Death is an inevitable process that every being must in endure in their lifetime. The loss of a family member or close friend can shower the survivors with numerous emotions. Despite the emotions, grieving the loved one is a natural process in which helps with coping and healing. The short story “By-and-By”, by Amy Bloom uses symbolism and imagery to demonstrate how a person navigates through the fluctuating, short-term, or long-lasting stages of grief. The nonlinear chronology of the story complicates the reader’s comprehension of the narrator’s grieving process.
Amy Bloom begins her literature piece, “By-and-By” with this short phrase “Every death is violent.” (526) From this point on the reader is lead to believe that this will be a dark
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story. A story full of sorrow, sadness, and tragedy. As the narrator continues throughout the story, she continuously shifts from past and present tense. In paragraph twelve the narrator states, “Mrs. Warburg and I only talk about Anne in passing and only about Anne in the past.” (526) It appears that both women have accepted the fact that Anne is no longer coming back. Then in paragraph twenty-seven, it appears that both the narrator and Mrs. Warburg are hanging on to the hope that Anne will be found alive. “I told Mrs. Warburg my psychic didn’t know anything either.” (528) The idea of going to a psychic is to try to find answers to unanswered questions. Anne has been missing four days, and the last time the narrator saw her, was when Anne was leaving their apartment. She was going on a camping trip with her boyfriend Teddy Ross. Eugene Trask took Teddy and Anne, while they were loading up Teddy’s van Eugene stabbed Teddy twice in the heart. After the murder, Eugene made his escape in Teddy’s car and took Anne along with him. In the meantime, Anne’s mother, father and her roommate are worried about her disappearance. Denial is a natural response that a human being goes through when they are notified of a loved one’s passing.
Death is beyond human understanding, “as iris, the rainbow of the eye, closes down” all hope is lost in that particular moment of despair. A human’s natural response is to avoid confronting their fears of death. Bloom demonstrates this natural response with the use of imagery and metaphor. “It seems natural, if you are there, to push the lid down, to ease the pleated shade over the ball, to the lower lashes. The light is out, close the door.” (526) By closing a deceased human’s eyelids, it is imagined that the door to their soul is closed.
The narrator and Anne’s mother are having a telephone conversation. They are both speaking about Anne in present tense, even though there is very little hope that she will be found alive.
“I told her Anne had spray-painted some of our third-hand furniture bright gold and when we lit the candles and turned out the lights, our apartment looked extremely glamorous.” “Oh we love glamorous,” Mrs. Warburg said.” (527)
An additional phrase where the narrator expresses her feelings of denial is when she envisions a funeral scene. She visualizes Teddy dead and Anne standing right next to the grave. She tries to convince herself that since Teddy is dead then Anne must be alive. Anne’s mother and the narrator meet with two distinct psychics, perhaps to get answers or gain some hope that Anne is still
alive. Another stage is depression, the narrator expresses her feelings by not wanting to speak to anyone but Mrs. Warburg. Perhaps listening to her voice, or knowing that they are both going through a similar grief brings her comfort. During their telephone conversations, she likes to lay in Anne’s bed, wearing her robe and drowning her sorrows in alcohol. Mrs. Warburg asked, “Do you feel like talking tonight?” (526) The narrator states, “Mrs. Warburg was the only person I felt like talking to.” (526) Wearing Anne’s robe and laying in her bed gives the narrator a feeling that Anne is close to her. Drinking alcohol may numb the emotional pain she feels for a little while. The following passage is an example of how the monstrous act Eugene did has a psychological impact. “Maybe your nervous system doesn’t get the message to swallow the morning toast and you are strangled and thrown to the kitchen floor by Eugene Trask while your wife and children watch.” (530) Signs of depression still linger within her even though time has passed since the murder of her roommate. She is possibly trying to move on with her life, but the memory of what Eugene Trask did to her friend still lives within her. Anger stage is portrayed when Anne’s body is recovered from the “old mine near