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The effect of divorce on children
How can divorce affect behaviour in children
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The Turning Point
“..to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse,” Those are the words every couple say right before the official status of husband and wife. My Mom and Dad dated in college during their sophomore year. That next year, my Mom was pregnant with twins at the age of 21.My Dad was 22. Since my family is heavily into our faith, the next thing for my parents to do was to get married.My parents stayed married for 13 years. Up until my seventh grade year , my life was pretty close to perfection. My parents was basically the happy couple.They would get my sister and I ready for school in the mornings. They would cook together and read my sister and I stories at night. However, everything slowly started to change. I started to notice the little things my parents liked doing together. Some dinner nights, and breakfast mornings would be my sister, I, or just only my
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I live in a small town and the word gotten out pretty quickly. I guess a person would say my parents were #goals. The biggest surprise to me was how my church reacted. Everyone constantly asked me if my sister and I was ok. No one really asked my Mom. Everyone mainly went to my Dad. My hometown is basically fill up with my Dad side of the family. So, when my parents announced they are getting a divorced, everyone assumed that my Mom wanted the divorce. However, it was really my Dad who wanted the divorced .My Mom really wanted to work it out and go to therapy. My parents kind of put on a front to the church and said it was a mutual decision.My sister and I really knew it was my Dad that wanted it. A few of my aunts on my Dad side still considered my Mom as family. During this transition, I often stayed with them a few nights with them until my parents officially moved out and got their own
I was awful young enough to not fully be aware of the entire situation. What I did know was that I didn’t want to move into a new house, attend a new school, and definitely not live without my dad. Adapting to my new and different surroundings was very hard for me. I was upset with my dad for his actions because he was the cause of all the changes. I was mainly angry with my mom though for her decision. To my eight year old self, I felt as if it wasn’t fair. I was her precious girl and entire world and I knew she would do anything to see my happy. For that particular reason was why i couldn 't comprehend her decision. I wasn 't happy with the outcome, I hoped she would forgive him and we could be a family
Being pressured into marriage, and having a weight of knowing to not disappoint your parents challenges one's ability to find their own true happiness and love without being overwhelmed with what the family truly wants their child’s wife personality to
I was raised by my mother and grandmother. They kept my head leveled and taught me that working hard leads to success. I loved them, and they were my role models. I grew up in a middle class family with strong women. I learned independence, and the strong will to never give up. It was the summer of 2005 when my mother re-married, and I was in the eighth grade. My mother was happy because she found the conclusion to her life: a husband. I was ecstatic because I finally had a daddy! My hopes, wishes, and dreams had come true. I felt that God answered my prayers. I loved having a father figure, although I had certain doubts. My uncertainty came from the way he looked at me. He looked at me the way men crave women. However, I concealed my unclear feelings because I did not want to ruin the current circumstances. Unfortunately, all of my suspicions were true.
Many girls of different ages fantasize about the perfect wedding, perfect husband, a gorgeous dress, and the happiness to come after the wedding. At one point I was just like these girls. I saw marriage as a paradise that everybody should experience. Around tenth- grade, my rose tinted glasses were removed and I witnessed just how bad a marriage could get to the point of divorce. The divorce my parents went through, changed my entire view on monogamy. I now see marriage in a more realistic point of view and that it is not an easy journey as I once had thought it was.
