Tabita Enciu: A Domestic Abuse Survivor

Tabita Enciu, a Domestic abuse survivor, explains her traumatizing event during the interview with Charlene Sharpe, a staff writer for Delmarvanow.com “She was breastfeeding her daughter when he grabbed her by the neck and threw her out of the chair she'd been sitting in. She hit the floor hard” (Sharpe, 2014). Enciu goes on to explain how even after so many years she is still reminded of that horrible incident. Enciu recalls as the event happened, her daughter was a newborn. “She didn't brace herself against the fall. Instead, she cradled her 3-week old daughter, doing what she could to shield the newborn from her boyfriend and his temper” (Sharpe, 2014). Terror and fear are what Enciu was exposed to, yet, years later the emotional event

lingers in her heart as a reminder of the abuse she has escaped. Enciu’s story is just one amongst thousands of victims who are suffering at this very moment from domestic abuse and the implications of PTSD. “One in four women will experience abuse in her lifetime, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence” (Landry Laviolett, 2014). Trauma from any source can cause victims to feel isolated and withdrawn. There are many faces of DA and it just does not include yelling or pushing. DA can have greater scars to the victim’s emotional stability. “Domestic violence does not only - or even mostly – consist of acts of physical violence, although these are often present. It includes psychological and emotional tactics, including threats, isolation, and undermining self-confidence” (Pain, 2014). DA can cause emotional triggers to victims causing flashbacks and never the less, the victim is captured as prey to very dark implications of PTSD.
“Several pre-trauma risk factors for PTSD have been identified in different populations. Females are at higher risk for PTSD than males. For most traumatic events, women showed a greater risk for developing PTSD than men” (Sareen, 2014). PSTD is a mental illness that occurs in people after a traumatic event in their lives. PTSD can happen shortly after the traumatic event or can happen months later. Traumatic events such as loss of a child, robbery, war, rape and domestic abuse from physical to emotional can trigger PTSD in women. When survivors have episodes, it can consume the survivor emotionally and at times physically. Such episodes can confuse survivors for what is sensible and true. Trust can become an issue with loved ones.
When leaving a domestic abusive relationship, it can be troubling for victims.

Victims can feel like they are alone, no self-worth. They feel like the abuser is the only one who will take care of them. Sometimes women will stay in the abusive relationships for years before they gain strength to leave. Women can go on to a new relationship, but the impact of the domestic abuse may linger, bringing trust and intimacy issues into the new relationship. Gwynett Machell Town from Walden University did suggest that there are psychological consequences after the abuse has occurred, which can be emotional disinterest, anxiety, depression, fear of intimacy, trust concerns, lack of self-respect, which correlates to the symptom of PTSD (Town,

