Analysis Of 'Out Of The Fog'

According to Out of the FOG, normalizing is often done by the abuser to the abused to ensure the abused assume behavior towards them is reasonable. Abusers typically convinces the abused it is because they care, or want the best for them. In abusive relationships, we see numerous abuse tactics such as controlling what the person looks like, controlling eating habits & name calling as well as controlling thoughts and emotions. Why then, when done by society, it is seen as "concern" simply because the "mentally ill," people who are not thin enough or "pretty enough" are not the same as "us".

Society wrongly has the opinion that people who are not thin, beautiful, or sane must be shamed in order to fit in with the "acceptable" people. When these

techniques are executed to someone who harmonizes with society's standards it is abuse, but when those same techniques are used by someone to someone who doesn't "fit in" it is seen by society as "concern" and "love." This is especially proven in relationships where an abuser tells a person who may be pretty, thin and sane they can only eat certain things, or think certain thoughts. or look a certain way the abuse is evident. However, if a fat, mentally ill, ugly person is told they should only eat certain things, think (or not think) certain thoughts, or get plastic surgery it is unfortunately seen as perfectly acceptable. Society normalizes abuse by believing the abuser is "showing how much they care," or "trying to help." No matter how "crazy, " a person may be, or what body type a person is, he or she is ALWAYS allowed to his or her own thoughts and his or her own body without shame. He or she is allowed to the freedom of his or her own body without experiencing emotional abuse from others to "fit in."

As a society, we tend to think it is acceptable to shame a person into getting therapy, plastic surgery to fix their ugly looks, losing weight, Normalization of abuse happens when society decides anything that is unacceptable is acceptable to punish because it is undesirable to the community around us. A sentence that stuck out for me was "The motivation could be anything: money, sex, grades, acceptance, favor, or the promise of love."

Out of the FOG also states that tactics such as minimizing feelings (or a person's right to listen to their body's cues) are signs of abuse. Yet in society, we claim it is acceptable for someone who is mentally ill , fat or ugly to tolerate this behavior from others. We normalize abuse by making people believe these abusive tactics are what is best for them. As an illustration, when people bullied Kylie Jenner to the point of her getting plastic surgery was perfectly accepted by everyone because it's "tough love."

We normalize abuse by telling people who do not subscribe to the definition of what is acceptable in a society that they will not be loved, this is abuse. We tell people to lose weight or to get psychiatric help or to be happy in order to receive love, acceptance, trust. Something ALL people should be able to have since it is one of our basic needs. "Love yourself first before anyone else can" type statements ARE normalizing abuse and verbal abusive statements. If I can't love myself I am not allowed to be loved? The only way I am allowed the reward of being loved back is if I fit into a standard that, for me, might be unachievable.