In his essay, published in They Say / I Say, “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All,” Richard Dorment, armed with facts found in surveys of millions of Americans, argues that men fully support their household responsibilities. Over the past 70 years, there has been a significant shift in the work-life balances of both men and women. In that time, men were the breadwinners in America, and that they would do all the work with a woman at home raising the children. This view has changed drastically since the 1960s, as now men and women are both in the workplace and tasked with a balance of work and family-raising. In his essay, Richard Dorment takes on the argument that men don't do their parts equally in their households armed with facts found in surveys of millions of Americans. Although popular belief tends to lean towards a reality …show more content…
in which women do most of the housework, Richard Dorment challenges this belief with powerful arguments and an abundance of facts. Dorment takes the initiative to refute abnormal facts and cites well-produced surveys to enforce his arguments repeatedly. In the research journal Sex Roles article, “Time, Money, or Gender? Predictors of the Division of Household Labour Across Life Stages” states the following; “Many studies have empirically tested whether time, resource, or gender-based factors are the strongest predictors of the division of household labour. Bianchi and colleauges' time diary data generally supported all three theories, with effects strongest for time availability (e.g., being unemployed) and gender (e.g., being a married woman) variables in predicting more housework responsibility (Horne, Johnson, Galambos, 2017). Throughout the essay, Dorment has placed his case primarily against the statements of several other strong-standing figures in the realm of modern household equality. One of these figures is former State Department policy chief, Anne-Marie Slaughter who places the argument that several things are having to do with the workplace and how society is structured that prevents women from achieving a perfect, happy life, with men having an advantage over them. The other major figure that Dorment compares his arguments to is Facebook's COO, Sheryl Sandberg, who believes that men are plenty ahead in society but do not do enough to help women out in the household (Dorment, 2017, p. 700). Throughout his essay, the author does his best to make sure that everything he says either challenges an unproven fact or is backed up by a statistic. Richard Dorment used facts and statistics directly cited in his essay to explain that, yes, there is an inequality between men and women when it comes to raising kids concluding that the "total weekly workload" of men compared to women is forty-eight hours compared to forty-nine hours respectively (Dorment, 2017).
This total weekly workload is an accumulated amount of unpaid work at home and paid work outside the home based on a good study by the Pew Research Center. Dorment repeatedly uses these statistics from important surveying/data collecting organizations to back up his arguments and to put meaning to his words. Often, Dorment takes his opponents arguments such as "What about having more husbands step up and take the major load?" a question posed by Gail Collins on a The New York Times blog, “Lean In,” and refutes them with by comparing the statement to the fact that males often do take part in a significant load of out-of-home work and try their best to do their part in their own homes as well (Dorment, 2017). Richard Dorment repeatedly uses these comparisons paired with proven research to entice the reader to fall behind in his
stance. Along with refuting arguments side by side with facts, the author also brings to attention robust, unrealized statistics in the realm of blaming men solely for women being behind in society. One exuberant fact that Dorment poses is that in dual-income couples, men are reportedly less happy compared to women (87% satisfied compared to 93%) (Dorment, 2017). That statistic is not as far out there as it seems when it is realized that men tend to work more out of the house, causing a more exhausting work-life balance. Another fact that Dorment analyzed was that men were observed having more interference between work and family in 2008 compared to a previous survey in 1977 that showed that they had a less interference between the two. In 2008, it was reported that 60% of men having work-family related troubles versus women only admitting having work-family problems 47% of the time (Dorment, 2017). In an article written by Susan Kelly for the Cornell Chronicle, she states that “Working-class couples who buck convention and live together rather than marry take on traditional roles when it comes to housework, according to a new study by a Cornell sociologist” (Kelley, 2013.) In a 2011 study from Boston College, more than 65 percent of fathers said that men and women should contribute equally to childcare (Issit, 2014). Facts and unique arguments were used in plenty by Richard Dorment in his essay, painting the picture that the stereotype of men doing less for their families at home than women is irrational and illogical. All in all, Richard Dorment's essay presents the repeated use of statistics and side by side comparisons to illustrate his point that though women can't have every advantage in life that they want, neither can men. All throughout the essay, Dorment refers to modern surveying and data collecting organizations to show that the points he argues are based upon tried fact and new bases. The use of modern data, surveys, and logical reasoning put an emphasis on how relevant and powerful the argument the author is making truly is. Dorment also compares the arguments of his opponents to his own tied with logic to emphasize the point and how the sides relate and differ. "Why Men Still Can't Have It All" explains the differences between the work and family lives of men and women thoroughly and argues the point that men and women in modern society both try to do their fair share in most cases and that is tried and true.
