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There are many different ways to grieve over the death of loved ones. The way someone grieves is different depending on national origin, but also differs from person to person. These differences are shown in Bharati Mukherjee’s short story “The Management of Grief,” and the film The Namesake. The plane crash of Air India Flight 82 killed many Indian Canadians leaving their loved ones to grieve. Of those left behind Shalia Bhave exemplifies people having different ways of grieving. She has her own way of mourning that is different from Canadians, but does not strictly follow traditional Hindu practices either. Shalia acts cool and unaffected when she mourns differing from most members of her community, who show their emotions to the public. Shalia’s grieving method causes tension between her and the community. This tension is portrayed in Shalia’s conversation with Judith Templeton, a Canadian social worker dealing with relatives of the deceased. Shalia states, “By the standards of the people you call hysterical, I am behaving very oddly and very badly, Miss Templeton” Dr. Ranganathan a widower from Montreal had a positive outlook on the situation and gave Shalia hope. “With some good luck,” Dr.Ranganathan suggests to me, “a good swimmer could make it safely to some island”(Mukherjee 920). Dr. Ranganathan encourages Shalia to throw roses in the water for her loved ones, but she instead wants to throw objects in the water for her sons on the island and a love note for her husband. These items show her hope that her sons are alive and regret that she never told her husband she loved him due to her traditional Indian upbringing. Dr. Ranganathan also identifies photos of deceased children thought to be Shalia’s sons bringing comfort and relief to her. Shalia also mentions how the Irish are more compassionate than Canadians symbolizing how culture influences
At home in Nepal, Ama was Lakshmi’s role model, and even though she wasn’t able to provide Lakshmi with the luxuries that their neighbors had, “her slender back, which bears all troubles- and all hope- was still the most beautiful” to Lakshmi (McCormick 7). Even though she was not dynamic, I fell in love with how she inspired Lakshmi through her trials and her representation of the strong, hard-working women in Nepali culture. There were also a few other static characters, most of which I did not like at all. Her stepfather, Auntie Bimla, Uncle Husband and Auntie Mumtaz were the figures of authority that Lakshmi associated with her tortured existence in India, but in the midst of the hardship, there were characters that provided just as much light to Lakshmi’s life as there was darkness. For example, the young tea vendor lifted Lakshmi’s spirits with his polite gestures of free tea when she couldn’t afford it, as well as keeping her on the right path when Lakshmi was tempted to buy alcohol to soothe her misery (McCormick 224). Along with Lakshmi’s friend Shahanna, he too was taken away and I was convinced of Lakshmi’s impending doom even more than she herself probably was. All seemed dark until the second American came with his “digital magic”. By using his camera to show her pictures of rescued girls, this brave man was able to convince Lakshmi
I have had the privilege to walk alongside many people on their grief journeys. Throughout my thirty years of assisting others, I have developed a model of grief processing I call the Berafian Model. This model allows me an opportunity to work with various ages as well as cultural backgrounds.
In “The Shawl” a family of five gets separated and faces a horrible loss. This horrible loss is the loss of a nine year old girl’s life. The first father mentioned in the story, that has tuberculosis, finds the nine year old girl’s shawl torn to pieces in the snow. The father pictures the girl’s death as her own mother, Aanakwad, throwing the girl over the edge of the wagon...
...el to Calcutta that summer to see their relatives and scatter Ashoke’s ashes in the Ganges” (Lahiri 188). Gogol seemed to need so much distance that it was worth parting from Maxine for. Tragedy can change our identities in a heartbeat, whether it’s to our true identity or someone we’re not.
The death of a loved one can be tragic. It often alters how people think, feel, and act. Some people withdraw from life, some move closer to God, and some appear to lose their minds. Shakespeare’s Hamlet and Samuel Johnson both lost someone very close to them, but found very different ways to deal with their losses.
...ral differences in patterns of behavior and of social support includes each culture’s sense of what is sane and healthy, as opposed to life- and health-threatening. Thus, what people do protects the bereaved and in some senses everyone around the bereaved form. The cross-cultural emphasis, in fact, is a kind of metaphor. To help effectively, we must overcome our presuppositions and struggle to understand people on their own terms (i.e., not having the intention or the reason why the man placed a rose over Bella J. Bhukhan’s name).
Traditions control how one talks and interacts with others in one’s environment. In Bengali society, a strict code of conduct is upheld, with dishonor and isolation as a penalty for straying. Family honor is a central part to Bengali culture, and can determine both the financial and social standing of a family. Usha’s family poses no different, each member wearing the traditional dress of their home country, and Usha’s parents diligently imposing those values on their daughter. Those traditions, the very thing her [Usha] life revolved around, were holding her back from her new life as an American. Her mother in particular held those traditions above her. For example, when Aparna makes Usha wear the traditional attire called “shalwar kameez” to Pranab Kaku and Deborah’s Thanksgiving event. Usha feels isolated from Deborah’s family [Americans] due to this saying, “I was furious with my mother for making a scene before we left the house and forcing me to wear a shalwar kameez. I knew they [Deborah’s siblings] assumed, from my clothing, that I had more in common with the other Bengalis than with them” (Lahiri ...
