The Loss of a Life Partner

The Loss of a Life Partner

Introduction

Feelings of loss are very personal because only the person involved in the loss knows what is significant to them. People commonly associate certain losses with strong feelings of grief.

The solitude is always agonizing, especially for someone who has never lived alone. Many people lose their spouses each year. Because the modern society has few mourning rituals other than the memorial service, they may find themselves alone and disconsolate just when they are most in need of comfort.

Different Kinds of Loss

Loss of one’s partner can be due to various reasons including:

· Death of a partner/Bereavement

· Serious or dilapidating illness of a loved one

If you—or your loved one—has become sick or injured, expect a number of physical, emotional and financial changes in your life. Coping with these changes can be very difficbrt, even overwhelming at times, but the following strategies may help:

· Relationship breakup/Separation

Relationship breakup.

This involves losing a partner from a problematic relationship. Although it might seem easier to lose a partner when the relationship has been difficult or unsatisfying, the feelings of dissatisfaction can make the survivor vulnerable to guilt and second thoughts. When he/she remembers the best times of the relationship, self-blame can convince the individual that if he/she had done things differently, they could have had good times. The grief then can be colored easily by regret and guilt. If the survivor's friends and family are aware of the difficulties in the relationship, they may expect the person to quickly move on and they may not support her process of grieving.

We have a cultural prohibition about speaking ill of the dead. Because of this prohibition, the survivor may find no opportunity to talk about the different aspects of her experience because only the positive aspects are acceptable. Also, if she wants to begin a new relationship, she may have difficulty cultivating a positive identity as a partner because of the negative experiences with her lost partner.

Bereavement

Bereavement triggers a normal, natural, healthy process that often leaves the victim/bereaved partner feeling far from normal, natural and healthy. Indeed it can leave you feeling quite mad, suicidal, or even like harming others. Feeling like it for a period of time is one...

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...u can. Something as simple as a home-cooked casserole or cookies is not only helpful, but it also lets people know that you care about them.

· Help a bereaved person to make plans for getting through special occasions such as the first Christmas without his or her spouse. The anniversary of a loss, either a death or divorce, is an especially sad time.

· Do not try to minimize grief

· Talk about your own losses

There's no question about it that loss is a necessary and painful part of life. But perhaps what matters most is that there are ways in which those who love you can help you say good-bye, and deal with loss.

It is very difficult to think about what do when you are experiencing a loss, or want to help someone else who is. Often, even trying to make sense of loss is a daunting task for a person to do alone.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Fisher, Bruce. Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends. Impact Publishers, 1990.

Kilne, S. Nathan, MD. From Sad to Glad. G. P Putnam’s Sons. Toronto. 1994

Shaw, Eva. What to do when a Love One Dies: A Practical and Compassionate Guide to Dealing with Death on Life’s Terms. Dickens Press, California. 1994