The Devoted Mother Analysis

A memory is like the blossoming of a flower, it is the creation of a whole new life and entity that comes from essentially nothing. When we create a memory, we also create ourselves, and just like the flower, it is out of nowhere. Humans have the privilege of being able to independently think and verbally express those thoughts, giving us the ability to change who we are based on what we know and remember. In other words, our memories shape and define who we are as people. This idea becomes evident in Joshua Foer’s and Alison Bechdel’s works, “The End of Remembering” and “The Ordinary Devoted Mother,” respectively. In this article and graphic memoir, Foer and Bechdel explore the realm of memory and how it affects self-creation, the limits of

the self, and our relationships with others. Together, and separately, the two very clearly and expressively emphasize the importance of memory on life as we know it.
Memory and self-creation go hand in hand; one cannot exist without the other. Each ultimately either create or are influence one another. When it comes to everyday life, this connection is obvious; people go to school to help them in a future career in which they work off of memories of their education. Beyond that, however, there is also the idea of how memory effects people internally. For instance, a swimming accident at the age of 5, might make someone terrified to return to the water. That one single memory will forever linger in the past, shaping that person and their fear. In Bechdel’s graphic memoir, “The Ordinary Devoted Mother,” she very heavily explores the concept of self-creation from memories. Alison, in attempt to write a memoir of her father, finds herself exploring the life of her mother. She, however, cannot find a way to articulate her words in such a way that can tell a story. This hindrance Bechdel has is greatly related back to a memory of her past. When thinking about her mother’s and father’s relationship during her childhood, she says, “I have not been maimed, only wounded, and perhaps not irreparably. The picture of me looking at the camera feels like a picture of the end of my childhood” (Bechdel 107). This one memory, of Bechdel looking at the camera with fear, is what is holding her back from writing. A single memory, from what can be estimated as more than 4 decades ago, still lingers and haunts Bechdel to this day. She has forever been changed since seeing that one picture and connecting it to the past.
In conjunction to the Bechdel, Foer also gives way to the idea that our ability to remember and the way in which we go about doing it, defines ourselves and our characters. Foer, however, does not simply focus on the creation of a new-self, but also the destruction of what we once were. Much of Foer’s article, “The End of Remembering,” suggests the many ways that humans are relying heavily on the use of technology to maintain their memories. With that, it is suggested and interpreted to be that because of this technology, humans are using lest power in themselves to work and maintain what they are trying to achieve. Foer supports this idea with examples from history that emphasize the importance of what once ways. Going back to ancient times, Foer writes:
This is a key point. Ancient texts couldn’t be readily scanned. You couldn’t pull a scroll off the shelf and quickly find a specific excerpt unless you had some baseline familiarity with the entire text. The scroll existed not to hold its contents externally, but rather to help its reader navigate its contents internally (Foer 163).
With this, Foer is telling the reader that in the past, it took and effort to remember, and with that, people weren’t simply remembering, but were also learning. This need to maintain information comes from within, rather than being able to review it after being written down. With that, technology is degrading humans’ internal selves, suggesting that there is indeed, a relationship between memory and self-creation. Bechdel had the same idea when she lived her life based off of a memory from the past. What happens in the past is what creates the future and defines us as human beings.
In part with the self-creation idea that Bechdel and Foer proposed, they also conceptualized the thoughts that with this newly found self, also comes limits.

This was especially seen in Bechdel’s writing, where she struggles to find herself and her words in order to write a memoir about her mother. For what appears to be months, years, even her entire life, Bechdel has seemingly struggled with the limits she places upon her self; more particularly, those of which involve her mother. Although Bechdel and her mother have a good relationship, there is a ‘force’ that prevents Bechdel from acting upon her own whim. Essentially, she is limiting herself to the approval of her mother. This is evident when Bechdel confesses, “This search for meaningful patterns may very well be crazy, but to be enlisted with her in it thrills me. ‘Why do you and I do that?’ I am carrying on her mission” (Bechdel 103). Bechdel clearly realizes that she is, in many ways, just like her mother, even though she tries to go against that. Mentally, she is limiting herself because of her relationship with her mom. Bechdel does, however, recognize the importance of trying to get help to find herself and let go of her mom’s grasp on her life. She does this by seeing multiple psychoanalysts, who do, in the end, set Bechdel on the right path towards her own

