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How to find happiness essay
Parent-child relationship topics
Introduction how happiness can be achieved
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Relationships are the foundation for the society we live in. They exist everywhere and relationships are not confined to be strictly romantic. Whether it be with your roommate or your parent, everyone that you have a connection with, you also have a relationship with. With each relationship you will encounter “a unity of opposites,” known as dialectical tensions, which will either break that relationship apart or build it further (Baxer 2004). I will be analyzing the relationship with the person I have experienced the most tensions with over the course of the last seven years, my mother. One of the largest dialectical tensions that almost every parent-child relationship faces is the Autonomy and Connectedness dialectic. Autonomy and Connectedness …show more content…
While this was occurring I didn’t look for a solution nor make any compromises. I took on the attitude that “this is what I want and I want to have it—why can’t she understand that?” I took on the selection strategy, choosing only to satisfy my dialectical need for independence. This significantly hurt our relationship and more so her feelings. But it wasn’t until I moved away from the house and into college life that I began to have a different outlook on our relationship. It took me having distance from this relationship to realize the importance of it and the affects I was having on her. This is when I decided to make compromises in order to sustain a healthy relationship with the person who champions me most in life. Choosing the neutralization strategy helped out relationship tremendously. We ended up talking the situation out and I agreed to tell her more about my life and she agreed to give me the space I needed. I met her need of being connected, knowing a little bit about my life, while she met my need of being autonomous, allowing me to have my space. With neutralization I didn’t fully meet her needs and she didn’t fully meet my needs, but the balance we found was perfect, the balance we found was harmonious. Had I approached the situation with the neutralization strategy early on, the tension would have ended sooner and smoother. But, I would have never learned the process on reaching that
Never become complacent and let my interpersonal relationship becomes stagnant, which can lead to resentment and conflict. Weighing the cost verses the rewards may not always be the solution for my relationship; simply, because the cost may ultimately outweigh the rewards. The need for autonomy can have reverse effects and may not lead to the closeness that’s expected. In, turn the very thing that, I try to be open about in my relationship can inadvertently cause me to protect my feelings in the
his own life how he wishes, even if it will damage health or lead to
Whatever the problem is within the relationship, if a desire to work things out is mutually apparent, there is hope. Ideally, these concepts should be understood, practiced and maintained throughout the relationship, but many of us may find ourselves slipping into a place that we had never expected, nor desired to be. There are relationships that last a lifetime with the power and spark just as strong as it was, if not stronger than in the beginning. We must learn how to understand and respect each other in deep and meaningful ways that encompass all aspects of our humanity, that is, should be desire happiness, satisfaction and content. We want companionship and we want happiness; how do we satisfy these two desires simultaneously? They were installed in our make up to work together, for one to be the means to the other. But, we are still left in an imperfect world, where nothing remains as perfect as we may be led to believe that it can be.
Expanding on Chodorow analysis of the mother-daughter relationship using Hegel’s master-slave dialectic (Hegel, 1801, cited in Benjamin, 1988) and Winnicott’s transitional space and theory of destruction (Winnicott, 1974, cited in Benjamin, 1988), Benjamin commits to moving beyond a model of internalisation to a truly intersubjective one involving two subjects. She explains how the child needs to achieve independence and be recognised as independent, paradoxically by the people she is the most dependent on. True independence means sustaining the essential tension of these contradictory impulses; that is both asserting the self and recognising the other. Domination is the consequence of refusing this condition, beginning with an attempt at denying dependency, an inability to relinquish omnipotence, an alienated form of differentiation happening in the relationship and missed by intrapsychic
In Andrew Solomon’s, Far from a Tree, the author explains the identity of children and why it can be difficult for parents to understand their child. A child is passed on different physical traits because of genetics. When a parent looks at their child, Solomon states the parents, “often see themselves,” and will surround the child with the type of environment they prefer. However, even though the child is raised in an environment chosen by the parents, their emotional identity branches out and the child grows to be independent. Solomon describes how the relationship between the parent and the child may at times be difficult when the parent is unable to understand their child.
