The Muse

835 Words2 Pages

He woke with a start, a police siren blaring past the open window. HIs arm waved blindly in the dark searching for the electric alarm clock placed on a pile of old newspapers and magazines. The neon numbers informed his groggy eyes and pounding head that it was 04:30 a.m. His mouth felt like sandpaper and tasted like vomit. He gave a quiet groan, pushed his hands into a dark tangled mess of hair, as though trying to make his head cave in, and maneuvered off the bare mattress onto the floor.

He struggled upright, knocking over a fair few bottles in the process, leaning heavily against the wall for support. His legs were always shaky in the morning. He stumbled along the wall, hands searching for the light switch. The sudden brightness forced his stinging eyes closed. After a few minutes of tightly shut eyes and massaging his temples he squinted his eyes into the light and staggered toward his latest work.

He lurched toward it, not even bothering to avoid the mess of bottles, cans, unwashed clothes, old sketches, pallets and brushes and dirty dishes that littered the room. The canvas was bathed in moonlight making it look ghostly and sad. The light showed the shadows where the paint was so thick it rose off the giant canvas. He ran a calloused hand over the rough, crusty paint. Why did he use acrylic? He should have used water colour: the acrylic was so rough; this wasn’t what he wanted; this wasn’t right. This wasn’t her.

His fingernails dug into the paint, clawing it from the canvas, scratching and scraping until the face on the canvas was unrecognisable, until his breathing was shallow and uneven, until his heart was pounding so fiercely in his chest he feared it might explode, until his fingers were raw and bleeding and unab...

... middle of paper ...

...ged himself toward the mattress, making an attempt to avoid the glass.

He collapsed on the mattress with a grunt. Sitting upright, he pulled a sketch pad and a piece of broken charcoal out of a pile. He drew a picture of himself this time, rather than her. He hadn’t drawn himself in years; it felt alien to him now, almost unnatural. He drew himself back then, back when he was happy, back when his muse was with him. He drew until exhaustion took over.

His vision began to fade as he fell unconscious, black seeping into his eyes until sight was obscured completely. This was when he was happy, when he was able to remember. It was hazy and foggy but at least she was there even if he was forgetting her face. She could never abandon him here. It was him and his muse, nobody and nothing could get in his way. With a final glance at the man he once was, he fell asleep.

Open Document