When examining the topic of cheating, you will notice how often this form of betrayal is acted upon. Cheating is everywhere. We observe it in school, in relationships, and even in the workplace. Cheating is a very intricate term with a plethora of context behind it. So, what’s the truth behind infidelity and cheating? Is there neurological reasoning behind cheating? Is it a choice or is it a rational mistake? What’s the distinction between men and women when they cheat? What are the gains of cheating? Is there a generational aspect to any of it? Feelings of passion can overtake us, guilty feelings will wash over us, and paranoia will take control of us. The act of cheating is not over and done with immediately after, the consequences that …show more content…
Both are done for self gain. When a man and a woman commit to a relationship, they vow to be together through thick and thin and for better or for worse. The sacred vow to love each for as long as they both shall live. But when the honeymoon phase ends, couples begin to realize how much stress the commitment can bring. Attention from one another begins to become something you need more than ever. So when the attention starts slipping is when a partner begins looking elsewhere. But why does this have to lead to infidelity and not a simple conversation to fix the issues in the relationship? Perel states, “Why do we think that men cheat out of boredom and fear of intimacy, but women cheat out of loneliness and hunger for intimacy?”. This has become the common stereotype of infidelity and the reasoning behind it. The difference between men and women would be that men cheat out of fear of commitment and the promise they just made to only be with that one person for the rest of their lives. Men also begin having an affair out of boredom...The boredom of being with same person and not having the feelings of excitement when they sleep with their partner or even just talk to someone new. But I think it’d be the wrong assumption to make in saying that men don’t crave the same attention that women do. Men also want to feel like they are wanted and sexy. Now to look at women and the reasoning behind their affairs. I would …show more content…
Going back to a few decades ago, when an affair occurred in a marriage, couples were more likely to resolve their issue to overcome infidelity. They put more effort into working through issues instead of immediately throwing in the towel. Now flash forward. In today's society an affair is “ a death by a thousand cuts” (Perel). What does that mean? When a partner in a relationship makes the decision to be unfaithful, it hurts the significant other to the point that they lose their self- identity. The partner may start to question who they are or what they believe. They'll start to blame themselves for their significant other cheating. Saying they aren't good enough for that person or that they haven't been doing enough to ensure their happiness. When in reality it's no ones fault for the cheating except for the cheater. No matter how hard times get, couples made a promise to one another and working through their issues is the priority. You should always work through their issues before resorting to other options. The moral option would be to end the relationship before starting up a new
The thing that confuses me are the reasons why people cheat. I know that in college life, it is clear that grades are important. Since grades are so important, people want to do better and want to succeed in their classes that they are taking. By cheating, it makes it easier for them to get a better grade. I agree that it is not an honest thing to do, but it is clear that they are doing it for a reason, to benefit themselves. Also, people want to help their friends succeed so that is another part of it. I think if schools wanted to get rid of cheating, they should not focus on the grades as much. Grading people is important, but is it that important if everyone cheats? I also see how people want to be viewed as honest. I do not think people want to cheat because they think they will be viewed as immoral. Also, they could be punished which would hurt them as well. If everyone cheats in schools, why not just allow it? That is the way that the world is running currently and everyone is cheating their way through
In short story “The Cheater’s Guide to Love,” written by Junot Diaz, we observe infidelity and the negative effects it has on relationships. Anyone who cheats will eventually get caught and will have to deal with the consequences. People tend to overlook the fact that most relationships are unlikely to survive after infidelity. Trust becomes an issue after someone has been unfaithful. Yunior, the main character in this story, encounters conflict as he struggles to move on with his life after his fiancée discovers that he has been unfaithful. Over a six-year period, the author reveals how his unfaithfulness has an effect on his health and his relationships.
When Professor John Doe assigned this reading assignment, I had really no idea what academic book would appeal to me. I definitely wanted to choose a book that would impact me in the long run and that I would benefit from. When I told my brother about the book, he said that he was just finishing a book called “The Cheating Culture, Why More Americans Are Doing More To Get Ahead” by, David Callahan. When he quickly explained what the book was about I knew that was the book I was going to read. I figured that this would be a good choice, because everywhere you look these days you see cheating. This book was published back in 2004 so even though it is a decade old, I do believe that many of the examples in the book are still problems, if not, even worse today than they were a decade ago. Weather it is kids in school, athletes, or the average business man. Everyone is cheating and trying to cut corners to get ahead. Nearly everyone has cheated in their life rather you would want to admit it or not. Reading this book, I was hoping to learn exactly why so many people try to cheat, and what alternatives people could take to prevent from cheating.
