10 Things I Hate About You And Miley Cyrus

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Everyone always says first kisses are awkward. If someone were to ask my 14-year-old self; I wouldn’t believe him or her. See at this time in my life, I was watching movies like 10 Things I Hate About You and Miley Cyrus’ Last Song to depict my perception of teenage romance as perfect. All my best friends have already had relationships, but I had no experience with boys; I haven’t even had a boyfriend yet. So, most of the time I thought there was a physical aspect wrong with me; I thought I was ugly. I would spend hours picking on an outfit and putting makeup on just to go to the grocery store for twenty minutes to get noticed by teenage boys. This was an ongoing occurrence for a couple of months with me. At one point, I decided to give up …show more content…

A week since the kiss and I received no response from Cody. It was unusual for him to not answer because he lives right down the street and we have been hanging out every day for 2 years. People say wait a couple of days for him to text back, that means he’s interested. My phone never left my side for that week. My spirit started to crash from his absence. Then my eyes encountered an image. I was scrolling through Instagram, when I noticed those green eyes. It was him and those lips I was once familiar with against a stranger. For the first time ever, my heart felt like it was broken into tiny pieces. The whole world seemed to stop and the only object visible was that picture. In my mind, I was thinking, What is wrong with me? In the past I always associated that bouys don’t like me because I wasn’t as pretty as the other girls in my town. That night my pillow was soaked with tears of a first broken heart. I never reached out to him about the picture. The next couple of days, a smile was on my face outside my bedroom to appear normal to everyone else. That’s a normal quality of mine to not express feelings towards others, I’m very introverted. For 2 weeks I lied to my mom about eating; I only had about one meal a day. My strive was to be like the girl he was with in the picture. My weight was a couple pounds heavier than the normal girls in my area. In those next months was the skinniest I’ve ever been. I lost about 20 pounds. It’s sad that at this time I felt more confident because of my change of weight and physical image. In that year, I got the most attention from boys in my school and outside. Soon this conflict with myself became unimportant. I started focusing on more attention to school and as my looks went down, my weight went up. At this time, I finally had the chance to hang out with Cody after the kiss about a year ago. His green eyes carried bags underneath his eyes, he let his faux hawk

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