emerging adults report that they get along better with their parents now than they did in their mid-teens (Arnett, 2015, p. 51 ). Most parents feel they have a better relationship now with their emerging adult children now too . The national Clark poll shows that 55% of emerging adults have daily or almost daily contact with their parents (Arnett, 2015, p. 50). Parents and children have more frequent contact and enjoy spending more free time together (Gillen, 2015) During this time parents tend to begin to loosen their control on their children (Gillen, 2015), so that these emerging adults can find themselves. That being said some parents have a hard time letting go of their children and this causes a lot of tension. Emerging adults
report having issues with their parents over college decisions (34%) , money (42%) and occupational progress (33%) during this transitional time in life (Arnett, 2015, p.69). Parents also feel that their children aren’t always as responsible for their actions as they should be if they want to be considered adults (Gillen, 2015). Emerging adulthood isn’t just a time of change for the individuals going through it but also their parents. This can be a time when an emerging adult moves out and finds out what real adulthood is like. Parents and emerging adults report that during this time relationships grow stronger due to becoming equals in the sense of respect and maturity. If parents don’t let their children live their lives and are constantly starting conflict this can be a time when an emerging adult is pushed away from their parent for a very different outcome. I believe what parents and emerging adults both have to understand is that change brings up a lot of new things in life for everyone involved that will take some getting adjusting to. In order to be successful everyone needs to step back and see it from the other person’s perspective.
After covering 262 pages of Raising Adults: A Humane Guide for Parenting in the New World, the reader would read four chapters, with plenty of subtopics, that enlightens him or her concerning teenagers and how to approach them. The author, Jim Hancock, fulfills his purpose within this book: to cultivate “people determined to be more intentional, more skillful, more realistic, more effective” concerning their relationships with teenagers. He successfully fulfilled his purpose by structurally discussing the current cultural composition of teenagers, and previous generations; strong relational skills that may aid an adult into becoming an effective parent; and practical strategies to raise adults. Although this book is extremely beneficial for any parent, it does have a con for me: it is too verbose. Namely, it could state what it attempts to convey in fewer words. After
Parents have a tough role raising our world’s next generation. Lori Gottlieb is a psychologist who studied the impact parenting has on children. In her article “How to Land Your Kids in Therapy” Lori explains that when she was in school, she was taught that the worst kind of parenting was when parents neglected their children. Lori then goes on to mention that she has found it increasingly more common to find young adults seeking therapy who had “perfect” parents, but they find themselves unhappy. Parents have adopted a new contemporary style of raising their children; preventing them from growing up with normal human emotions and feelings, which is very destructive to their growth in to adults. These children are just not ready to deal with the real world.
J. J. Arnett argues his theory about a developmental stage individuals go through of 18-25 year olds as a new concept, (Arnett, 2000, pp. 469). He describes emerging adulthood as being a sustained period of time where this age group, as mentioned previously, explores their roles preceding being an adult. These movements can include events similarly by taking longer than previous years to get married and have children, moving back in with their parents at a point during this age span, exploring self-identities, not feeling like an adult and feelings of self-failure. James E. Cote, who is a previous colleague of Arnett argues the opposite about this concept being an unexperienced developmental stage Arnett calls, “Emerging Adulthood”. Cote states
Studies show that ninety percent of people born beginning in the 1970s claim to have an “extremely close” relationship with their parents. When I was younger and I would fall off my purple Barbie bike, my mother would drop what she was doing and run to my side to aid and assist me. My dad, on the other hand, did not. My dad would hold my handlebars as I would ride, soon after he would let go even after I asked him not to. Hence, he knew I would never learn to ride on my own if he continued to baby me, so each time he let go earlier and earlier. My dad did not believe in helicopter parenting or babying me; He believed in hard work and tough love. The article, “Here’s How To Deal With Millennials Who Aren’t Ready To Face Real Challenges”, from
Emerging Adulthood represents the period of development from late teens through their twenties, mainly focusing on the ages 18-25. This is the period which people start exploring and realizing the capabilities of their lives, which then helps them characterize as adults and no longer teenagers. This topic of psychology is compelling to me because it’s a stage that every adult has lived through, it’s interesting that we have all experienced it differently based on our life circumstances and demographics. It’s interesting to see the changes throughout the years and eventually it will be easier for young people to explore these years as more young adults are going to school nowadays. It teaches me to further understand why emerging adults go through
Extensive demographic and cultural shifts have taken place over the past few decades that have made late adolescence and early twenties into a new transitional developmental period known as emerging adulthood for young individuals across industrialized societies. Arnett (2000) argues that emerging adulthood is a “distinct period of the life course” that is “characterized by change and exploration of possible life directions” (469). Additionally, a critical area of identity exploration during emerging adulthood is love and romantic relationships. Arnett contends that “demographic changes in the timing of marriage and parenthood in recent decades has led to prolonged periods of adolescence and delayed adulthood transitions” (470). By postponing
According to Stephanie Coontz relationships between parents and teenagers have become more troubled because society is failing to prepare young people for the demands of today's adulthood. Young people suffer from "rolelessness" as a result of the historical extend of adolescence, with puberty coming earlier and full adulthood coming later. The problem with rolelessness has become harder for the newer generations in my opinion, kids nowadays need that role model/mother-father figure because they are easily influenced by their surroundings. Rolelessness has become a risk among the young.