did cheat. This article discusses how infidelity is popular in both men and women no
Ultimately, this means that it comes down to how one perceives and comprehends the question being asked. In other words, males associated acts of sexual infidelity with emotional (‘love’), triggering more distress. Similarly, but not in the same way, females are more distressed by emotional infidelity, even though it may or may not be associated with sexual infidelity. Therefore, sex is not a biological factor in determining jealousy – rather it’s the social context and one’s understandings and
A man has been married to his wife for seven years. The couple has two beautiful children, a fabulous home, and appear to have the perfect marriage. After the husband leaves work one afternoon, he decides to stop in at the local bar. The man sits at a table in the corner of the room. Not long after his arrival, a woman approaches him. She asks the man if she can join him at his table. The two seem to have quite a bit in common and enjoy each other’s company. The woman asks if he would like to go back to her apartment. He has not had a fight with his wife today. In fact, she surprised him with a love note in his briefcase. Their sex life is enjoyable, frequent, and without complaint. The couple is not currently having financial problems. Despite this, why did the man decide to leave with a stranger and cheat on his wife? A great deal of research has been carried out on the topic of infidelity. Marital therapists have reported that more than half of the couples they counsel are in therapy as a result of infidelity (Atkins, Jacobson citation). Therapists also consider an extramarital affair as, “one of the most damaging relationship events and one of the most difficult problems to treat in couples therapy” (whisman predicting sexual infidelity…). Some therapists estimate that 50% to 65% of couples seek help after an incident of infidelity in their relationship (Atkins, Jacobson & Baucom). Identifying the reasons for this problem are essential to the success of its reduction. Infidelity is not a new phenomenon. However, there was little research on the topic until the late 1970’s (Drigotas & Barta, 2001). Numerous factors have been examined while trying to determine the root cause for extramarital relationships a...
How do people behave when they face a number of chances to cheat with little or no risk of exposure? In this summary I will present the results of 4 studies made to determine whether or not people take advance of opportunities to cheat. This experiment is important to companies and institutions to know more about their employees and/or students’ behaviors when exposed to situations when they can or have a chance to cheat, if most institutions understand the behavior related to cheating and opportunities to so do, they can be more prepared to avoid this type of situations, and eventually to catch them.
...). Whatever motivation there is to cheat on a spouse, there is not an acceptable reason to do it.
Infidelity is depicted as an extremely negative thing in the United States, and is often blamed for trust issues, psychologically damaging the spouse and their children, tearing apart marriages and families and more. People who commit adultery are often shamed and told how wrong what they did is and what a terrible person they are for doing it. According to the Journal of Martial and Family by the Associated Press, however, 41% of “marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional.” Clearly, while infidelity is generally viewed negative by society, many people either decide that it is not as negative as it is portrayed, or do not care and do it anyway. “The Lady with the Pet Dog” and “The Storm” both go against the typical view of adultery being a negative thing in a relationship by showing that it can actually have a beneficial outcome and leave some, if not all people happier.
One of the studies I found talked about how men and women differ in confronting their significant other about extra-partner affairs. The author of this study, Barry X. Khule, had trained undergraduate students watch and code fifty-one episodes of the reality television show Cheaters (Khule, 2011). Individuals who believed they were being cheated on called the show and asked that the Cheater’s Detective Agency (CDA) follow their significant other around for weeks. Then, the CDA provided the victim with video surveillance footage to show whether or not their significant other had actually been cheating on them. The show then gave the victim a chance to confront the cheating mate. The confrontation was also videotaped as part of the show (Khule, 2011). The undergraduate students (coders) were specially trained to listen for key phrases as spoken by the victim (the individual in the show who was being cheated on) that signaled jealousy. Khule hypothesized, based on previous research that men who were being cheated on would be more concerned about the physical aspect of the cheating and would ask questions such as, “How many times have you had sex with him?” Women, he hypothesized, would be more concerned about the emotional aspect of the cheating and would ask questions such as, “Do you love her?” (Khule, 2011).
In order to understand adultery we must understand what it is and how does it start. Adultery-is the breaking of marriage. In the Ten Commandments the seventh commandment states “Thou shall not commit adultery”. Marriage and adultery are choices to be put into consideration before putting it into action. Adultery isn’t always about sex. Adultery in general can be looking at someone with a lustful eye. Usually in a marriage when a partners needs aren’t met they look for someone else outside of the marriage who can meet up to their expectations. It all starts with un-met needs such as money, lack of intimacy or none at all. Women are emotional beings who they are likely to with cheat once they find a man who is on the same emotional level with them. Men are likely to cheat if they feel unappreciated and not valued by their wife.
Cheating can cause a mental breakdown. It affects how the person feels about themself, as they start to believe that they are not good enough because you went out to find what he or she couldn’t give you. It can make your partner have suicidal thoughts because pain may differ from person to person. Not everyone might respond the same way to an unfaithful partner.For Example, A married woman expects her husband to be loyal and a married man expects the same because the moment they said “Yes I do”, they made a commitment to be together and not let temptation bring them
The first form of adultery is Accidental Infidelity. This can happen to the more careless person, but at the same time, to the person whose values and commitments are tenuous. They lack self-control and respect for both themselves and their spouse. Any situation where they are left alone with the opposite sex is an opportunity for an “accident” to occur. It was shocking to find out that most cases of infidelity occur with couples who are less than twenty -five years old, one would have thought early marriages where happy and care free (figure one).
There are many meanings of the word cheat the meaning that sticks out the most to me is, to be unfaithful to somebody, to have a sexual relationship with somebody other than a spouse or regular sexual partner says MS Encarta. Relationships end everyday due to cheating and the emotional scares of cheating or being cheated on can stay with a person forever. Not only does cheating effect the person that has been cheated on, but it also affects the cheater, friends, and family members as well.
Cheating in relationships happen to both men and women, and for many varied reasons. The reasons of cheating on someone may however, change based off the person’s gender. To simply state, the reason a man cheats may be different than the reason a woman cheats in a relationship. There have been facts and as well as myths surrounding the topic of infidelity. Also, one person may have a different view on what is cheating, where on the other hand, another person may think cheating is the complete opposite. With this, there is not a full and official definition of cheating in a relationship, so this can make it difficult to actually know what exactly is or what is not cheating. I have been told what is cheating by one person, and later on would