The Role Of Parenting In Toni Morrison's Song Of Solomon

Across most of time and human history, families and lineage have been around keeping dynasties intact and human civilization running. In Toni Morrison’s literary mythology in the novel Song of Solomon, she explores family history to create a more realistic modern myth. In doing so, Morrison introduces parenting and family values into her novel, to connect her characters past with the present. In addition, parenting plays a large role in each characters development and growth. Throughout the story, Hagar, Milkman and Guitar have each received different parents, with each having a different impact to their character. Within these three different parenting styles, only Guitar’s upbringing has fulfilled his parents’ life goals that were taught

to him, while Milkman and Hagar’s have not.
Within Pilate’s household, her laissez-faire parenting has failed to imprint her core values of family and independence onto her grandchild Hagar. During and after the breakup with Milkman, Hagar loses her identity stating, “She loved nothing in the world except this woman’s son, wanted him alive more than anybody, but hadn’t the least bit of control over the predator that lived inside her. Totally taken over by her anaconda love, she had no self left, no fears, no wants, no intelligence that was her own” (Morrison 136-137). Through the eyes of Hagar, she is madly consumed by love, which is seen in her statements of “anaconda love”, “no self”, “that was her own”. The anaconda wraps itself tightly around its prey, but in the case of love Hagar has an almost death grip attachment to Milkman. Furthermore, she attaches her life by saying she “wanted him alive more than anybody”.

This love is an unhealthy attachment, which is a large contrast from Pilate’s core values of independence. The purpose of parenting is to guide their children. While Pilate’s hands-off method allows a person to gain independence and think for themselves, Hagar has no resistance to love. If Pilate’s parenting was to foster and grow a sense of self and independence, Hagar has failed to meet this goal. These unhealthy attachments to Milkman demonstrate a lack of independence and Pilate’s failure to adequately parent Hagar. Another moment of Pilate’s deficiency in parenting is in Guitar’s analysis of Hagar, in which he states, “Neither Pilate nor Reba knew that Hagar was not like them. Not strong enough, like Pilate, nor simple enough, like Reba, to make up her life as they had. She needed what most colored girls needed: a chorus of mamas, grandmamas, aunts, cousins, sisters, neighbors, Sunday school teachers, best girl friends, and what all to give her the strength life demanded of her—and the humor with which to live it” (). In this statement, Guitar gets to the core problem of Pilate’s parenting style. Although Pilate has a strong core value of family, as seen by how she holds onto the bones of her father, she fails to adequately provide Hagar with the same care and love of a

family. For instance, Guitar states “She needed [...] a chorus of mamas, grandmamas, aunts [...] and what all to give her the strength life demanded of her”. Humans crave interactions and most have their own support network to help them succeed in life. Ultimately parenting is to help their children survive in the world and both of Hagar’s parents, Pilate and Reba noticed that “Hagar was not like them”. This lack of recognition and provision of a family, prevents Hagar from developing Pilate’s core value of a family. In this sense, both of her parents have failed to provide Hagar with the tools to face the world and have failed in their responsibilities to raise Hagar. Eventually this failure in parenting leads to her death, as her heartbreak and depression in dealing with love consumes her.
Within the household of Macon Dead Senior is a more authoritarian parenting style. During Milkman’s time in the wilderness he states his thoughts, “As the son of Macon Dead the first, he paid homage to his own father’s life and death by loving what that father had loved: property, good solid property, the bountifulness of life. He loved these things to excess because he loved his father to excess. Owning, building, acquiring–that was his life, his future, his present, and all the history he knew. That he distorted life, bent it, for the sake of gain, was a measure of his loss at his father’s death” (300). After understanding his family history, Milkman develops his own opinion of his father’s core values. Moreover Milkman acknowledges that he loved “property” and the “bountifulness of life” because of his father. However to Milkman “he distorted life”, “bent it”, and “was a measure of his loss at his father’s death”. Here, Milkman rejects the lessons and core values of Macom senior as he finds his logic flawed. Subsequently, in terms of Macom Senior’s parenting, he was trying to teach Milkman the value of owning things and property. Macom Senior states “Money is freedom, Macom. The only real freedom there is” (55). In these terms. Macom Senior’s goal of teaching Milkman his core values have failed. However Milkman values freedom, but not the freedom that Macom senior values. Macom Senior is only half of Milkman’s parents, the other is his mother, Ruth Dead’s parenting.
In Ruth’s self reflection of Milkman she reminisces, “When the baby was born [...] she regarded him as a beautiful toy, a respite, a distraction, a physical pleasure as she nursed him—until Freddie (again Freddie) caught her at it; then he was no longer her velveteened toy. He became a plain on which, like the cowboys and Indians in the movies, she and her husband fought. Each one befuddled by the values of the other. Each one convinced of his own purity and outraged by the idiocy he saw in the other” (). In this passage Ruth doesn’t parent Milkman. In Ruth’s eyes Milkman was a “velveteened toy”. In addition, as Milkman grew “he became a plain on which [...] she and her husband fought”. Through the lens of parenthood, Ruth has not employed any type of parenting or attempted to imprint any core values onto Milkman. Consequently, Ruth is a guardian that raises Milkman, but she is not a parent to Milkman. From this it can be said that Ruth had no attempt to parent Milkman, which can be considered neglect, and therefore all of the ways Milkman was nurtured has failed to accomplish their goals. In sum, Macom Senior has failed to teach Milkman his trade and core value, while Ruth has done no such purposeful parenting at all.
Finally, Guitar’s upbringing is the most successful out of all the household’s as he is closest to succeeding his mentors’ and guardians’ thoughts and ideals. Within the novel Guitar is raised by the barbershop and people he hangs out with. In the words of Milkman he says, “
They excused themselves for everything.

