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Relationship Analysis Paper The relationship I chose to analyze for this project is my friendship with Amie. Our friendship has spanned over twenty years, making it my longest ongoing friendship. Together, we share many commonalities such as school, sense of humor, laid back personalities, and even our names; she is the one person I have come to rely on for emotional support throughout the years. Acquaintances of ours always joke that if one of us is doing something, the other was sure to follow. For instance, all six of our children were born within months of each other, we drive the same vehicles, laugh at the same jokes, and even our haircuts resemble each others. Our bond is effortless and has remained intact in view of the fact that we …show more content…
Amie’s listening style is primarily relational, while mine is often analytical. During these visits, I noticed that we use both passive and active listening. During one meeting, I noticed that she had numerous activities going on at her home. At the same time, I needed her undivided attention to vent about things weighing on my mind, but I noticed she seemed to be on autopilot; she could hear my words, but she was not taking the time to evaluate and process the information to formulate an appropriate response. This seems to be a common occurrence for us, as one of us usually tends to a child’s needs during our visits. Even with the extended pauses and choppy conversation, I was able to have a clear understanding of her messages by regularly asking clarifying questions; however, I noticed when the level of external noise is high, she has problems concentrating on sending and receiving messages. Our overall level of effective listening is high when we are mentally and physically free to attend without the constant …show more content…
Throughout our twenty years of friendship, there has been little to no conflict, until now. Recently, we have had various miscommunications and hurt feelings, one of which was a birthday party debacle. Lately, stress has consumed me, causing a low decrease in positivity about life. I envisioned my friend arranging a birthday celebration for me after the numerous chats between us about how great that would be; ultimately, I found out that she was planning to throw another friend a party on my birthday. Heartbroken would be the best word to describe how I felt. When we spoke on the 21st of September, her approach to the conflict was withdrawing altogether; this created a sense of resentment for me, and in turn, I too began to withdraw. She pretended as though nothing was wrong and avoided the topic. This left me with a sense that I was insignificant to her and affected my self-image, otherwise known as face. She exhibited self-face orientation by repeatedly putting the blame on another friend to uphold her image. As time went on, she began to initiate conversation about the conflict in a more accommodating conflict management style, while I began to lean towards a more collaborating style. For the first time, we were faced with conflict without the knowledge of how to appropriately manage it. Together, we came to a solution that
Friendship is the greatest gift in the world between two people. It is a bond in which two people accept each other for whatever they are, positives and negatives. In the novel, ‘Don’t Call me Ishmael’, by Michael Bauer, the power of friendship is shown with James Scobie and Ishmael Leseur. Ishma5el is a 14-year-old new boy at Saint Daniel’s Boys College. Ishmael has low self-esteem, which leads to him calling himself “the mayor of loserville.” (2006, p.4). Ishmael’s problems include a school bully called Barry Bagsley, who delights in mashing his name and generally making his life horrible. Barry mashes Ishmael's name into weird things like, ‘Fishtail Le-sewer’ (2006, p.19) instead of his real name Ishmael Leseur However, one new arrival
I've gone back and reassessed my current relationships, whether it's with my family,friends, or a significant other and learned a whole lot about my own relationships. During other parts of this project I really got to delve deeper into different relationship dynamics for various other people, like when I interviewed my mother and Mrs. Davenport, or reading various other texts and connecting them to mine like the relationship Stanley and Stella had in streetcar named desire or the family bonds from the deck reading and how they apply to my own family. Everyone relationships and bonds to others is different and no one had the same connection to each other, but throughout time it's noticeable that the relationships we have been more alike than we think.