2012).
“Making the decision to leave often results in negative consequences, especially initially after leaving the abusive relationship” (Bracken, 2008). When victims decide to leave the abusive relationship, victims may not realize that there are risks associated with domestic abuse and how it can transmute into PTSD. The impacts of the trauma can have a life altering impact on the survivor’s life and on her loved ones. “Leaving may not only result in the immediate escalation of violence, but may also have other long-term consequences that may threaten or even end her life or the life to which she has been accustomed”(Bracken, 2008). The consequences to PSTD can be unforgiving if left untreated. A world of chaos and confusion can set in causing emotional breakdown of survivor’s emotional and social well-being. Seeking counseling to begin the healing process not only will help the survivor overcome the anxieties of PSTD, but will also help the family cope and heal with the survivor. Mitigating the anxieties caused from PTSD through therapy can help the survivor return back to a normal life with family and friends. Learning to love and trust is part of the healing process for the entire family. “PTSD symptoms can cause a person to act in ways that may be hard for family members to understand. Their behavior may appear erratic and strange or be upsetting” (Tull, 2014). During the healing process, it is highly important that both survivors and family understand the complications of the trauma. Families and the survivor need to be educated when PTSD is triggered; the survivors are re-experiencing symptoms of flashbacks. It is a learning process as well as the healing process for the entire family. “The family can either positively or negatively impact on a loved one's PTSD symptoms. The first step in living with and helping a loved one with PTSD is learning about the symptoms of PTSD and understanding how these symptoms may influence behavior” (Tull, 2014).
Starting a new life without the abuser can be disconcerting for the victims in innumerable ways. I lived in a world of darkness for six years of being tormented in hell, my abuser’s hell, which consisted of name calling, threats, bruises and the forced intimacy. The abuse needed to come to an end for my own survival. When I finally gained the strength to leave an abusive relationship after six years I felt terror for what he might do. How would he react? How will I survive financially? Where I will stay, what will I do? These were questions I asked myself daily until I took back my strength and decided to leave the relationship. Years later, I re-married and happen to come across the ex-abuser. My hell started and I began a vicious cycle of PTSD that impacted my relationship with my husband and my family. That one flashback caused me trust issues, fear of intimacy, lack of self-worth and severe depression. I would stay in my room and cry; I couldn’t bring myself to take care of my family. When my husband tried to be intimate with me, I would become enraged and fear and panic set in. Ultimately this would cause me to isolate myself from friends and family. I needed help. My family needed help. We need to heal together. We just didn’t know how to heal or where to begin.
“Unresolved trauma can negatively affect reactions to others and the ability to trust, and can cause great tur- moil in a marriage relationship” (Bryant, 2014).l When episodes of trauma begin, it is important that the victim seeks immediate help to begin the healing. When families are involved they are suffering and can be victims. With the right course of therapy, the victim and families can gain control and begin to start to lead stable lives. “Complex trauma treatment models are strengths-based and empowerment-focused, viewing individuals as survivors rather than as victims, and promoting therapeutic collaboration and choice” (Warshaw, 2013, Sullivan, 2013, Rivera, 2013). In order for any therapy to work and for the healing process to begin, the victim has to be free of the abuse and the abuser. The victim has to also make the choice with the help of her loved ones to decide and make the choice to heal. “Survival and empowerment are powerful components of recovery and healing” (Dutton, 1992). There are different avenues of therapy from which a victim and her family can choose from. Some alternatives to therapy are psychotherapeutic approach, a holistic approach, which can include healing rituals, body work, medicinal, private therapy, family counseling, hypnosis, and group therapy. Some survivors find that therapy alone is not enough to overcome the mayhem of PTSD. Some of the different therapeutic approaches can be combined for a more robust healing process for the victim to overcome the PTSD symptoms and not live in fear. “Recovery from the psychological wounds incurred from victimization, whether short-term or over the course of a lifetime requires healing of the whole person” (Dutton, 1992). The victim cannot heal on her own; it takes strength, patience and will from her family to help with the support. The support and the love from family members must be part of the intervention. However; there are times where the help of family or even therapy alone are not enough for the survivor to overcome the mayhem. At times, medication would be needed as part of the healing process. However; medicine should not be used as the only therapy, nor is it for everyone. “The use of medication, even for a relatively short period of time, should be carefully considered against the potential risk involved. Providing a safe environment may have considerably more impact on reducing acute posttraumatic stress reaction than medication” (Dutton, 1992). Medication does not cure PTSD, but only minimizes the effects of anxiety or panic. Medications do not stop flashbacks or stop triggers that set PTSD. “If symptoms are severe enough to prevent effective trauma-focused therapy, pharmacotherapy is warranted as a next step. Pharmacotherapy and psychotherapy have been shown to alleviate the three clusters of PTSD symptoms” (Lange, Lange, Cabaltica, 2000).
I am a survivor of domestic abuse and a survivor of PTSD.

My family and I are continuously healing from my scars on my heart and the damages that were placed upon my spirit. The intervention wasn’t easy to choose from. It took many hours, days and months to regain back my skills to function normally. I needed to learn to live, love and trust as many survivors have had to do. Although I had chosen the medicinal path as part of my therapy course, my family learned how to provide a safe haven for me as well. My therapy was educational for myself and for my husband. We both needed to understand the PTSD in order to move forward with our healing process. Since then, I have been able to reduce my medication with the continuance of therapy and my family being my support system. The healing process is never ending with someone who suffers from PTSD caused by domestic abuse. Like many other survivors of DA and PTSD, I needed to understand what can trigger my episodes and how to handle those moments of vulnerability through therapy. There are many women in the world who are suffering at this very moment from the implications of domestic abuse and PTSD. Gregory C. Scott president & CEO of New Directions for Veterans makes a statement how we need to understand that it is not just veterans who can suffer from acts of violence. He reminds the world that violence can happen to anyone, any race and to any gender. “While there is certainly war happening in foreign lands, we

can't ignore the domestic violence wars in many of our homes. Let's sound the alarm, and protect helpless victims while rallying help for those who perpetuate such violence” (Scott, 2014). Let us not forget the impacts that domestic abuse and PTSD can have on loved ones. They are our neighbors, friends, family or co-workers. They are people we care for who need to heal.