Why I Want To Infect

There are billions of lives on this planet, and there is not a single one I do not want to infect. I am Giardiasis, and my sole purpose is to cause anguish and agony. Every hour of my existence, I scour the earth for a new host. No amount of medical advancement can disrupt me; I am confident in my ability to evade eradication. Even though I may not be a deadly disease, I always do my best to conduct people’s lives in ceaseless torture.

I start out my life’s journey looking for people to infect by swimming through pools of water throughout the world. The best countries are third world countries where people are underdeveloped and vulnerable. For extended periods of time, I am often without a host, waiting for an unsuspecting, naive human to take a sip of what they think is thirst quenching liquid. In reality, the liquid is their worst nightmare. No matter the place- pools, spas, or rivers- I am there, and the moment someone opens their mouth, I shall capture the flag of their

immune system. Once I am inside, I remain dormant for approximately a week. After a week, I strike and wreak havoc by causing diarrhea, abdominal cramps, and dehydration. Now that I have described my work and how I go about it, it excites me to have an opportunity to tell you the story of one of my cherished jobs.
One day, I was swimming around in the murky waters of South Africa. A young, white male unsuspectingly opened his mouth, and I saw the perfect opportunity to maim this young boy’s life. I swiftly swam in and began my endeavor. I made my bedroom in his lower intestines as his white blood cells swam past me, searching valiantly but unsuccessfully for the intruder. After a few weeks of their searching and my hiding, his blood cells gave up, and I was deeply pleased. Throughout those few weeks, I was able to strengthen myself and become two times larger than I had ever been, and I was itching and ready to synthesize this young boy’s life into a living nightmare. I was so ecstatic to start the premium component of my job. It was time to fill his body with my offspring and wreck him with as many symptoms as possible.
My goal is always to stay in my host for their entire lifetime, but that never seems to work. Instead, I prepared myself for an enduring eight-week stay. I started by making the boy lose his appetite, so he knew something was awry. I divided myself continually to reproduce, and everything only grew better for me and worse for him from that point forward. My thousands of offspring traveled into the deep cavities and recesses of his body and caused him to vomit for weeks on end. He began to lose weight from my lovely infection, and suddenly, his wretched parents forced him to visit the doctor’s office. My worst nightmare had started; I hate when the futile humans incessantly try to interrupt my plans and my infectious power.
The idiot doctor prescribed him my worst enemy- antiparasitic drugs. The battle then commenced. My clan fought back with mighty strength; a puny prescription drug would not halt us. We forced headache upon headache on his aching mind. The headaches we gave him were strong enough to kill a giant with our sharp, spear-like attacks and charges. We also pulled out our nuclear weapon, which is lactose intolerance. We assaulted every pill and molecule of those anti-parasite medicine capsules, but modern medicine has advanced too far for us to conquer and murderously destroy the pills. When I saw the war we were fighting was a war we could never win, I pulled the lever on the escape hatch, and we all flew out the ample nostril of the boy into his mother’s Coca-Cola.
His mother almost dumped the Coca-Cola down the drain, but she decided to drink every drop.

I am extremely grateful for this. I cascaded the slippery slope of her esophagus, and I made my habitat in the bacteria of her small intestine. I partied it up for a week with some other parasites, and then I strove to absolutely demolish her; after all, she is the one who made her son ingest those trivial pills. I forced fluids to flow out of her body. She was miserable with a headache, dehydration, fatigue, and cramps. I came at her body with a vengeance. I swam to every part of her carcass and exacted my revenge on her. Her dehydration was so atrocious that she was obliged to spend a night in the hospital. I had an insatiable desire to murder her, but even with this impassioned, adrenaline-loaded strength, I could not kill her. The doctors gave her antiparasitic drugs, and soon after, I was required to abandon her and find a new host. Being a parasite who cannot kill is so awfully

infuriating.
You must wonder what species of horrible being would love to inflict so much evil. Well, I am a parasite, and parasites desolate all that they see. (At least that is what we try to do.) You can try and avoid me by washing your hands or boiling unclean water, but I am sure your fight against me will never succeed. The unclean water breathes life into me, and feces encourage me to reach new heights of epidemic and pandemic power. No matter the fight against me, I will always go unnoticed and infect someone new until the end of time. Prescription drugs or methods of cleanliness will never put an end to me. No immune system is too fortified for me to annihilate. I am the terminator, and I shall hurt those whom I want. You should not worry about contracting me because you cannot avoid the inevitable.
You can find me in every region of the planet. Having the ability to travel the world in disparate anatomies is so magnificent. Joy comes to me when I torment unsuspecting, ignorant people. Just like the story of the young, white boy and his mother in South Africa, I am coming for you. I will everlastingly revel in sabotaging humans. Trying to terminate a parasitic personality like mine will forever be a losing campaign for you feeble-minded human beings.