What Does Shame Mean

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From a mindful point of view we can consider shame a blessing. We can embrace it, befriend it and even be taught by it. Not unlike anger, fear and other seemingly problematic emotions, shame is part of our survival system. Shame enables us to possess and maintain a sense of belonging and it helps to clarify our values and experience purpose. However this friendly version of shame is foreign to most of us. For the vast majority, blessings and shame are explicit contradictions. Our life experience has revealed shame as the ugly friend who introduced us to his annoying companions, unworthiness and emotional pain. So, is shame a blessing or is it a curse? The short answer is, it is neither and it is both. To understand it we must first ask what purpose dose shame serve? Another way to ask this question is, "what problem does shame solve?" Simply put, shame helps us to know our place. Imagine yourself back in time, thousands of years …show more content…

Your tribe has intrinsic expectations of what is acceptable, as well, your tribe has an understanding of what, if any deviations from the norm can be tolerated, Within your tribe there are social boundaries that are immutable and nonnegotiable. These expectations are draped in the customs, traditions, beliefs and rituals that have developed over a multitude of generations. These expectations help others to know that you belong with them and they help you to distinguish those who are your people from those who are not. Shame is the emotional instrument that warns you when you are outside of the expectations of your group. When you violate the expectations of your tribe, you and your tribe are at risk. It is in that perspective that shame helps us to know our place and purpose. Thousands of years ago, shame helped us to

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