True Love In Shakespeare's Romeo And Juliet

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once”, The Fault in our Stars, John Green. Not all teenagers are capable of falling into a true romantic love. However, it is possible for teenagers, who are mature enough, to have strong emotions about someone else. Most people would call this emotion love.

While it is true that most teenagers are impulsive and rash in their decisions, if determined enough, a teenager is capable of making well-reasoned and mature choices. This ability to think through options and remain dedicated and loyal to an idea or person allows for some teenagers to not only fall in love, but maintain a mature relationship. As mentioned in the article, “The Teenage Brain” by Amanda Leigh Mascarelli,

“Even preschoolers rely on the prefrontal cortex to make decisions. Overall, the prefrontal cortex’s ability to boss the brain increases with age” (paragraph 12). If young children, even preschool age are able to make informed decisions using their pre-frontal cortex, then certainly a teenager with more experiences can make wise choices as well. If the pre-frontal cortex, a part of the brain that can out-muscle the reward system, increases with age, then teenagers who are nearing adulthood are able to fall into a love that requires commitment, loyalty, and selflessness. These qualities are necessary for true romantic love. As teenagers prepare for the independence that adulthood brings, opportunities such as love and relationships provide opportunities for teenagers to force their brain to avoid impulsive tendencies, but instead behave rationally, and selflessly with another person’s needs over their own. While difficult due to dopamine levels in teenage brains, it is possible for teenagers to use their prefrontal cortex to make rational and mature choices, even ones relating to love. The article, “The teenage brain”, also mentions that, “Adolescents are particularly sensitive and responsive to influence by friends, desires and emotions, researchers say. It’s one of the hallmarks of this stage in life”(paragraph 8). Love is one of the strongest emotions, thus being one of the strongest influences in a teenager’s life. Teenagers are driven by their emotions. The teenagers who are responsible and mature enough to direct their decisions in the right path, are capable of being in a relationship. While their emotions do indeed affect what decisions they make, they know which decisions are rational and which ones are not. These times of being in a relationship are “one of the hallmarks of this stage in life”. Knowing what love is, is necessary in helping teens prepare for the rest of their lives. However, there are those teenagers who misunderstand the meaning of love. They might date and believe they are in a truly romantic relationship, but they are most likely just in a relationship because they feel as if they need one. They may like someone and believe this emotion is love, but really it is not. These teenagers do not know how to act based on their emotions. Once these adolescents know when they should act on their emotions, is when they can fall into a true love.

True love is not made up only of carefree, fun, and thrilling moments.

Much of a mature relationship involves dealing with reality and the hardships that come along with it. Frequently lovers need to forgive each other and overlook one another’s shortcomings. This requires a great deal of loyalty and maturity. In William Shakespeare’s play, The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet, Juliet shows her fierce dedication to Romeo when she notes, “Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband?/Ah, poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name,/When I, thy three hours' wife, have mangled it?” (Shakespeare III.ii.99-101). Juliet Is upset with herself for cursing Romeo’s name. She decided that as his wife she needs to support and speak highly of him. Even though Romeo had done something wrong, Juliet has the wisdom to overlook it and forgive him. Juliet can see that her marriage is the most important relationship she has and therefore requires the most dedication and loyalty from her. The article “Teenagers in love” by Nancy Kalish states, “Even the adults who had no current interest in their first loves, including those who had only bitter memories, revealed that these early romances influenced their life-long attitudes about love, and even about themselves”(paragraph 9). Adults, who usually criticize teenage love, admitted that their first relationships affected their present feelings about love. If this love they felt when they were younger was not real, then it would not have such a big

impact on how they feel today. Even if their relationships had a bitter end, their lives were still influenced by those relationships. The adults who did not admit that their first loves swayed their current opinions on romance, had a false idea of love when they were younger. These adults did not have the proper experience of teenage love. On the other hand, the adults mentioned in the quote must of felt strongly about their companion for their lives to change because of it.

Some adults may say that teenage romances are based solely on appearance.

In some cases these adults are correct. As the wise friar says in The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet, “Is Rosaline, whom thou didst love so dear/ So soon forsaken? Young men’s love then lies/ Not truly in their hearts/ But in their eyes” (Shakespeare II.iii.66-68). The friar is saying that Romeo did not really love Rosaline. Instead, he only liked Rosaline because of the way she looked. Teenagers, like Romeo in this instance, are attracted to a person and call that attraction love. Romeo basically kicked Rosaline to the curb when he met Juliet. He did not truly love Rosaline, if it took one meeting with another girl to allow him to get over Rosaline. Although Romeo was not actually in love with Rosaline, he learned to be emotionally ready for a relationship with Juliet, after his encounter with Rosaline. Romeo even mentions himself, “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!”(Shakespeare I.v.50). He says himself that he had not felt such a strong emotion until now. Romeo knows that what he felt before was not love, so now he can begin a true commitment to Juliet. For a teenager to fall in love, they must discover what love is false and what love is real. As mentioned in the article “Teenagers in love”, “Teenagers many years ago married their first loves right out of highschool” (paragraph 4). Teenagers were capable of maintaining a romantic relationship throughout high school and there after, many

years ago. Since they had that ability to love in their generation, who is to say that teenagers today can not do the same. Numerous adults criticize modern relationships even though many of them married their first loves. Adolescents today have the mental capacity to properly make decisions just as well as teenagers did generations ago.
The evidence shown in the article “The Teenage Brain” proves that teenagers have the capability to make decisions despite the constant struggle of dealing with the high levels of dopamine. Correct decision making is important for young relationships. Examples from The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet show that Romeo was not truly in love with Rosaline, but he learned what love was in order to be with Juliet. The article “Teenagers in love” provides examples to show that teenagers indeed have the skills needed to commit themselves to another person. Factual evidence from “The Teenage Brain” and examples from the article “Teenagers in Love” proves that adolescents’ brains are mature and skilled enough in order to fall into a true, romantic love.