Understanding Shame: Reflections from Filipino Elders

Fourth Session. Lola Leslie, Lolo Ely and Lolo Evan said that they felt shame especially when they committed a wrongdoing.
Lola Leslie, who lost her whole family during the Yolanda tragedy, shared that she felt shame when she asked her friend to lend her some money, which she did not return.
Lolo Ely, who experienced feeling ashamed because of what happened to his family and what he did to the pastor, had related his principle on the topic of shame:
Ako naman, ang sa akin may mga bagay na ika nga kung bakit nagkakaroon ng hiyaan kung ayaw mo ika nga mapahiya wag ka gagawa ng mga bagay na hindi tama sa kapwa mo… Mas maganda pa humingi ka nalang ng kapatawaran sa kapwa mo. (For me, there are things that can cause someone to feel shame, if

Lola Tanya was also the same because she believed in the saying, “Sabi nga, pag binato ka ng bato, batuhin mo ng tinapay.” It is a saying that means when someone commits a wrongdoing to you, you should still do good deeds to him.
The topic “Has anger affect your health?” was talked about. Lola Leslie, Lola Lucy, Lola Myra, Lolo Evan, Lolo Ely and Lolo Dexter agreed that anger had affected their health.
Lolo Dexter narrated that he felt it when he became angry towards the houseparent that he threatened. He said, “Naranasan ko iyan mam... Iyon bang sa sobrang bilis ko magsalita, nauutal ako. (I experienced that… When I talked fast, I stuttered.)”
Lola Lucy considered her experience of suffering stroke as a cause of her unspoken anger to her family:
Katulad ko na-stroke ako, it’s because na di ako nagsasalita sa problema ko. Okay lang sa akin. Di ako nasalita, inagaw sa akin ang bahay ko.. Iyon, okay lang sa akin di na ako nagsalita, kase nag-iisa lang ako, parang na-stroke ako dahil doon. (Like me, I was a stroke victim because I didn’t express my problems. I was okay. I never said anything even when they took my house. I was okay and I never said anything because I was alone, I think I suffered stroke because of