Hope Edelman, an author and newspaper writer, formulates in “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was.”, that when it comes to marriage it is not perfect, unlike the way that she had imagined. At the beginning of her essay, Edelman implicitly mentions her frustrations with the amount of time her husband was working, however, later on she explicitly becomes upset about her husband always working. Edelman mentions throughout her essay that before marriage, she believed co-parenting was an attainable goal. She talks about how she feels like her husband keeps working more and she has to pick up the slack at home. This imbalance causes Edelman to become angry and frustrated with her husband, she feels the no matter how hard they try, the 50/50 split does not happen. Throughout the article, Edelman
The inability to achieve “work-life balance” has become a major focus for workplace equality activists. When this topic is brought about it is primarily used to describe how woman cannot have a work and home life but instead are forced to choose. Richard Dorment took on this point of interest from a different perspective in his article “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All” published with esquire. Going against the normal trend he describes how women are not the only ones put into the same sacrificial situations, but instead that men and women alike struggle to balance work and home. Dorment opens up by saying “And the truth is as shocking as it is obvious: No one can have it all.” In doing so Richard Dorment throws out the notion that one
What does it mean to “have it all”? We live in a society where the consensus agrees with Anne-Marie Slaughter who defines “have it all” in her essay “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” as having both career value and family value. However, it should really about individual’s contentment. Many are struggling to find a satisfying career and hoping to get by day by day; so to have it all by society’s definition is nearly impossible. But with individual’s contentment, it is a contingency that anyone can have it all.
Dorment goes into personal detail by describing how his spouse might refold the laundry after he does it himself, or clean again after he does it. This is no longer a matter of a man not willing to step-up, but instead the personality of the relationship shining through. On an emotional note, women often find it harder to be away from their children which leaves heavily emotional baggage placed on work decisions (709). This can be chalked up to social conditioning, genetic predisposition, or emotional shallowness for men; whatever it is, may ironically, be the cost of doing business. Conversely, men are being judged as fathers in a way harder than ever before (708). Each party has hardships of its own, but it will revert back each individual's personality and the dynamic of the relationship. At the end of the day, there are no concrete answers to these endless issues so Dorment puts it best by saying, "we do the best we can"
The Cult of Domesticity is an offensive gesture; however in the 1950s’ there was validity this gesture. The rise of feminism has created a society in which there are more single mothers than ever before, long side more children born out of wedlock. The United States Census Bureau states, “During the 1960-2016 period, the percentage of children living with only their mother nearly tripled from 8 to 23 percent and the percentage of children…” (1). The article the Cult of Domesticity indeed points out the valid flaws of Ideal duties/expectations of domesticity in the 1950s’; however, I would like to state that anything man-made idea or material mechanism is not without faults. The agreeable points of the list were that there should be a genuine respect and act of service shown to our husbands each day. However, the list made a hard-left turn in suggesting that women are not to question the motives of their husband, and/or the location of their husbands if they chose to be late after work. Lastly, if husbands choose to
In contrast, men have been seen as more dominate than women because of their masculine abilities and other traits and most importantly their profound responsibility of being the provider and head of the household. Americans constantly uses theses two distinct stereotypes that in many cases present many biases regarding gender codes in America. Things have changed over time the women are no longer just house wives taking care of the house and children waiting for their husband to come home from his nine to five occupations. Andrea L. Miller explains in her article “The Separate Spheres Model of Gendered Inequality” that, “A common theme in the study of gender is the idea that men and women belong in distinct spheres of society, with men being particularly fit for the workplace and women being particularly fit for the domestic domain” (Miller 2). Miller gives two very specific examples on how gender is viewed in American
Ever since the women’s suffrage movement of the 1920s, there has been a push for eliminating sexism and providing equality between men and women, especially in the workplace. The United States, along with most of the world, has made great strides in gender equality since then. Women can vote, and have careers, and men are able to stay home with the children if they choose to. But are the sexes really equal now? There are three common answers to this question. Some say yes, while the most common answer is no. The debate does not end there, however. It is typically assumed gender inequality is oppressing women and limiting their rights. Regardless, there are those who say the system is harming men instead. So, if gender inequality still exists,
Who say’s women can’t have it all? But why? Well, as we take a look at the essay “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” Author Anne-Marie Slaughter believes that they can’t. You would think that with her claims of women not being able to have it all, she’s implying that men can. But in fact, she’s putting it all out on the table with her experiences, her prestigious career, and being an active role model to women.