Speculators” (530) The narrator’s worst fears are confirmed; Anne is not coming back. Her lifeless body was recovered from the “very dark” (528) place where the psychic predicted. The narrator is angry with herself that she was not able to rescue her roommate. Rescue her from the evil hands of Eugene Trask. “If I had hidden in the timbered walls of the mine.” (530) The narrator regrets not being present when Anne needed her the most. At the end of the story the narrator claims that the “eyes were open and blue” (530) when Anne was found dead. This symbolism represents her acceptance of her roommate’s death and ultimately the impact it will forever have on the lives of the survivors. Although, the nonlinear chronological state of this story made it quite difficult to follow, any reader who has suffered a similar loss could to a certain degree relate to the narrator’s grief. Work Cited Bloom, Amy. “By-and-by.” ENGL1C: Composition and Literature, 2016, Moodle.chaffey.edu/mod/url/view.php?id=280262
In “Whoever We Are, Loss Finds us and Defines Us”, by Anna Quindlen, she brings forth the discussion grief's grip on the lives of the living. Wounds of death can heal with the passing of time, but in this instance, the hurt lives on. Published in New York, New York on June 5, 1994, this is one of many Quindlen published in the New York Times, centered on death's aftermath. This article, written in response to the death of Quindlen’s sister-in-law, and is focused on an audience who has, currently is, or will experience death. Quindlen-a columnist for the New York Times and Newsweek, Pulitzer Prize winner and author-has written six bestselling novels (Every Last One, Rise and Shine, Object Lessons, One True Thing, and Black and Blue) and has been published in the New York Times and Newsweek.
In the essay “On the Fear of Death” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross focuses on dying and the effects it has on children as well as those who are dying, while in Jessica Mitford’s “Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain” focuses more on the after fact when the deceased is being prepared of their last appearance. Both authors, point out that the current attitude toward death is to simply cover it up. A successful funeral is when the deceased looks “Lyf Lyk” in Mitford’s Essay, but in Kubler-Ross’ it is dying at a peace with oneself, no IVs attached. Both authors feel that the current views of death is dehumanizing. Mitford points this out with the allusion that the funeral parlors are a theatrical play, while Kubler-Ross comments “I think there are many reasons
As a young girl, Anne’s first “teacher” was her very own mother. Anne was a curious little girl. With her curious ways and always wanting to find out what is happening around her, her mother wouldn’t give her any information. Her mother mostly told her to keep quiet and act like she doesn’t know what is happening. Besides
When it comes to required academic reading, I can be a rather fussy reviewer. After all, I don’t get to choose the books that I read – they’re required. However, Life after Loss is a purposeful and very well thought-out book. Author Bob Deits paints a picture of grief in a very honest, if not blunt, manner that seldom repeats itself. The anecdotes used (even if he used the annoying tactic of making them up) were engaging and inspiring. Each chapter was concise, uncluttered, and easy to read, and bullet points were used sparingly and to good effect. In this soup to nuts introduction to the grief process, the physical, emotional, and relationship elements of this difficult topic were presented in a strength based and compassionate way.
What does it feel like to die? Does it hurt the person or the loved ones left behind? Alexandra Kleeman’s short story ‘You, Disappearing’ gives the reader a sense of death and it’s possible outcomes while giving the tale of fear and love. While some are concerned of their own demise, others give no thoughts towards time and when it will end. Kleeman writes in a strong figurative language, for example, death is hard not be concerned about due to there being no way to fully understand the spiritual and physical aspects to why it happens and seemingly enough, those who know are already dead. The main character in this short story is strongly in love with her deceased partner, and represents herself through the story with a constant need of approval and appreciation of her own life. Portraying the fear of loss by an apocalyptic setting, Kleeman grants characterization to seemingly unrelated objects by tying them together from senses and memories in her short story, “You, Disappearing.”
