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We all lie in one way or another. Whether it is a simple white lie about how someone really looks or blaming someone else for something we really did, we all have lied. In Stephanie Ericsson’s essay, “The Ways We Lie”, she explains the ways people lie in order to get what they want, to stay out of trouble, or just to hide from the cold hard truth. Ericsson explains how is it nearly impossible to go without telling a lie and how lies affect others. After evaluating Ericsson’s essay on the many ways we lie, I can say I am most guilty of the telling whites and lying by omission.
To begin, white lies are the most common. We all remember as kids how our parents never told us that Santa Claus didn’t exist. I actually found out Santa Claus didn’t exist because I snuck out of my room on Christmas Eve when I was six and found my mother still wrapping presents at midnight. However, my mother never felt guilty about lying because she did not want her little girl to find out the truth. Even after finding out he wasn’t real, I never told my mother I knew the
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truth. These are the lies we tell to keep from hurting others’ feelings. For instance, when I was in eighth grade, my grandfather bought tickets to a golf tournament. Even though I hated golf, I just couldn’t see myself saying no to him. Growing up, my brothers and I spent a lot of time with our grandparents after school when my mother was at work. I don’t think anyone would want to go to their grandparents’ house after an eight-hour school day and sit in front of the TV to watch the golf channel. However, I was close with my grandfather, and everything he liked, he thought I would like it just as much. When the day of the tournament came, it took everything in me just to get dressed. The tournament lasted all day, and I hated every minute watching it. Anything would have been better than going to that tournament, but I told my grandfather I had a great time because I couldn’t tell him how much I hated it. These are the types of lies I am the most guilty of because I simply care about others’ feelings and don’t want to let them down. In addition, another example of a white lie I’ve told was to a complete stranger.
I was downtown Savannah with my friends one weekend, and I came across this girl who told us she was an up-and-coming artist. After talking to us for a few minutes, she insisted that we listen to her music. I didn’t want to be rude, so I said sure. She pulled up her YouTube account to show us one of her songs. Needless to say, the song was horrible. The entire song was bad, from the lyrics to the beat, everything was just off. After listening to the first minute of the song, I was ready for it to be over. After the song finished, she asked me what I thought. Even though the song was horrible, I didn’t want to tell her how bad the song was because I didn’t want to offend her. Therefore, I told her that the song was good and that I would check out more of her music. I never saw her again, and I’m pretty sure her music career went
nowhere. Furthermore, the second lie I am most guilty of is lying by omission. Ericsson states, “the cruelest lies are often told in silence” (Ericsson). Omission involves telling somewhat of the truth, but leaving out key facts. For example, over Christmas break in the eleventh grade, I got a speeding ticket just one week after getting my license. Needless to say, my mom was furious. One month after that incident, I got another speeding ticket. When I got home, my mom jokingly asked me if I got another ticket. Ericsson says, “you break a pair of glasses that are guaranteed under normal use and get a new pair without mentioning that the first pair broke during a rowdy game of basketball” (Ericsson). There was absolutely no way I was telling her the truth without getting in big trouble. Just a few days before, my brother told my mom that he was coming home from his duty station. I was not going to ruin that for her, and I definitely did not want to get in trouble. On top of that, I had just got a job at the mall and it was sad that I had to spend my first paycheck on that ticket. I am not sure how, but she still has no clue about that ticket till this day. I lie just like any other human being, simply because telling the truth all the time just doesn’t play out the best in all situations. In Ericsson’s essay, she makes several interesting points about how some lies can affect others and about the consequences behind them. I learned that I am guilty of lying for the good and the bad. I lie to others because I don’t want to hurt their feelings. I also lie to keep myself out of trouble. Finally, no matter how hard I try to tell the honest truth, I still don’t think I could go a day without telling just one tiny lie.
In The Ways We Lie, Stephanie Ericsson expresses the inevitability of lying and the way it is casually incorporated into our everyday lives. She personally brings light to all the forms of lying and some that are often not recognized as a lie. Ericsson questions the reasons and validity behind lies by highlighting the effects and consequences.
Richard Gunderman asks the question, "Isn 't there something inherently wrong with lying, and “in his article” Is Lying Bad for Us?" Similarly, Stephanie Ericsson states, "Sure I lie, but it doesn 't hurt anything. Or does it?" in her essay, "The Ways We Lie.” Both Gunderman and Ericsson hold strong opinions in regards to lying and they appeal to their audience by incorporating personal experiences as well as references to answer the questions that so many long to confirm.
Although it is considered wrong to tell lies, it seems that literature has offered us situations where telling lies isn’t necessarily bad. Of course, lying often has a tragic outcome, but not always for the person or people who told the lie or lies. Oftentimes, these unfortunate outcomes are directed at the person about whom the lie was told. Furthermore, these stories have explained that dishonesty can result in success for both the liar and the target. Maybe we have been teaching the wrong values to our children.