The most supportive of friends are manifest during life’s toughest of obstacles. They are the ones that help us power through the storm. Karen Karbo claims, “Most of us would prefer to think that we love our friends because of who they are, not because of the ways in which they support who we are. It sounds vaguely narcissistic, and yet the studies bear it out.”(156) while Yvette and I stated off as simple associates, she was soon to be reviled as my most supportive friend. She was just another co-worker. However, after our bosses went through a divorce, our most dependable co-worker moved, and another reunited with her drug habit, Yvette was the only one I could depend on. Together we became an unbreakable team. We could run the front office without any flaws. Since our friendship was growing we became even more supportive of each other, if one was slacking the other would step up and make sure the task was completed. We would switch off on answering the phones and taking on a challenging customer. Occasionally we would go out for a drink to destress from work. We had just started taking our girls out on play dates, and hanging out on weekends. One night my mom called me to let me know she had made other plans for the following night and I needed to figure out another arrangement for my daughter. Most nights I depend on my mom to watch my daughter so I can go to class, and when she is unable my sister will step in. In
A friendship relies on the goodness of both people; if goodness is not present the friendship will cease to exist. Cicero uses many different instances in his book Laelius: On Friendship to explain how a friendship relies on the goodness of both people to survive. First he starts by talking about the types of friendships that come to an end when goodness ceases to exist. He explains that some friendships rely on advantages, but these friendships never last. He states that “if advantages were what kept friendships together, the removal of that advantage would mean that the friendship itself would cease to exist” (194). A friendship should rely on the qualities of both people, and not on the advantages you get from them. Cicero explains that “when a man shows kindness and generosity, his motive in doing so is not just too exact repayment” (193). Next he talks about friendships that fail due to one person asking too much of the other. He brings in the example of Tiberius Gracchus, “As for Tiberius Gracchus, when he was disrupting the government, we saw how Quintus
In Managing Social Service Staff for Excellence, Nancy Summers (2010) provides a list of “The Differences between a Professional Relationship and a Friendship” (p. 192). The very first item on the list states that a professional relationship puts the client first; whereas in a friendship, “each friend gives the support to the other” (p. 192). Hepworth, et al. (2013) also supports this by stating that professional boundaries intend to make “the client’s interest the primary focus” (p. 71). From my perspective, this is the main difference between a professional and personal relationship. As my field instructor has pointed out, in a professional relationship, it’s about the client’s needs. As social workers, we should not try to get anything
Karen Horney “Distrust between sexes” proceeds go into the different aspects of Love and Relationships. In this book Horney gives examples on how women deal with emotions which transitions from childhood to adult life. The fundamentals of documentation are displayed in unavoidable ways in most occurrences people run into. People are blind to the fact that love in relationships can be destroyed by overt or covert? In some cases lack of sympathy is then blamed, when relationships don’t work out between two individuals. Some couples fall into social, economic defaults which impacts the relationships. These are issues people never stop to think about, all they want to do is shift the blame to one another in a relationship. Self-preservation is a basic instinct for everyone and is present at birth. This can enhance the natural fear of losing ourselves in a relationship (Horney 1930). In Horney discussions I found that a person only feels despair because of the deep emotions of abundant from “Love” during childhood. That can develop more mixed emotions that turn into mistrust, which causes delusions that tell them they are not getting love from their partner (Horney 1930). With these types of feelings mistrust sips into relationships, starting from a child carries over into adult life. Reasons are when a child comes into the world learns everything it needs to know from its parent. If the child’s emotional needs are not taken care of when the family increases, the child will feel a need to compete for affection from the parents, which could turn into a painful situation. With this being said the child grows into an adult with suppressed aggression. If he/she has not learned how to deal with...
Archenemies and best friends play a role in every person’s day to day life. Archenemies venture around everyone’s schedule just as much as best friends encompass everyday lives. If each party would learn to set their differences aside, the world would be a much more ideal place. Archenemies love just as best friends do; best friends hate just as much as archenemies do. Though both terms sound only contrasting towards one another, people do not take the time to consider how similar individuals are due to the fact that everyone disregards the ideas of company, trust, and similar relationships.
I was joined by an old friend and she was my whole world. She became my best friend, but recently she wasn't being very nice. She ignored me a lot and interrupted me when I was talking to another friend. I didn't know what was going on at home with her and maybe I wasn't being the nicest, but I did know that I was upset. However this was one of those things that is only for a couple of weeks. We got out of our funk and everything is fine between us
.... Through the evaluation of reactions from both myself and others, I have realized the significant impact the misuse of a particular listening style may have. These effects reach beyond social and professional environments, and in some cases may produce unintended negative effects with family. I had not realized that the two listening styles I use most commonly could be so incredibly polarized when it comes to employing critical listening. As a result, I have devised appropriate steps which I feel will assist in creating a more balanced conversational environment and improve my overall effectiveness in communication. I was surprised to discover that my listening styles are not always conducive to the environment in which I am listening; however, I am consequently compelled to take the steps necessary to achieve higher-quality communication in every aspect of life.