Sobolewski, Juliana M., and Paul R. Amato. "Parents' Discord And Divorce, Parent-Child Relationships And Subjective Well-Being In Early Adulthood: Is Feeling Close To Two Parents Always Better Than Feeling Close To One?." Social Forces 85.3 (2007): 1105-1124. Academic Search Elite. Web. 9 Apr. 2014.
The realization that their parents are not perfect and they very often point their parent’s faults. Adolescents tend to search for new adults, that are not as imperfect as their parents, with which to confide. These newfound confidants often are an adult to look up to or to fulfill the adolescents need for a "hero". The relationships with adults outside the family tend to broaden the experiences of mid-adolescent. This exposes them to new and unfamiliar situations and lifestyles, which may be frightening during these mid-adolescent ages. Adolescents will place their feelings and thoughts in a journal or diary. Adolescents frequently turn back to the family and appreciate their parents as best friends, as long as there is a mutual respect for each other. At the same time, the peer group diminishes and a few good friends replace the peer group (Kidsgrowth.com,
Rosen, Christine. "The Parents Who Don't Want To Be Adults." Commentary 127.7 (2009): 31. MAS Ultra - School Edition. Web. 13 Dec. 2013.
Adulthood has often been associated with independence. It serves as a turning point in life where one has to take responsibility for oneself and no longer being dependent on his or her family. Early adulthood, usually begins from late teens or early twenties and will last until the thirties (Santrock, 2013). Early adulthood revolves around changes and exploration while middle and late adulthood are more of stability. The transition from adolescence and adulthood differs among every individual. The onset of the transition is determined by many factors such as culture, family background, and the personality of the individual. Emerging adulthood (as cited in Santrock, 2014) is the term to describe the transition period from adolescence to adulthood.
Transition from childhood to adulthood is not just age related. It is a shift in the way our mind starts to process things.
In America, the society runs on what teenagers want. From Nicki Minaj to the junior section at Sears, most of what the people see, hear, or touch is aimed at the teenagers. Being an adolescent is probably the most exciting and most popular time period in a person’s life. The teens seem to have it all, but what about the parents who raise them? The parents of the teenagers never get any credit during this time period, although they have every right to. Parents and teenagers should strive for a strong, lasting relationship for these years, though most times there isn’t one. The relationship between teenagers and parents is the most vital bond in the family because this relationship should and will prepare them for the next step in life.
What I described before is how things go between my parents, but I did not yet talk about the situation between my parents and us, their children. Our freedom grows proportionally with our age. When we were young, we weren't restricted to communicate only to the family members. In school, we were free to meet and talk to whoever we want. Of course they do warn us of the bad persons we might encounter, but we were feeling comfortable. As we grew up, the relationship between us start to be friendlier. Trust is there, which I believe is one of the most important criteria that should exist within a relationship, happiness is there, everything is fine.
While most parents realize there are normal struggles between parents and teens as their sons and daughters struggle for independence and identity, they are often shocked by the length and intensity of the conflict. They are stunned by apparent rejection of some of their most sacred values and confused by their teenagers "acting up" and "acting out." In attempting to become psychologically independent of their parents, teens often attempt to move completely away from any control or influence by their parents.