identity.
Furthermore, Foer continues this argument of self-limitations when proposing that in terms of the physical characteristics and capabilities of memory itself, humans are in-fact limited. It is suggested that humans can only use 10 percent of their brain’s capacity, meaning that there is another 90 percent that is not being utilized at all. Sadly, humans are limited by this imaginary barrier, repressing our ability to move forward in both evolution and self-creation. Although Foer outlines the many ways throughout history that man has tried to expand their potential, the perfect solution has yet to be found. On the other hand, Foer also suggests that we may be using even less of our already limited potential. This is evident when he says, “Our gadgets have eliminated the need to remember such things anymore (…) These technologies outside our minds have helped make our modern world possible, but they’ve also changed how we think and how we use our brains” (Foer 160). Not only are humans already limited, but they are also limiting themselves even further. Although expanding memory is important, especially for the progression of mankind, by using outside resources and tools, people are lowering the capacity to which they use their brain. Even though self-identity and self-creation will always happen, it can only be thwarted by our ever growing need to move things from within ourselves, to the large real of the external world. Foer and Bechdel are able to outline what is means to have limitations based on oneself and through others, giving weight to the importance of self-creation.
Although the ideas of self-creation, memory, and limitations have all been discussed thus far, there is one more aspect to Bechdel and Foer that bring all three of these together, and that is relationships with others. Bechdel’s entire memoir is essentially based on her mother. It is her struggle to form a strong relationship in which her mother approved and Bechdel is not being limited. Although, Bechdel and her mother did have a good relationship, there are some complications that Bechdel contributes both to her success and failures. Successfully, Bechdel has been able to create a personal life for herself, unsuccessfully, however, her writing suffers because of her mother’s criticisms. It is not that Bechdel’s mother is mean or hurtful, but it seems that simply her characteristics and mannerisms create string that holds Bechdel in one place. Due to this string, Bechdel was forced to spent the beginning half of her life wondering what she could right. It isn’t until the very end, where she realizes what has been holding her back. Bechdel, as if having an epiphany:
My mother composed me as I now compose her. The running tap of her life flows through my fingers. Sometimes there will be a lull and my mother will ask this question: ‘How are you doing?’ Even now, when she poses the question point-blank, I know her attention for my answer is limited. (Bechdel 86).
By writing what her mother is saying, not only is Bechdel able to give content to her memoir, but she is also able to analyze her who mother truly is and how that may have affected her throughout her lifetime. This sudden realization that Bechdel has is the driving force that allows her to move on with her life and let go of any problems she has with her mother.
As Bechdel put everything together to postulate the idea of relationships, Foer did the same but in a less personal way. Writing an article simply about memory and the history of trying to remember more, Foer did not put in an details about his personal life and his relationships with others as Bechdel did. Instead, he generalized a simply idea and how it is affecting people of the present and how it will affect the future generations. One of Foer’s main points of his article was the idea that technology was replacing internal memory. The concept that memory could be stored on an external device rather than within ourselves. This idea is presented when he says, “As more and more of our lives move online, more and more is being captured and preserved in ways that are dramatically changing the relationship between our internal and external memories” (Foer 172). The idea here is that because of our ever growing dependence on technology, one day, our memories may merge with the internet or some external piece of hardware. Was that happens, the relationship between internal and external memory will be strained. Between people, however, relationships wouldn’t exactly change too drastically. There may be times when the ability to recall a certain memory from the past might cause problems, but beyond that, Foer does not go very far to express any other ideas or opinions. Overall, Bechdel and Foer had rather different views on relationship with others in terms of memory, or just in general. Bechdel looked at from a more personal view while Foer saw a generalized, technical perspective.
In the end, both “The Ordinary Devoted Mother,” written by Alison Bechdel, and “The End of Remembering,” by Joshua Foer, show many similar characteristics. These traits are typically shared between the ideas of memory, self-creation, limits, and relationships. Although Bechdel brought a more personal note into her memoir, Foer did an outstanding job in outlining both the history, specifics, and science behind the details of remembering. With that knowledge plus Bechdel’s experiences, one learn a lot about themselves and these two writers.