I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife.
And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother. Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturing attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.
I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it.
At what point does work life start interfering with family life to an extent that it becomes unacceptable? Is it when you don’t get to spend as much time with your family as you would like, or is it the point where you barely get to see your family due to long hours at work? Is it even possible to balance work with family life? Anne-Marie Slaughter, the author of “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All”, believes this balance is impossible to achieve in this day and age. In contrast, Richard Dorment, the author of “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All”, believes that there will never be a day when someone will have it all, certain sacrifices will always have to be made. Both of these articles are similar in the respect that they both examine balancing a demanding career with raising children. The two authors’ views on the subject differ greatly, especially regarding how gender roles have a significant impact on our society.
College degrees, jobs, and income stream are all quantifiable items, however, a gauge on work-life balance, parenting abilities, and dedication at home cannot be measured by a number. In the past, men have been viewed as the backbone of the family. The typical day consists of getting up the earliest, going to work, coming home late at night, maybe missing out on trivial matters, but ultimately paying the bills. As time progresses, roles in households have shifted significantly. Now more than ever women are extremely active in the workforce, local communities, and politics. The obstacles faced by men and women are inherently different, but men seem to fall under an intensified microscope when it comes to intertwining family life with a career. Richard Dorment dives deep into these issues in his piece, "Why Men Still Can't Have It All." Although the argument may seem bias in favoring the rigorous lifestyle of men, the
Judy Brady’s essay “I Want a Wife” uses a sarcastic tone in order to illuminate the amount of much pressure that is put on wives, not just by their husbands, but by society as well. Brady’s tone voices to the audience that changes need to be made to the role of women.
These days, marriage contracts fortunately treat both men and women the same, and look at it as more of a partnership rather than a legal contract with economical advantages. (Bernstein, 2011) Today, women have more goals than getting married and having children, most want to go to college and having a successful career. It is normal for a woman to be completely successful all on her own without a husband. These days, a woman can be the bread winner of her family while her husband is a stay at home father. There are also several single working mothers and single working
Today, many women choose their own lifestyle and have more freedom. They can choose if they want to get married and have kids or not. Coontz said “what’s new is not that women make half their families living, but that for the first time they have substantial control over their own income, along with the social freedom to remain single or to leave an unsatisfactory marriage” (98). When women couldn’t work, they had no options but to stay with their husband for financial support. Working is a new way of freedom because they can choose to stay or leave their husband and make their own decisions.
"Why are Women Leaving Marriage in Droves?" Marriage. Copyright: 1998. Cyberwoman (30 Jan 1999) http://www.cyberparent.com/women/marriage1.htm
In I Want a Wife, Brady highlights the oppressive nature that women must endure. She describes a stereotypical housewife, and lists the chores and tasks that are expected of her one after another. Brady structures the piece for maximum effect. The fast paced, repetitive structure of her piece adds to her point that the burden of a wife is never ending. She also introduces the piece by examining the actions of a male friend, who seems callous, for he is trying to find a wife right after his divorce‒ as if women are objects to be used and then...
In his novel Our Kids, Robert Putnam speaks on about how the 1970’s brought a change in family structures. The family structure of two strong parents and stigma against wedlock births and pre-marital sex quickly began to fade. Birth control and the feminist revolution contributed to these rapid changes. Women began to work and were “in part, freed from patriarchal norms” (Putnam 62). Rather than conforming the female gender role and staying home, having children, and putting food on the table, women actually started to become a part of the economy. They were not as focused on the idea of marriage and finding an economically stable husband to provide for them. The decrease in family structure quickly began to affect opportunity inequality among individuals. Those children with “neo-traditional” marriages are more like to receive a college degree rather than those without. Having a lower-income family reduces educational opportunities children have. While a child from a two-income family may attend a private school with resources that assist them in getting into ivy league schools, a kid from a single parent family may have to attend a public school where there is not even access to a computer lab or extracurricular activities. The lack of education these kids have contributes to their lack of opportunity to receive a college degree. Normally, a college degree allows individuals to receive a higher income than those who just have a high-school diploma. They simply are not exposed to the resources to succeed. This contributes to the inequality of opportunity, and ultimately, the inequality of income. Not only does the structure of family affect the outcome of children, but also the style of
Over the past three decades these ideals, although they are still recognizable, have been drastically modified across all social classes. Women have joined the paid labor force in great numbers stimulated both by economic need and a new belief in their capabilities and right to pursue opportunities. Americans in 1992 are far more likely than in earlier times to postpone marriage. Single parent families--typically consisting of a mother with no adult male and very often no other adult person present-have become common. Today at least half of all marriages end in divorce (Gembrowski 3). Most adults no longer believe that couples should stay married because divorce might harm their children. Of course, these contemporary realities have great consequential impact on mother-ch...
Since most men have mothers to cater to their every need up until the time they move out, they have outrageous expectations of how a wife should act and what duties she should perform. Judy Brady, who is a wife and mother, wrote the essay "I Want a Wife" to explain what men want in a wife. She discusses the different skills a wife needs to possess for a man to consider her a good wife. Brady’s use of repetition, constant sarcasm, and defensive word choice throughout her essay makes it successful by relating to women’s frustrations of being a wife.
In Judy Brady’s, “I Want A Wife” (1971) sarcasm or a humorous tone is expressed on the topic of what makes a wife. Brady repetitively states, “I want a wife” and begins to list what makes “a wife.” Brady defines a wife as someone who takes care of the children, cleans and cooks, gives up her ti...
If you take all of these steps you will survive at least one normal day in the life of a single parent going back to school. Continuing your education is hard work. It takes dedication, commitment, and making sacrifices. Remember, your family comes first, your education second, and if you have time for anything else, it comes third. Don’t give up and keep your sense of humor.
“Because I am female I am expected to aspire to marriage, I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that, Marriage is the most important”. This is a series of lyrics from Beyoncé’s song Flawless. This quote is important because I feel this pressure when I am supposed to talk about ‘a rich and fulfilling life’. I almost feel obligated to mention ‘a family’ as one of my requirements to a rich and fulfilling life. As a woman, society expects me to mention children and a husband to complete my life. However, I don 't want to take the traditional route. To me, a rich and fulfilling life can mean different things. Important values to me revolve around my goals and dreams in life. I think a rich and fulfilling life to me includes
Marriage is one of the most important goal in people life, create a family, have kids, live together ever after. Find the right person isn 't easy, we can spend most of our life looking for our soulmate, Dreaming with a fairy tale with the “one” and get married.
“It is truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”