Imagine that the person you love most in the world dies. How would you cope with the loss? Death and grieving is an agonizing and inevitable part of life. No one is immune from death’s insidious and frigid grip. Individuals vary in their emotional reactions to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve (Huffman, 2012, p.183), it is a melancholy ordeal, but a necessary one (Johnson, 2007). In the following: the five stages of grief, the symptoms of grief, coping with grief, and unusual customs of mourning with particular emphasis on mourning at its most extravagant, during the Victorian era, will all be discussed in this essay (Smith, 2014).
Nilanjana Sudeshna Lahiri, an Indian by descent, was born in London in August 1967, to a Bengali immigrant Indian parents. “Jhumpa” is the nickname easier for the teachers remember his name. The Lahiri family moved from England to Rhode Island when Jhumpa was two years old. Her father was a librarian at Rhode Island University and her mother was a school teacher. At age of seven, Lahiri started to embrace writing about what she saw and felt. While growing up, Lahiri lived two lives: An Indian at home and An American outside of the home. Despite of living most of their life in the western world, Lahiri’s parents called “Calcutta” their home unlike Lahiri who thought Rhode Island as her hometown. Lahiri always felt her family had a different li...
Looking back on the death of Larissa’s son, Zebedee Breeze, Lorraine examines Larissa’s response to the passing of her child. Lorraine says, “I never saw her cry that day or any other. She never mentioned her sons.” (Senior 311). This statement from Lorraine shows how even though Larissa was devastated by the news of her son’s passing, she had to keep going. Women in Larissa’s position did not have the luxury of stopping everything to grieve. While someone in Lorraine’s position could take time to grieve and recover from the loss of a loved one, Larissa was expected to keep working despite the grief she felt. One of the saddest things about Zebedee’s passing, was that Larissa had to leave him and was not able to stay with her family because she had to take care of other families. Not only did Larissa have the strength to move on and keep working after her son’s passing, Larissa and other women like her also had no choice but to leave their families in order to find a way to support them. As a child, Lorraine did not understand the strength Larissa must have had to leave her family to take care of someone else’s
Everyone has or will experience a loss of a loved one sometime in their lives. It is all a part of the cycle of life and death. The ways each person copes with this loss may differ, but according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s novel On Death and Dying, a person experiences several stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. There is no set time for a person to go through each stage because everyone experiences and copes with grief differently. However, everyone goes through the same general feelings of grief and loss. There are also sections in Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” that connect to the process of grieving: “On Pain,” “On Joy and Sorrow,” and “On Talking.” Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” reflects on Kübler-Ross’s model of the different stages of grief and loss.
It is common for those experiencing grief to deny the death altogether. Many people do this by avoiding situations and places that remind them of the deceased (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). However, by simply avoiding the topic of death and pain, the mourner only achieves temporary relief while in turn creating more permanent lasting agony (Rich, 2005). In this stage, mourners will begin to feel the full weight of the circumstance. Whether the death of a loved one was sudden or long-term, survivors will feel a full range of emotions, such as sadness, guilt, anger, frustration, hopelessness, or grief. While many of these emotions can cause serious suffering, it is important for the survivor to feel whatever emotions come up and deal with those feelings, rather than trying to suppress any
Modern psychology describes five stages of grief that people go through when confronted with tragic circumstances. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This system was devised by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler in their collaborations on death, dying and grieving. The fact that these stages are experienced by so many shows that grief is a universal process. The term universal means that people anywhere in the world and at any time in history share the same feelings and psychological experiences. Though people experience loss in unique ways, they experience the grieving process in the same way, and the five stages are a universal process in coping with the loss. Oskar Schell, the nine year old protagonist of Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” is the central figure in an exploration of the stages of grief. After Oskar’s father Thomas is killed in the World Trade Centre attacks on September 11th, 2001, the boy goes on a transformative journey through New York City, searching for clues to a lock, as well as searching for a way to make a better world reborn out of horror. Certain parts of the novel’s plot, as well as certain characters, are representative of the five stages of grief, and we will see that Oskar makes the necessary and universal trip through the grieving process and comes out at the end a more understanding and healing person.
People cope with the loss of a loved one in many ways. For some, the experience may lead to personal growth, even though it is a difficult and trying time. There is no right way of coping with death. The way a person grieves depends on the personality of that person and the relationship with the person who has died. How a person copes with grief is affected by the person's cultural and religious background, coping skills, mental history, support systems, and the person's social and financial status.
The Das parents’ negligent relationship with their children in Clear Light of Day mirrors India’s independence from Britain. Before their deaths, Mr. and Mrs. Das were preoccupied and inattentive to their four children, Raja, Tara, Bim, and Baba. They spent most of their time at the club, playing “their daily game of bridge” (Desai 50). This pastime is so important to them that they neglect to take care of their kids. For example, Mrs. Das tires of “washing and powdering” Baba, her mentally disabled baby, and she complains, “My bridge is suffering” (103). Mr. Das also does not focus on his children and “he [goes] through the day without addressing a word to them” (53). Unfortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Das are unable to ever form a loving relationship with their children because they both pass away. After Mrs. Das falls into a...