White lies are usually used to prevent the hurting of someone’s feelings. In The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time Christopher’s father uses white lies to deceive Christopher without establishing more questions about Christopher’s mother's flee. In everyday life, people lie extremely often, causing it to be difficult to tell when someone is actually lying. According to Pamela Meyer, “Lying's complex. It's woven into the fabric of our daily and our business lives. We're deeply ambivalent about the truth...We're against lying, but we're covertly for it in ways that our society has sanctioned for centuries and centuries and centuries. It's as old as breathing. It's part of our culture, it's part of our history.”(Meyer 4:59) In fact, the reason behind Christopher believing his father’s lies is because they are familiar in a way. Ed lies to Christopher, because of habit more than to protect anyone. Although, Christopher’s father used mostly white lies to protect Christopher from the harsh truth, he does it because of the emotion that goes along with them. Even though Christopher has a difficult time showing emotion he becomes upset. According to Paul Ekman in Lying and Deception, “Lies are also betrayed by signs of emotions. The simplest case is one in which the liar attempts to convincingly fabricate an emotion that is not felt. Few people are very good at this, although most of the time people get away
Are everyday rituals, such as, facades reflected as to being a lie? Simply preparing for a meeting or interview does not come off as lying, although another type of façade such as when someone asks, “Are you okay,” after a death of someone close to you, in reality it is a form of a lie, because you are not being honest. In Stephanie Erricsson’s article “The Ways We Lie,” she discusses many different types of lying, that most wouldn’t even consider. Ericsson claimed, “But façades can be destructive because they are used to seduce others into an illusion” (409). Depending how a façade is used, the outcome can be beneficial or damaging. There are facades that are used to cover up one’s true feelings, in order to protect an individual and then there is a type in which one puts on a mask to cover up how awful of a person they are. Charity, a former friend, deceived me with the qualities of everything she was not, my mom is a great example of when it comes to hiding when she is saddened. In this article “The Ways We Lie,” Stephanie Ericsson has a great point of view on the destructiveness of facades, although, it can very well be used in a good way just as much as in a bad way, in fact, like my protective mother, using facades for mine and my sisters own good and then a conniving friend using facades in
Ericsson's article is clearly about the way people lie, mainly whether the manner in which people lie to others is to make the other’s life easier or their own life easier. People lie every day, whether in simple white lies or more complex lies. Ericsson describes white lies, the most popular lies. She uses an example, how a friend told her another friend looked good when, in fact, she did not look good. People use these types of lies daily to avoid confrontation. “The liar deciding what is best for the lied to” (Ericsson #). Anyone can use them, children to parents, friend to friend, students to teachers, boyfriend to girlfriend, etc. A white lie is a good way to keep oneself out of trouble. Ericsson thinks white lies are so common because the truth is more dangerous than a simple lie. However, the lie may seem simple and part of daily life, but Ericsson points out that it is not always so simple. Telling a white lie may benefit to you in the short term, but if for a...
In “The Ways We Lie”, Ericsson describes the different types of lies: white lie, facades, ignoring
In the short story The Ways We Lie, Stephanie Ericsson describes many different categories of lies. She first starts out explain the little white lie, describing it as a lie which is told when trying to avoid hurting someone. An example she gives in the text is, “telling a friend he looks great when he looks like hell can be based on a decision that the friend needs a compliment more than a frank opinion”(Ericsson, 2004, 121). Ericsson then describes facades, facades according to the Ericsson is when a person shows you what they want you to see, but it’s not the real them. Stating “facades can be destructive because they are used to seduce others into an illusion” (Ericsson, 2004, 122). A perfect example of facades are when a person has to
In “The Truth about Lying” Judith Viorst explains the four different kinds of lying. She categorizes lies as social lies, peace-keeping lies, protective lies, and trust-keeping lies. Social lies are lies that are “acceptable and necessary”, they are the little white lies most people use all the time. Peace keeping lies are told when the liar is trying to protect themselves from getting in trouble or causing any conflict. The protective lies are far more serious, are often told because of fear that the truth would be “too damaging” for the person being lied to. Lastly, there are the trust keeping lies, which are lies in which the liar is lying for a friend in order to keep a promise. Viorst finds that most of these lies, while some are more acceptable than others, are necessary and she can understand them.
Stephanie Ericsson’s The Ways We Lie, analyzes and reflects on how lying has simply become the norm in our society. We all lie, there is not one person in the world that does not lie. Most people lie because they are afraid of telling the truth, however what they do not know is telling a lie can lead them in the wrong direction because many things can happen when lying to a person. The person can find out when everything unravels that person will not have trust in you and you would be known as a liar. To every action there is a consequence, so why not deal with just one consequence when telling the
In “The Ways We Lie” by Stephanie Ericsson, the author uses her knowledge to talk about the different ways of lies and how those lies affect the liar, as well as the people who had been told lies. According to the author’s essay, there are 10 types of lies that people encounter every single day: the White Lie, Facades, Ignoring the Plain Facts, Deflecting, Omission, Stereotypes and Cliches, Groupthink, Out-and-Out Lies, Dismissal, and Delusion. Throughout the essay, it is connoted that people are lying in various ways even though they are not intended to. I had been taught that lying is a bad habit. According to Ericsson, there are many types of lie and I did three of them in my life: the White Lie, Omission, and Out-and-Out Lies; however, I can defend my lies for good purposes.
Lying is simply an act of not telling the truth, and this definition of lying will be used in future sections of this paper. There are three groups of lies t...
When initially asked about the morality of lying, it is easy for one to condemn it for being wrong or even corrupt. However, those asked are generally guilty of the crime on a daily basis. Lying is, unfortunately, a normal aspect of everyday life. In the essay “The Ways We Lie,” author Stephanie Ericsson makes note of the most common types of lies along with their consequences. By ordering the categories from least to most severe, she expresses the idea that lies enshroud our daily lives to the extent that we can no longer between fact and fiction. To fully bring this argument into perspective, Ericsson utilizes metaphor, rhetorical questions, and allusion.
White lies are defined as diplomatic or well-intentioned deception. There are many different types of white lies that are told, such as, lies of flattery for example; if someone gives another person a gift and the gift was not what the person wanted, this person would reply “thank you so much! I just love it!” This type of white lie is told because telling someone that their gift was undesirable would make the teller look like an inconsiderate being.
Almost everyone, eventually, will lie. Actually, a few people, dismal to state, lie constantly. Even the youngest children will lie, particularly because they think by lying they will not be disciplined for their actions.