This is something that occurred over ten years ago but it still plagues me to this day. One moment I thought that we had a perfect family unit. Everyone was happy and everyone got along great. Then, the next thing I knew, my parents were in court everyday trying to get custody of my older sister and myself. This left me hurt and confused. The worst part was after the divorce was over. My father got custody of us- which I preferred because it meant I didn’t have to move away and I didn’t have to live with my mother’s new boyfriend (her boyfriend while she was married). My mother got visitation rights two days of the week and every Sunday. So, instead of seeing my mother everyday when she would come home from work and having her tuck me in at
It was September 8th 2010, about 8:00 pm my mom had just put Jaclynn, my three-year-old sister to bed. My parents sat my brother Matthew and I down at the dining room table. I was very confused because we only sat at the dining room table for holidays and special occasions. The last time they sat us down this formerly was when my mom was pregnant with my sister. I thought that they were about to tell us that I was going to have another sibling, which would be a bit extreme considering my brother was a sophomore in high school. We sat there patiently waiting for them to explain the reason for this meeting; my mom started explaining that my dad had lost his job about a month ago. My dad said that there was no reason to worry because he had found a new job. I was extremely relieved; I was only thirteen but was old enough to
I never would have imagined feeling like an outsider in my own home. Unfortunately I wouldn’t even go as far as considering my current home as “my home.” I live in a house with eight people and two dogs and for some, that might not even be slightly overwhelming, but for me it is. I try to keep my heart open about the situation, but I always end up feeling like I don’t belong. Given the circumstances of my situation, I would say life definitely turned out better than what I initially expected, but I was left feeling like a “stranger in a village” having to live with a family that is nothing like my own.
My family consists of five children, which today is considered a large family. Of the five I am the youngest by six years. My parents were married for twenty-eight years before they decided that divorce was the only solution. I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage. Because of the many years my parents were married and the wide age difference between my siblings and myself I was the only child still living at home with my parents. The day my dad decided to move out was the day my life changed forever.
After reading about the family transition and change, it hit me that these families that are going through a divorce need to put their children first, and what it is going to be like when they have to adjust to a new lifestyle where their parents are not together anymore. “The central assumption is that divorce is a crisis of family transition which causes structural changes in family systems” (Ahrons, pg. 533). Transitioning is going to be a hard time for these children because their whole life is changing, and it puts a strain on the family because of all the stress. It is so sad that “Our culture presently provides largely negative role models for the divorcing family” (pg. 534). However, the most important thing to do is to keep a positive
Family Today What is a family today? What challenges does being a member of a family present while traditional family structures change? Every family has to struggle to balance the demands of work and children. Also the relationship between each spouse can become more delicate and complicated. Besides, the single parent has to face even more challenges than any other.
When I was 4 years old my mother and father broke up. At the time, I was living with both my mother and my father. We lived in a small run-down apartment in Bloomington. Our household was made up of my mother, father, sister, and I. I am not sure what lead to my mother and father splitting, but I know they had many problems. They had been together 8 years, yet neither of them were happy. When my mother and father split up my sister and I were left with my mother. I remember being upset that my father did not take me with him. I remember crying about it and I also remember my mother punishing me for it. This caused me to believe that it was normal for a father to leave, but when I started preschool I realized that was not the case. I felt very confused when other children would talk about their families. Especially, when they mentioned their fathers.
I was in my final year at high-school. I was only seventeen and the pressure of knowing that the outcome of school results would determine my whole life ahead finally got to me. I snapped. One day, in the absence of my parents, I ran away from home, hoping never to return.
My father is a mathematics teacher and everyone presumed that I also have a bright mind like my father. But the truth was quite bitter. Even though I was brought up with all the facilities a child could get, still I was an average student. This was my parents’ deepest despondency. I was a student with good knowledge and memory, but my indolence always dragged me to average standard.
My parents never married, and split up when I was 9 months old. By the time I was 4, both would be
Many of us have role models in our lives and to most people role models are athletes and movie stars, but to me a role model is much more. To me a role model is a person who has positively influenced someone in life, and is not a person filled with selfishness and greed. They help shape someone’s personality, and characteristics. They are people who someone can look up to for advice in a hard situation, and know that they will give those words of wisdom. They will never judge our past actions, instead only look to help because they really care. A role model is someone who we should never feel awkward talking to about our problems. A perfect role model for me is my mother. She is a wonderful human being. She’s smart, wise, ambitious, patient and such a loving person. There are no words that can describe my gratitude towards her, but through this essay I will describe some of her characteristics that makes her my role model.