The Narrator's Paradoxical Ideas

The narrator has explained that the "hole" where he lives is "full of light," because he manages to use energy from Monopolated Light and Power without paying the company for it. He says that this is important because without light he becomes "formless," a state of existence that is like being dead; he then confesses that he only became alive once he "discovered" his invisibility. At first glance, this passage seems to contain two paradoxical ideas: firstly, that the narrator needs light because being formless and invisible is a kind of death, and secondly, that he was not alive until he realized he was invisible.

On closer inspection, however, it is possible to see that these concepts are not in fact contradictory. In the first sentence,

the narrator is referring to the concept of being invisible to himself, and argues that if he does not have a sense of who he is, then he might as well be dead. In the second half of the passage, his focus is on his invisibility to others, and points out that before he acknowledged this was true he was not really alive. This passage therefore confirms the importance of self-possession and self-awareness.

It also highlights the necessity of not living in ignorance of the true nature of reality. Before becoming aware of his "invisibility," the narrator struggled in vain for recognition and justice. However, once he understands the way that racism renders him invisible, he is able to achieve a greater level of autonomy.