The idea of Individualism can be traced all the way back to England before America’s existence. As we know, individualism has been interpreted in many forms throughout history. The 19th century is no different, taking hold of its own idea of individualism, called transcendentalism. Transcendentalism suggests freedom should not be confined to those focused on money and superficial gains. Instead, people should depend on no one but themselves. This movement focused on “greater individualism against conformity” (Corbett et al.). Heavily influenced by the Romantic period, transcendentalism adopted the belief that reason was more important than logic as Benjamin Franklin has believed. Reason must also include unique emotion and spirit (Corbett et
Every once in awhile life can sweep you off your feet. You can get caught up in the currents of your daily life. It’s easy to spot inconsistencies in others living situations, but it’s pretty hard to take the microscope off your life and turn it to yourself. The imperfections and highs in our relationships are what make each situation unique. But sometimes these imperfections can turn into something harmful to the people in it. Once you identify the problem the true test of your ideology is acting upon, and trying to fix the issue. You finding and liberating yourself in the relationship is put lightly, strenuous. It takes so much courage and faith to do so but, once you do it’s nothing compared to the joy and freedom you will feel. As Leslie
Parental involvement in children’s lives comes in a variety of ways, and the idea of how involved parents should be may vary with different
The concept analysis of autonomy will be analyzed according to the Walker and Avant method of concept analysis. Walker and Avant (2005) present a strategy for analyzing concepts in a comprehensive manner to present new theories and a common definition for different concepts. The current as well as historical meaning is an important aspect to analyze the concept of autonomy, as one must understand how one simple four syllable word grew into such a powerful concept. Definitive attributes drawn from the concept mapped for future use as well as case study as outlined by Walker and Avant (2005). The necessary attributes are then plugged into model, borderline, related and contrary cases so that full concept involvement and understanding is determined. Antecedents as well as consequences of the concept are also discussed for positive and negative connotations can clarify the meaning of the concept of autonomy. Finally the empirical referents of actual phenomena can be realized as Walker and Avant (2005) strive to explain and simplify the concept analysis.
This poem has captured a moment in time of a dynamic, tentative, and uncomfortable relationship as it is evolving. The author, having shared her thoughts, concerns, and opinion of the other party's unchanging definition of the relationship, must surely have gone on to somehow reconcile the situation to her own satisfaction. She relishes the work entailed in changing either of them, perhaps.
In order for higher education institutions (HEIs) to be more effective and efficient, which caused changes in the governance system, states all over the globe have recently been changing their steering mechanisms from input oriented to output and outcome oriented; from ex ante to ex post; from controlling to supervising (Ziegele, 2008). In so doing, states provide HEIs with substantial autonomy so as to make them autonomous to make decisions in various aspects of the spectrum. However, since they are not operating in a vacuum, states require them to be accountable to the government/tax payers and/or other stakeholders in which they are dependent on. They are required to show concrete results for the resources they use. These autonomy and accountability are the main issues that constitute the state-HEIs relationships.
Achieving personal autonomy to me means to have an interest for own personal achievements in life. It is the freedom to live your own life as you please. As young children we learn to follow people who we trust make decisions for us, but as we become adolescence we start wanting to make decisions for ourselves. That is where personal autonomy comes into play, as we mature taking control of our own life in a way that we want to live can create an inner happiness; no one wants anyone to control their life. We may have people who love and care for us that may give advice about what choices we should make in life simply because they want the best for us, but at the end of the day we make our own decisions which reflect the way we live (Koestner, R. 2008).
I mean in today’s relationships is kind of the same. It’s always one tries to save a relationship while the other just don’t seems to care. It happened to me once where I tried to save my relation but it didn’t work out. It only takes a little argument to break the relationship of several years.
But my current relationship is everything that I want, we are there for each other emotionally, passionately, and intimately. I plan to ask her to marry me this September. We have been living together for almost a year, and every “fight” if you want to call them fights are very easy to overcome because we both know how to communicate if something that the other person has done has bothered us we handle it when it happens and do not wait and let it boil. I learned many relationship skills when I used to run a teaching a Domestic violence class also known as PAIP in Illinois. We met on Plenty of Fish which is a dating site.
While most parents realize there are normal struggles between parents and teens as their sons and daughters struggle for independence and identity, they are often shocked by the length and intensity of the conflict. They are stunned by apparent rejection of some of their most sacred values and confused by their teenagers "acting up" and "acting out." In attempting to become psychologically independent of their parents, teens often attempt to move completely away from any control or influence by their parents.