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Stories of bereavement journey
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“Grief does not change you. It reveals you.” - John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
All of us say we want to live everyday like it’s our last, but most of us are just talk. Living everyday like it was my last still wouldn’t compare to the times I’ve already lived to see. Why would I want to jump out of a plane when I’ve already walked hand in hand down paths with an angel? Why would I want to travel the world when I’ve already seen the love inside a pure heart? Living everyday like it’s your last will give you a temporary feeling of adrenaline, but learning to love everyday like it’s your last will give you the permanent feeling like eating McDonald’s with the most important person in your life. Sadly, I don’t remember the first day I met Goldie Baker (well, I was probably two so that explains no recollection), but I sure am glad my mom chose her to raise me. Growing up I spent everyday with Goldie (I’ll call her maw maw now for short), so she knew everything about me and she knew how much I loved a good trip to McDonalds. As a two year old and progressing to be raised by her since the first grade, I never quite realized how she had changed my life
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On --------- , I was the last person to feel my Maw Maw’s beating, living heart against me. Although this experience was traumatic, it was also life changing. It showed me that moving on into my adult life I needed to make a change. That’s when I decided to love everyday like it’s my last. Show love for everyone and overuse the phrase “I love you” because it can never be said enough. I changed as a whole person because I put my eyes on where I wanted to be, how I wanted to get there, and how to show the people with me that I love and appreciate them. I strive everyday to have a heart as pure and as full of love as Maw Maw’s was. Not very many people get to say they’ve been touched by an angel, but I am one of those lucky
When I was twelve years old, a close friend of mine passed away. At first, I didn’t know how to process what was happening. How can someone I’ve known for the majority of my life be gone? But then it finally hit me. My friend was really gone. There would be no more days challenging
Sadly, life is a terminal illness, and dying is a natural part of life. Deits pulls no punches as he introduces the topic of grief with the reminder that life’s not fair. This is a concept that most of us come to understand early in life, but when we’re confronted by great loss directly, this lesson is easily forgotten. Deits compassionately acknowledges that grief hurts and that to deny the pain is to postpone the inevitable. He continues that loss and grief can be big or small and that the period of mourning afterward can be an unknowable factor early on. This early assessment of grief reminded me of Prochaska and DiClemente’s stages of change, and how the process of change generally follows a specific path.
Grief can arise from loss, whether large-scale or small, and may not be easily removed once it takes hold. Because of grief’s obstinate nature, many approaches have been developed in order to handle the repressive, and often painful, effects it can have on people’s lives. One of those approaches is Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’s theory, The Five Stages of Grief. In Sierra Skye Gemma’s essay, “The Wrong Way”, she juxtaposes her own personal experiences with grief against Kübler-Ross’s hypothesis. Gemma uses her confessional, combined with empirical evidence that contradicts the Five Stages of Grief, to demonstrate that feelings of grief are unique to the individual; therefore, there is no right way to mourn.
Uttering the final goodbye is never an easy thing to do. In many cases we never have the chance to say goodbye. Deep in our subconscious, we know our final moments in this world will eventually come. The question that leaves everyone in fear is when our final moments in this world will be, and whether we are able to say goodbye to the ones we love. Literary writers compose great pieces of writing that revolve around death. Sometimes it is not the death of a person, but rather, having something being ripped out of our hands; having no control. Take English poet Anne Bradstreet’s poem, “Upon the Burning of our House, July 10th, 1666,” Bradstreet allows us to feel what she feels; when losing her home, she is rattled with anger towards God, but
Sometimes in the mornings, that's when I mourn. I mourn what I have lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I'm dying. But then I stop mourning. I give myself a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things in life. I don't allow myself any more self-pity than that. (Albom 57)
The conventional belief is that anyone facing imminent death uses his or her final moment to think about those who mean the most in his or her life. While this is nearly impossible confirm, it seems that the overwhelming finality of death would render any subsequent...
