Titanic Persuasive Speech

History is undoubtedly an important part of the bullshit information we are fed today, and a lot of it, for the most part, makes at least some bit of sense. But the times it doesn't. The time's things were flat out ridiculous, to the point of just being hilarious, those are the seemingly boring events that, if you knew the full extent of, will make your 10th-grade world history class worth losing countless hours of time and sleep over.

Bird Holocaust

China has been the king of making dumbass decisions since God knows when, primarily due to the fact they have about as much luck with finding leaders as you had with finding a date in middle school, but this one takes the cake. 1959 leader, Mao Zedong, decided that his wonderful country

Pretentious

It’s common knowledge that if you are going on a cruise, to have enough if not more than enough life rafts for everyone involved in case of, oh I don't know, a crash? Well, the designer of the Titanic didn't think so because it made the deck look too “cluttered” and the boat was already “unsinkable”, right? The Titanic was more than capable of holding enough rafts for well over the maximum capacity of 3,547 people, which could have prevented many unnecessary deaths, but apparently, style is more important than safety. Sounds a lot like the way people still think today. Scary.

“64 - the number of lifeboats the Titanic ship could have been capable of carrying (a total well over the ships maximum capacity of 3,547 people).

48 - the number of lifeboats originally planned for Titanic by the chief designer Alexander Carlisle, 3 on each davit; however this number was eventually reduced for cosmetic reasons, to make the decks look less cluttered.”

Little man Stands Up… and Then Falls Back

This proved to be the beginning of the end for Napoleon, who was forced into exile in April 1814.”

Alexander the SpEd

Now here is a man that is the complete polar opposite of the dumbass that was just discussed, and his name is Alexander the Great. This is a man that has much more testosterone pulsing through his body than Napoleon could ever dream of, but his lack of IQ points almost counteracts the fact that he was such a badass. The entire reason his empire fell was that he forgot to name an heir. This is what happens when you put the fate of an entire empire in the hands of the quarterback of your local high school football team.

“Alexander's death was so sudden that when reports of his death reached Greece, they were not immediately believed. Alexander had no obvious or legitimate heir because his son, Alexander IV, was born after Alexander's death.”

Bold as Brass, Dumb as a