What Have You Learned About Yourself?

a. What have you learned about yourself?

I became much more aware that I am a normal human being who has emotions. I realized that I had trained myself to use my head, in all kinds of circumstances, to cope with people who did not accept me or who were adversaries. Unfortunately, the list of those who did not consider me a human being with emotions, desires and basic human needs was much longer than the one of people who were genuinely interested in my health and wholeness while I adjusted to the U.S. norms and traditions and found my place in society. As a result, I became the type of minister who was able to act, think and reflect on parishioners’ situations intellectually but not emotionally. CPE helped me regain my emotional strength, and my ability to empathize with my parishioners on an emotional level.

b. Describe the specific insights and skills you have developed as a pastor?

There are, of course, great differences in the roles of a medical doctor and a pastoral caregiver. As someone in pastoral care, my job is obviously not to find the physically troubled areas of a human being or to prescribe medications or tests. The plus I have over a medical doctor is that they are not supposed to share personal experiences while treating a patient, but I, as a pastor, can speak about my pain and illness and God’s amazing grace and miraculous hand on me when I was hospitalized.

In my ministry I quickly realized that parishioners can have very different expectations and they perceive pastoral care in different ways. For example, I ministered to a parishioner who was hurt by my silence during her stories, which were painful and life changing for her. My silence did not mean that I did not care for her, but was my way of expre...

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...ng societal affairs in the world’s best country – the U.S. They also told me that basic human rights were only present in the U.S. and that understanding Christian faith is not clear among people in developing countries. As a result, during my later days in Ames, Iowa, while in seminary education, and during internships and ministry at a local church, I never shared with any parishioner about my cultural heritage, sociological background, religious tradition, hobbies, interests or customs. I developed a strong sense of rejection while living in Ames, Iowa and Evanston, Illinois.

I concluded that to be successful in the U.S., I had to conform to the habits, customs, tastes and trends practiced in the U.S. In my CPE sessions, RB, the supervisor, as well as the group members, highlighted my areas of personal numbness because of my struggles with being new to the U.S.