Wait a second!
More handpicked essays just for you.
More handpicked essays just for you.
Don’t take our word for it - see why 10 million students trust us with their essay needs.
Recommended: Coping with after death
According to Stroebe and Schut (1999) grief can be described as a thought process of confronting the loss, going over the events before and during the time of the loss, focusing on the memories and working toward detachment. Central to current ideas is the view that the reality of the loss needs to be dealt with and suppression is an extreme occurrence. Grieving is a natural and important process to successfully adapt to the situation that they are finding themselves in. The dual process model of coping with bereavement was originally used to describe ways that people come to terms with the loss of a close person, but is also potentially applicable to describe other losses. The Dual Process model deals with the Loss-Versus Restoration- Orientation.
I have had the privilege to walk alongside many people on their grief journeys. Throughout my thirty years of assisting others, I have developed a model of grief processing I call the Berafian Model. This model allows me an opportunity to work with various ages as well as cultural backgrounds.
Upon receiving the news that a loved one had died, those left to mourn, called survivors, often find themselves entangled in a complex web of emotions and reactions. The death of a loved one can be a frightening, overwhelming, and painful experience and the physical, psychological, and social effects of loss are articulated through the practice of grief. Grief has been known to be experienced in five stages called the Five Stages of Grief where each phase of the grieving process will go from initial denial to the slow healing of acceptance. However, the devastating aftermath of a loss of a loved one, coupled with the suffering experienced through the five stages of grief can cause the survivor to commit suicide themselves.
Grieving, this word could bring up a millions thoughts, and a whole bunch of memories for one person. Nobody likes to think about the end stage of life, or talking about the passing of a beloved family member, friend, or acquaintance. That this life that we breathe and live everyday will eventually come to an end.
Accepting What’s Not There Have you ever wondered why you feel the way you do after you lose someone? Well that feeling is grief, and the many stages that come with it. Grief is a deep sadness, for the loss of a loved one, especially through death.
It is not easy to cope after a loved one dies. There will be lots of mourning and grieving. Mourning is the natural process you go through to accept a major loss. Mourning may include religious traditions honoring the dead or gathering with friends and family to share your loss. (Mallon, 2008) Mourning is personal and may last months or years.
Individually, everyone has their own methods of dealing with situations and emotions regardless of any positive or negative connotation affixed to them. One prime example of this comes with grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying” suggests that there are five stages of mourning and grief that are universal and, at one point or another, experienced by people from all walks of life. These stages, in no particular order, are as follows: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. Each individual person works through these stages in different orders for varying levels of time and intensity, but most if not all are necessary to “move on.” In order for positive change to occur following a loss, one must come to terms with not only the event but also themselves.
There are many different ways to grieve over the death of loved ones. The way someone grieves is different depending on national origin, but also differs from person to person. These differences are shown in Bharati Mukherjee’s short story “The Management of Grief,” and the film The Namesake.
“The Management of Grief” is a short story written by Bharati Mukherjee. In the story, Mukherjee narrates how the main character, Shaila Bhave, and her friend, Kusum, manage their grief after they realized their husbands and children had died in an Indian Plane Crash. For instance, both Shaila and Kusum undergo the stages of rejection, depression, acceptance, and reconstruction when they cope with the loss of their loved ones. However, they make a distinct choice for reconstructing their lives after they accepted the fact their husbands and children had died. Kusum chooses to returns to India and live in a life of mourning. On the contrary, Shaila decides to return to Canada because she has vision of her husband, who demands her to “finish
Everyone has or will experience a loss of a loved one sometime in their lives. It is all a part of the cycle of life and death. The ways each person copes with this loss may differ, but according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s novel On Death and Dying, a person experiences several stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. There is no set time for a person to go through each stage because everyone experiences and copes with grief differently. However, everyone goes through the same general feelings of grief and loss. There are also sections in Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” that connect to the process of grieving: “On Pain,” “On Joy and Sorrow,” and “On Talking.” Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” reflects on Kübler-Ross’s model of the different stages of grief and loss.
Along with the finding meaning in death, the stages of mourning and healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms is represented through the characters Alfred, Rita, and Asta’s reactions to death. For example, Alfred experiences a stage of denial in the second act when he states “Is it really true then, Asta? Or have I gone completely mad? Or am I only dreaming…”(38). At this point in the play, Alfred expresses confusion and shock since he has not yet created meaning in Eyolf’s death. The effects of Alfred not being able to compartmentalize why Eyolf died causes Alfred to obsess over his absence. Alfred’s obsession is shown when he sits by the fiord, near where Eyolf died, to torment himself in his attempts to focus solely on Eyolf. Furthermore,
"You will have bad times, but they will wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to."- Robin Williams
People cope with the loss of a loved one in many ways. For some, the experience may lead to personal growth, even though it is a difficult and trying time. There is no right way of coping with death. The way a person grieves depends on the personality of that person and the relationship with the person who has died. How a person copes with grief is affected by the person's cultural and religious background, coping skills, mental history, support systems, and the person's social and financial status.
Expected grief is when we see the individual behaving the way we “expect” them to behave when they lose a loved one, which leads to a healthy progression of growth. Complex grief is when the individual reacts to the bereavement in an abnormal and distorted manner, which can lead to reactions of suicide or other abnormal behaviors. What they have in common are the feelings of emotions, such as sadness and possible feelings of denial/anger, and wish for the loved one to return. The differences between the two, are that expected grief eventually accepts the death, preforms coping skills that help overcome the loss, have control of their emotions, and transfer into a normal lifestyle without the loved one. In Complex, the individual experiences
Ambiguous loss is a loss that occurs without closure or understanding. There are two components to this type of loss. The first is that the individual loss may be physically present but psychologically absent. The second is that the individual loss may be physically absent but psychologically present. Perinatal loss does not fall into either category but the loss often leads to the parents feeling confused and without any real sense of closure for the loss. The fetus has either never been alive or it has been alive for a very short period of time. This forces the parents to face both birth and death simultaneously. Perinatal loss is often very obscure with little to no explanation or reasoning as to why it has occurred.
“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” (J.R.R Tolkien, 1955). The manifestation of grief varies from person to person, culture to culture, even religion to religion. However, in each case a few constants remain such as the stages of grief. How does the type of death affect grieving? What about the age grieving person?