work and all the effort that went into making that performance what it was, it was good but not good enough. That is enough to discourage anyone. To make them wonder if they tried hard enough, if there was something more they could do, or maybe if they should have chosen this path in the first

place.
There are many reasons that people use this phrase. Most prevalent among them would be because it is easy to say. One doesn’t have to pay attention to what they are watching or particularly care about it either to use this phrase. Someone could fall into a coma wake up at the end of the performance and say it was good. Someone could say a movie was good and not have seen it. People can get away with this because the expression is so vague that no one would know if they had really seen the performance or if they had cared about it at all.
The biggest culprit to use this is parents. Every parent dreams of their child being the star athlete or performer. But once little Johnny strikes out, runs the wrong way, trips over his own feet, or kicks the ball in his own net, at this point his parents will resort to “that was good”. They will hope that Johnny will get better so they can forget about theses experiences but until then everything he does will continue to be “good”.
No one remembers the “good” things. Everyone remembers the exemplary actions. We all know this. So the next time you want to give a compliment or feedback of any kind make sure it is more than a “good” complement.