It has always been part of human nature to form a bond with another person. These bonds may be as trivial as friendship or as strong as love. Love is very complex; it takes a lot of effort and insight to form love with another person. As complicated as love is, why people form these bonds is even more complicated. There is the more biological reasoning, supported by Barbara Fredrickson in “Love 2.0”, that says people need it to survive. As seen in Susan Faludi’s “The Naked Citadel”, love can also be formed to either replace an old love or guide one or both people. Continually, in Sherry Turkle’s “Alone Together”, people form bonds of love because they love what they nurture. Since love is ingrained in human nature, there is often little choice …show more content…
The cadets at the Citadel feel this loss of love when they leave their mothers behind at the gates. Over the course of a few months, the boys change so much in their love with the upperclassmen that “‘Mothers can’t even tell their sons apart’” (Faludi 98). The Freshman’s new and harsh experiences make them want to latch on to their mothers, but the only people around are the other boys. As a result, they make connections with the upperclassmen because they want the love that they are being deprived of. While the love they form is like the one they had with their mothers, it is not a perfect replacement. Love can also seem unhealthy here because the boys are simply sustaining a love they cannot have. However, their relationship still opens them up for connections with these other boys they may not have had before. The boys need this love so much that it is better to replace it, even if it is not perfect, than to fall into a pit of despair without it. On the other hand, love is not always so easily replaced in the way the cadets replace their mothers. The children in “Alone Together” find that “They don’t like having a new creature in the same egg where their virtual pet has died. For them, the death of a virtual pet is not so unlike the death of what they call a “‘regular pet’” (Turkle 466). To them this love is not replaceable, if it is not the same it is not good enough. However, what makes love so amazing is that people do not need to have the same love with each person. It is why the kids can pick up different Tamagotchi toys but not reset the same one. If they reset the same one they expect the same type of love. Although, if they get a new one, they are simply replacing that love because they want to feel love in general. Replaceable love does not always have to involve the person but it can revolve around changing the type of love they had.
"Romantic love has been the norm since eighteenth-century Europe, when we began connecting marriage with romance." If people did not love each other, then there would be no relationship. Sure, they could try to make it happen, but what would be the point of having the relationship in the first place? If they are trying to escape from something and are not actually motivated by love, they are just creating a new entity to eventually want to escape from. Only love will cause people to remain and stay together in a relationship. According to a study done at Grand Valley State University, titled "The Social Psychology of Love and Attraction", it's true that "shared traits including similarity, religion, ethnic group and race were important features of the other person for over half the participants [in the study]. Each of these traits is linked to a commonality in background. People are subconsciously drawn to others who have the same familial background." This study shows that people do consider factors such as race and cultural identity when seeking a potential partner for a relationship. However, the study also shows that the most important factor in attracting a potential mate is personality. The second most is physical attractiveness. These traits are more important in deciding a potential mate than anything
In the Naked Citadel by Susan Faludi, we are taken into the notorious Citadel were the halls are lined with depictions of stern-faced generals, and where young boys are merely unrecognizable as college students. Where they appear as mere boys dressed in professional cadet attire. Men that have been ruthlessly broken down, and stripped of their egos, by not only their upper class mates, but by faculty. In a relentless manner that was sought by generations of citadel loyalist and alumni in order to shape them into their man hood. However, in the year 1994 not a single female was allowed to attend at least not as a Citadel in uniform. And it would take a strong willed woman to break the long standing traditions and join in an all-male military-type
Technology weeds out the week families and leaves destruction in the eyes of the children who were exposed to family destruction. When a kid gets stuck in a bad family he acquires a different kind of family- not of blood relation but of respect and love relation, but the wounds are supposed to heal from previous experiences of a bad family, but if a ...
Karen, R., (1998). Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love. New York: Oxford Press.
Everybody has certain expectations in which they uphold in todays society. A prime example are women, girls are taught at a young age that beauty was a defined thing that not everyone could have. Adolescents and children are expected to be compliant to their parents. Males are accepted to be muscular and always in control. They’re expected to be the pillar of society, never wrong or feminine. A man is frequently regarded as a downcast if he is seen as weak or crying. Society as a whole does not realize that the public has a remarkable influence on the actions aimed at men. Because of these expectations it is almost mandatory to develop the persona that the society interprets as correct. In The Naked Citadel, written by Susan Faludi, the connection
Robert Nozick’s Love’s Bond is a clear summary of components, goals, challenges, and limitations of romantic love. Nozick gives a description of love as having your wellbeing linked with that of someone and something you love. I agree with ideas that Nozick has explained concerning the definition of love, but individuals have their meaning of love. Every individual has a remarkable thing that will bring happiness and contentment in their lives. While sometimes it is hard to practice unconditional love, couples should love unconditionally because it is a true love that is more than infatuation and overcomes minor character flaw.