Listening is the process of selecting, attending to, creating meaning from, remembering and responding to verbal and nonverbal messages. I tend to not listen well when I’m angry or tired, and also when my mom tells me something she’s already told me before. I think sometimes I don’t listen to my mom because I experience listener burnout which means being weary of listening to other people. I believe I experience this because she has already told me something several times and I grow weary of hearing the same thing over and over. This affects me because my mom is my elder and I should listen to her because she is older and has obtained more knowledge about situations and events than I have. Also, I need to listen to her more because she is not going to tell me anything that would hurt me. My plan to alter my listening skills is to use the three steps presented in Chapter 5, stop, look, and listen. To stop I should not attend to off- topic self-talk by putting my own thoughts aside and make a mindful effort to listen; second I should look by examining nonverbal cues of those involved in the communication; I also need to accurately interpret nonverbal messages to help note what someone is saying verbally and nonverbally. I can also interpret nonverbal messages to receive the Meta message which is a message about a message. Finally, I should listen, and not only
As The Gift of Listening describes, “Opening one’s heart and listening at a deep level does not come easily and is rarely achieved simply by life experience” (Browning & Waite, 2010, p. 151) There are different aspects to being a good listener that are often difficult to achieve and lead to poor listening. One significant challenge to listening is the attention needed in order to actively listen to another person. Proper listening does not occur due to a passive process but instead it takes deliberate action and thought towards what a person in saying. Like previously stated, actively listening is achieved by sitting in a comfortable and open way and maintaining good eye contact. When a person does not exhibit these techniques good listening often does not occur. The challenge of utilizing different techniques in order to listen to others in a better way often gets blocked by barriers that make active listening unable to occur. In our society today one major barrier to listening is technology. In a casual setting, proper listening often doesn’t occur due to someone being tied to their cell phone. The millennial generation is often guilty of passively listening to others due to the mobile technology that is being used today. Many conversations occur without eye contact or full focus on what the other has to say and instead is spent staring at a
Those not thoroughly educated in communication tend to confuse the terms “hearing” and “listening.” Although they appear to mean the same thing, utilize the same body part, and are both required for functional communication, there is a great difference between these two actions. Hearing involves the perception of sound using the ears, while listening is based upon giving attention to the sound being perceived. Additionally, because these concepts are different, there are also several different ways of improving hearing and listening. Thus, there are several differences between these two concepts, and it is important to signify these differences in order to practice effective communication.
“Hearing is the sensory ability to receive sound” (Walker, R., 2015) and requires no effort while listening is a complex cognitive, affective, and behavioral process (Edwards, R., 2011). Thompson, Leintz, Nevers, and Witkowski define effective listening as the “dynamic, interactive process of integrating appropriate listening attitudes, knowledge, and behaviours to achieve the selected goals of a listening event” (Thompson, K., Leintz, P., Nevers, B. &Witkowski, S., 2004). Effective listening is more than just a cognitive practice, to be an effective listener one must “hear” what the listener is saying but also comprehend the message being conveyed. This can be achieved by practicing three frames of listening. Cognitive listening centers on how words and phrases are “comprehended, understood, interpreted, evaluated, remembered, and recalled” (Burleson, B.R., 2011). Affective listening is the focus of attention, and displays of acceptance and empathy toward the speaker. Behavioral listening characteristics show engagement through non-verbal cues like eye contact and nodding, along with verbal cues like inquiries or advice. Effective listening should not be taken for granted; there are several advantages to understanding and practicing effective listening. When you become a better listener you build stronger interpersonal relationships, you are perceived as having greater intelligence, and improved listening skill establish stronger overall communication skills. These are valuable benefits for me both personally and
Throughout most of my life I have gained friendships and relationships with others that have turned into long term, but others which only lasted a short while. The friendship that has greatly impacted my life significantly over the last eight years is someone who means so much to me. This meaningful friendship all started back when I was in middle school, which has grown stronger over the years. I met Brooke in middle school because we had some of the same classes and were in homeroom together. Our friendship developed quickly and lasted throughout our high school years. We became really close our Junior and Senior year of high school. But, maintaining our friendship hasn’t always been so easy. Today, we text and call each other on our free time, but I know I can count and rely on her when I need someone to talk too. I call her my second sister and vice versa. And when we go home on breaks we see one another as much as we can. The best part of our relationship is that if one is in need of advice or in need of a shoulder to cry on, we are always there for one another. Keeping in contact is very important in our relationship and communication has played a key role in our relationship.
“Relationships are what make up our world today, they shape the ways we see things and the way that we do things, relationships affect how we see the world today”. I believe supporting what your partner does, having a great sum of trust and showing your affections towards your partner is what will make a healthy relationship great.