Every job of work undone, every bill unpaid, every illness, every death was The Man’s fault. And Guitar was becoming just like them—except he made no excuses for himself—just agreed, it seemed to Milkman, with every grievance he heard” (). Displayed in this passage is the core value that Guitar develops. The concept of “The Man’s fault”, and this political ideology of us versus them takes root in Guitar. Additionally Guitar champions this idea by joining the domestic terrorism group The Seven Days. Here, it is shown how the parenting Guitar has received is carried on and he makes it apart of him. From a parenting perspective he is going along the path he has been guided down. The thought process of “What I’m doing ain’t about hating white people. It’s about loving us”() may be twisted, but it was how he was taught and raised. He embodies the idea of “The Man’s fault”. He pins the blame on white people wanting the “life of a black man”(). Although Guitar’s outlook on life is warped he does accomplish what he has been taught to do. Again this fulfillment of his upbringing is seen in his speech to Milkman where he proclaims, “Everybody wants the life of a black man. Everybody. They want your full attention. Take a risk and they say you not for real. That you don’t love them. They won’t even let you risk your own life, man, your own life—unless it’s over them. You can’t even die unless it’s about them. What good is a man’s life if he

can’t even choose what to die for?”(). Again, Guitar acts upon what he has been taught and makes it his own. The reason Guitar’s mentors and guardians have been so successful in pushing their ideals onto him is that Guitar doesn’t have much to rely on. In contrast Milkman has the comfort of money and Hagar has strong parental figures. All Guitar has is divinity, his grandmother, and poverty. These ideas take root because he has no security, as so he develops these ideals. Here Guitar develops the ideals of “What good is a man’s life if he can’t even choose what to die for”. Freedom, through the eyes of Guitar is control over his own life. This ideal doesn’t conflict with hating “The Man” and shows how he fulfills his upbringing. This pushes him to political fanaticism joining the Seven Days. Throughout the novel Guitar’s actions match his upbringing and he has had the most successful parenting compared to the other characters.
Parenting has been a complex process, that neither science nor religion has truly understood. All of the characters within the Song of Solomon have been changed by the way they were raised. Overall, only Guitar has truly succeeded his mentors’ and guardians’ ideals with a sharp contrast of Milkman’s rejection and Hagar’s death. Throughout the story these three characters each have had a unique character development, but Guitar’s development by joining the Seven days has fulfilled his upbringing. In Milkman’s journey of finding his family history he rejects his father's ideals of property and freedom, while his mother doesn’t even attempt it. Moreover, Hagar’s death is a testament to Pilate and Reba’s mismatched parenting as she fails at being independent and having strong family values. Toni Morrison mythology has an fascinating take on parenting as it uses these three characters to indicate the successes and failure of each parenting style on their children.