Affection and attachment, wanting intimacy and closeness with someone is imprinted in our very DNA. Our true natures are revealed in the existence of our desire for love. When an ill-intentioned external force denies us that desire through the use of fear however, it has the detrimental effect of keeping us locked in prisons of confusion and despair. There is hope, however, that redemption can come by finding affirmation of our individual identity. There is hope in identifying and knowing the true nature of our identities, in being okay with who we are because others are okay with who we are. We love because we were first loved.
The Lais of Marie de France is a compilation of short stories that delineate situations where love is just. Love is presented as a complex emotion and is portrayed as positive, while at other times, it is portrayed as negative. The author varies on whether or not love is favorable as is expressed by the outcomes of the characters in the story, such as lovers dying or being banished from the city. To demonstrate, the author weaves stories that exhibit binaries of love. Two distinct types of love are described: selfish and selfless. Love is selfish when a person leaves their current partner for another due to covetous reasons. Contrarily, selfless love occurs when a lover leaves to be in a superior relationship. The stark contrast between the types of love can be analyzed to derive a universal truth about love.
Love has been instilled as the "sexual desire...or blood ties of kinship...special bond and commitment" by society and mainstream culture and the new knowledge simply interrupt a well established and accepted idea. The reality of the biological aspects gives a demeanor of an attachment of two minds or two bodies parse rather than embodiment of love between two individuals. The experimental reasoning has not only stripped the attraction but sentimental aspect of love . It is often said that when people fall in love their hearts just know and they have a special feeling and that is what most people try to find, the emotion of love. The biology of love seems to detach the emotion from the individual by making love a matter of the brain rather than the heart. Furthermore, the notion behind "love at first sight" looses all meaning; as Fredrickson quotes from a collaborator, there must be "a true meeting of the minds- a single act, performed by two brains" , in essence the brains have to be coupling in order for the connection to truly forge and thus making "love at first sight" a thing of the past. The new insight forces an individual to
Intimacy and love are important factors to interpersonal relationship but as a foundation to not governing and controlling society. Consider a situation of three-person group, or also known as a triad, intimacy and love is not successful majority of time (Freidkin 05/20/10). Take for example, a family of three, a father, mother, son or daughter, has unconditionally love for each other. However, as the teenager grows up, he or she may not always agree with the parents' decisions about their life; and/or vice versa, in which the parents may not like the teenager's lifestyle. This shows that we tend to hold other with high regards and respect when we love another. Also, when we love others, we want the best for them and help them make better decisions to have better relations with the party. In relation to society, intimacy and love are not ideal features because they are too personal; not everyone will let others control their lives and surroundings willingly for strangers. For those who have conflicting beliefs with higher personnel will feel that some choice...
This passage marks the first of several types of love, and gives us an intuitive
Love is a concept that has puzzled humanity for centuries. This attachment of one human being to another, not seen as intensely in other organisms, is something people just cannot wrap their heads around easily. So, in an effort to understand, people write their thoughts down. Stories of love, theories of love, memories of love; they all help us come closer to better knowing this emotional bond. One writer in particular, Sei Shōnagon, explains two types of lovers in her essay "A Lover’s Departure": the good and the bad.
As any romantic will assert, love is by far the most powerful force known to human hearts and minds. This sentiment is espoused throughout history, almost to the point of cliché. Everyone has heard the optimistic statement, “love conquers all,” and The Beatles are certain, however idyllic it may be, that “all you need is love.” Humanity is convinced that love is unique within human emotion, unequalled in its power to both lift the spirit up in throws of ecstasy, and cast it down in utter despair.
Is love an emotion we feel naturally, or is it something that needs to be learned? Is the idea of loving someone a journey in which you grow together, or is there really such a thing as ‘love at first sight’? Vivek Shraya’s narrative She of the mountains and bells hooks’ perspective novel all about love dive into the ideas and definitions of love. Shraya’s novel She of the mountains explores how love is something we learn through experience, how our definition of love can be moulded and changed through those experiences, and how they are correlated to our individual identity and self-love. hooks’ all about love blames society for our reasoning why love fails and how we fail to have a sense of individual identity because of the idea of love
Love is arguably the most powerful emotion possessed by mankind; it is the impalpable bond that allows individuals to connect and understand one another. Pure love is directly related to divinity. Without love, happiness and prosperity become unreachable goals. An individual that possesses all the desired superficial objects in the world stands alone without the presence of love. For centuries love has been marveled by all that dare encounter it. Countless books and poems have been transcribed to explain the phenomenon of love, but love surpasses all intellectual explanations and discussions. Love is not a definition, but rather a thought, an idea. This idea, the idea of love, burns inside us all. Instinctually, every soul on Earth is