Berk, S. (1985). The Gender Factory: The Apportionment of Work in American Households. Plenium Press, New York.
Stone (2007) conducted “extensive, in depth interviews with 54 women in a variety of professions-law, medicine, business, publishing, management consulting, nonprofit administration, and the like- living in major metropolitan areas across the country, half of them in their 30’s, half in their 40’s” (p. 15). Keep in mind these women Stone (2007) focuses on are “highly educated, affluent, mostly white, married women with children who had previously worked as professionals or managers whose husbands could support their being at home” (p. 14). Her findings revealed women are strongly influenced by two factors: workplace push and motherhood pull. “Many workplaces claimed to be “family friendly” and offered a variety of supports. But for women who could take advantage of them, flexible work schedules (which usually meant working part time) carried significant penalties” (Stone, 2007, p. 16). This quote represents the workplace push, where women are feeling encouraged to continue their rigorous careers with little to no family flexibility being offered from workplaces. The motherhood pull is a term used to describe the way mothers feel when they face the pressure of staying home to raise their children while still expected to maintain a steady job. “Motherhood influenced women 's decision to quit as they came to see the rhythms and
Throughout history, the roles of men and women in the home suggested that the husband would provide for his family, usually in a professional field, and be the head of his household, while the submissive wife remained at home. This wife’s only jobs included childcare, housekeeping, and placing dinner on the table in front of her family. The roles women and men played in earlier generations exemplify the way society limited men and women by placing them into gender specific molds; biology has never claimed that men were the sole survivors of American families, and that women were the only ones capable of making a pot roast. This depiction of the typical family has evolved. For example, in her observation of American families, author Judy Root Aulette noted that more families practice Egalitarian ideologies and are in favor of gender equality. “Women are more likely to participate in the workforce, while men are more likely to share in housework and childcare (apa…).” Today’s American families have broken the Ward and June Cleaver mold, and continue to become stronger and more sufficient. Single parent families currently become increasingly popular in America, with single men and women taking on the roles of both mother and father. This bend in the gender rules would have, previously, been unheard of, but in the evolution of gender in the family, it’s now socially acceptable, and very common.
Unfortunately the gendered division of labor has maintained its origins in the home, while copying its structure in the workplace. This can be seen inside families through the sharp distinctions between paid work and non work, paid and unpaid productivity, and even the separation of the private and public spheres where women are perceived as attached to the private and men to the public domains. (Grant & Porter 1994: 153) This is an important issue because while home and work may be physically separate...
With this in mind what would happen if the men stayed at home and the women were the ones at work? The news reporter Susan Spencer from the CBS news wrote an article called “As Gender Roles Change, Are Men Out Of Step?” stating that, "Overall I think that for women to contribute economically is a good thing for men," Mundy said. "It gives men within marriage more choices. They don't necessarily have to go into a career they are not interested in just to be the breadwinner, just to be the wage earner.
Today, in a vast majority of families, both the wife and husband have a job. Many working parents are under stress as they have to try to balance the demands of their work, children and relationship. Over the past 25 years, women's and men's roles have changed dramatically. In fact, the world of work and home are not separate, research indicates a profound impact on work and home life.
The roles women typically play in the family may not always be consistent with success in the occupational arena. Staying home to care for a sick child may conflict with an important meeting (Broman 1991:511). Sometimes there has to be a change of plans when it comes to the family. Most people believe that family comes first no matter what. Men 's engagement in paid work fulfills prescriptions of hegemonic masculinity by facilitating their ability to gain status in the public sphere. A man can judge his worth by the size of a paycheck (Thebaud 2010:335). Most research shows that women are more likely to be effected by the household and men are more likely to be effected by their job. Some people feel that the goal is to reach higher on the occupational