At some point in everybody’s life they feel the sorrow and anguish of losing somebody. The the stories “Nashville Gone to Ashes” and “When It’s Human Instead of When It’s Dog”, both a widow and widower are not able to move on with their life after the loss of their loved one. In both cases the mister and the widow both come to the conclusion that their significant other is not coming back leading them to find ways to cope with their deaths, move on and function the best they can with their lives.
Death has feelings as much as any human, imagining, getting bored, distracted, and especially wondering (350, 243, 1, 375 respectively). Odd, one could say for an eternal metaphysical being. But then again, not that queer once having considered how Death spends his time. He is there at the dying of every light, that moment that the soul departs its physical shell, and sees the beauty or horror of that moment. Where to a human witnessing a death first hand (even on a much more detached level than our narrator) can easily be a life changing event, Death is forced to witness these passings for nearly every moment of his eternal life. Emotional overload or philosophical catalyst? Death gains his unique perspective on life through his many experiences with the slowly closing eyelids and muttered last words. Yet in this...
When death has taken someone from your life, you think of everything you said to them, your last words, memories, and the talks that happened. During this assignment, one will see the grieving process from me about a tenant that I took care of, and the impact this lady’s passing away, left me. Polan and Taylor (2015) says “Loss challenges the person’s priorities and importance of relationships.” (pg 226) When an individual loses someone that you see everyday and take care of, this effects you because, you build a relationship and get to know each other on a personal level. When my tenant was passing away it was painful. I didn’t know what to feel when I seen what was happening and knew what was taking place.
In this story, the lies that AnneMarie was told effected her life. AnneMarie’s life before the lies was hard/joyful, but after the lies, she realized that they were to keep her safe. One of the lies that was told to AnneMarie was the lie about the death of Aunt Birte. When Annemarie asked Uncle Henrik about her, she became furious because he lied to her. Although later, Uncle Henrik explained, “It is much easier to be brave if you don’t know everything. And so your mama doesn’t know everything. Neither do I. We only know what we need to know.” (p. 65)
Overcoming the grief that is felt after losing a loved one is a physically and mentally agonizing task. According to Dr. Christina Hibbert, a clinical psychologist who graduated from the California School of Professional Psychology, three main stages of grief include anger, depression and acceptance. Each one of these emotions can be seen in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet and The Descendants (2011, Payne) as the artists explore the effects of grief and the different emotional responses that one can have due to the loss of a loved one. Additionally, in Ismail Kadare’s Broken April, the Berisha family feels the sufferance that is associated with unexpected death, as well as the various temperamental reactions that one will have after losing a loved one. Each of these works of art represent a powerful example of the stages that one will go through after feeling the intense sorrow that is connected with death, as well as the unavoidable effects of grief.
Everyone has or will experience a loss of a loved one sometime in their lives. It is all a part of the cycle of life and death. The ways each person copes with this loss may differ, but according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s novel On Death and Dying, a person experiences several stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. There is no set time for a person to go through each stage because everyone experiences and copes with grief differently. However, everyone goes through the same general feelings of grief and loss. There are also sections in Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” that connect to the process of grieving: “On Pain,” “On Joy and Sorrow,” and “On Talking.” Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” reflects on Kübler-Ross’s model of the different stages of grief and loss.
Leming, M., & Dickinson, G. (2011). Understanding dying, death, & bereavement. (7th ed., pp. 471-4). Belmont, California: Wadsworth.
Many experts agree that there are different stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are stages that many grief-stricken people must endure to manage life after a traumatic death. The story, “The Fly,” by Katherine Mansfield, has only a few characters in it, but those few characters show the different stages of grief. The characters illustrate how different the grieving process is when the circumstances of the deaths are the same. Mr. Woodfield is in the stage of depression, and he may have turned to harmful habits after his son’s death.
dealt with and the individual moves on. Susan Philips and Lisa Carver explored this grieving
Many experts would agree that there are different stages in grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are stages that many grief stricken people must endure to manage life after a traumatic death. The story “The Fly” by Katherine Mansfield has only a few characters in it, but those few characters show the different stages of grief. The characters illustrate how different the grieving process is when the circumstances of the deaths are the same.