The Growing Disconnection Between Mother and Son in Coming Home Again by Chang-Rae Lee

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“Coming Home Again,” written by Chang-Rae Lee, illustrates the relationship of family, particularly a mother who has stomach cancer and a son who is increasingly distancing himself. This profound short story demonstrates the significance of the connection between a mother and a son. Additionally, it establishes and concludes with the negative consequences of their disconnection—regret. A main theme throughout “Coming Home Again” is the connection that cooking authentic Korean food brings the mother and son together. This connection became apparent early on when the author mentions that, as a child, he always stood beside his mother while she was cooking so he could absorb her techniques (3852). The author briefly described one of Korean meal—kalbi—that he watched his mother make. Kalbi is butchered short rib seasoned with Korean spices and sauces; Lee states: “…she thrust her hands in and kneaded the flesh, careful not to dislodge the bones. I asked her why it mattered that they remain connected. “The meat needs the bone nearby,” she said, “to borrow its richness.”” (3852) This directly relates to the mother’s thoughts on the son’s departure to a private boarding school. The mother realizes, as she is dying, that she needs her son nearby because their connection gives her strength. Moreover, even as the son attended Exeter, she drove up with the family for Parent’s Day and provided a plethora of her cooking; the son then noticed that “beneath the face of her worry, I thought my mother was smiling” (3857). No matter how disconnected the son was from the family when he attended a boarding school, when they were together there was an ultimate bonding experience. Additionally, whenever he came home, she made kalbi (3857). As mentio... ... middle of paper ... ...e still ponders this story when he is driving alone on the highway; he still “sees” them sometimes pulled off on the side of the road, which instigates guilt from his past (3858). The significance of the father’s story and “Coming Home Again” is to show the growing disconnection between a son and a mother. All the mother wants is for her son to be more successful than she is, even if she occasionally regrets sending him away to school. Consequently, the son becomes impatient and distant—as most teenagers do—until he matures into an adult and begins to regret the negative attitude he once held towards his mother. Unfortunately, his mother’s early death caused remorse for his negative attitude towards her as a teenager. Nonetheless, he remains connected with her after her cancer-related death through cooking, in which he finds himself cooking the exact way she would.

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