All things considered, we realize that we have to live for the moment and hope for the best in the future. Life is full of bittersweet moments and it can be as simple as birth to death, and what I mean by that is, when people die we remember all the good the person has done throughout his life. Although, his death is a bitter moment we then think to all of the good he has done in the world which would be considered the sweet, in
As I grow older, I will attempt to create a life that I can look back on and think, “That was a life worth living.” Recently, my boyfriend’s grandfather passed away. He knew that his last day was near, but he kept saying that he was not sad, for he had lived a long full life (Matthew Morel, personal communication, February 2016). Contrarily, my grandmother, who is still living today, is obviously in a state of
It is common for those experiencing grief to deny the death altogether. Many people do this by avoiding situations and places that remind them of the deceased (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). However, by simply avoiding the topic of death and pain, the mourner only achieves temporary relief while in turn creating more permanent lasting agony (Rich, 2005). In this stage, mourners will begin to feel the full weight of the circumstance. Whether the death of a loved one was sudden or long-term, survivors will feel a full range of emotions, such as sadness, guilt, anger, frustration, hopelessness, or grief. While many of these emotions can cause serious suffering, it is important for the survivor to feel whatever emotions come up and deal with those feelings, rather than trying to suppress any
During the last moments of my mother’s life she was surrounded by loved ones, as she slowly slipped away into the morning with grace and peace.
growing up and the many times she’s comforted me through tough times has formed me into the
As a young girl at 14, I used to reminisce about the future, how badly I wanted to grow up, to drive, to be popular in high school, go to college and land an amazing job, have a huge home, nice cars, and an extremely handsome husband. The older I got, the more I began to realize all of the things I once desired for were not what I truly wanted. I began to realize the value of happiness, adventure, and creating memories rather than the value of temporary popularity, material items, and physical appearances. What I realized was that when one is lying on their deathbed, because the only thing guaranteed in life is death, they will not think, “oh what a lovely car I drove” but rather, “I remember when I went on my first road trip with my friends.” As mentioned in “Tuesdays With Morrie” by Mitch Albom, Morrie emphasizes the idea, “once you learn how to die, you learn how to live,” meaning, remembering that one day we will all depart from this world, one will realize what it truly means to live. Another pointer that can essentially alter one’s vision of living life: to live simply, as discussed in “Where I Lived and What I Live For” by David Henry Thoreau. Although thinking about death is a harsh reality on a young teenager, it is rather helpful to wrap our heads around it at a young age. Why? because as one grows older, they will see more death. Living a simple life may seem boring to a young teenager, but as one grows older and their schedules become bustled with work, and responsibilities, they will wish that they could step back, and choose a simple lifestyle.
• This quote is significant because of my experiences with people passing away. The careful wording and language you speak leaves a significant mark on one’s heart. Describing the process of death is extremely agonizing even when funerals are formal and well planned out events. The ceremony is filled with tears and pain, words cannot fully describe exactly what it feels like. All we can hope for is for them to have a good afterlife.
She always had smile on her face and she would always see the good in people, no matter how they treated her she would always consider them as her friend. I tried several times to tell her not everyone was her and that she needed to be careful, I guess as mother I was only trying to protect her feeling, but, I guess that was her calling as an angel. When my daughter graduated from the eight grade to go into the ninth grade in High School, together we made lots of plans she was anticipating on getting her driver’s license trying out for the dance team and just attending high school itself was the most exciting event in her life, me on the other hand I was nervous about the ideal that my baby was growing up. It was in August 1994 that I took my daughters for their yearly physicals’ before returning back to school.
The sad reality of life is that we start dying the moment we are born. Some die in utero and never see the world. Some live to be 90 and achieve their wildest dreams. Could you imagine taking your own life? During your last minutes of life, you 're alone and scared. Regardless of our life 's results, we must all take that march to a cold plot of dirt alone. Would you wish be to do anything different? Would you take back your last action? Its easy to say you would do things different, but the last seconds of life are to late to wonder. I think that our thoughts before passing are our questions to ourselves like what will my famly do with out me, or will they be ok once I’m gone?