The Ordinary Devoted Mother: A Short Story

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I did not think there was anything wrong with me, until my hair began to fall out. Approximately eight years ago I became anorexic. As a fourth grader, I compared myself to all my friends and always wondered why I did not look like them. I believed being skinny was the epitome of perfection, and the little voice in my head would antagonize me constantly to lose weight.
Of course at the time I did not know of the healthy methods to lose weight, so I turned to the alternative of completely starving myself. It started out as a gradual process, but soon enough it progressed and became extreme and addicting. I loved to push the limits and see how long I could go without putting a single piece of food in my mouth. It was always thrilling to be able to say I could count each of my ribs or weigh myself and see I was less than 80 pounds. Though in my head, whenever I looked in the mirror I was never satisfied. Like Allison Bechdel, author of “The Ordinary Devoted Mother,” told her …show more content…

I could relate myself to her, I was fascinated in being something that was not me. I ultimately wanted to be someone else. Comparing myself to others was taking over me and I would play this “game” like there were no limits. The harm I was actually putting my body in was never good enough. From doctors, to psychologists to nutritionists, no one could get through my head that my idea of “beauty” was not only unhealthy but also deadly. Not once did I ever stop to ask myself when’s enough going to be enough?
Dealing with Anorexia was a constant battle in my head, relationships and my passion for dance. My sub-conscious feared food and every thought of it. In the film “Waking Life” directed by Richard Linklater, there is a scene where a woman says, “Creation seems to come out of imperfection. It seems to come out of a striving and a frustration.” This quote stuck with me, because the situation and struggles in which I was living was all created through

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