Rejection is inevitable. It happens to all of us at some point in our lives. When we get rejected we can’t help but stop and ask ourselves some questions. The first question we usually ask is ”Why?” Then come the thoughts that we rehearse over and over again. We replay that moment of rejection, wishing we’d asked more questions or said less in response. Often we wonder for weeks, “What did I do wrong?” Sometimes we think, “What can I do to get them to accept me again?”
When we are rejected we tend to do one of three things: reject the person who rejected us, reject others we think are like the person who rejected us, or reject ourselves.
Rejection engages our emotions to respond in hurt and carry offense.
Our thoughts about rejection determine what we believe and ultimately what we do in response to the hurt. But it all starts in the mind. When we rehearse what the other person did to reject us, then we have begun the process of solidifying a belief into an offense. This is what so many tragic shootings stem from — hatred develops after obsessive thinking becomes justification for an offense to punish others for their actions.
When rejection is from a family member or someone we are in a serious relationship with, it’s hard to move on right away. The level of pain is often tied to the level of commitment. If we have been deeply invested, it is hard to move forward without looking back. In fact, it’s such an intense experience that the brain feels emotional pain the same as physical pain. (Psychology Today)
Thinking differently engages the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
God gives us the key to overcoming negative thoughts in response to rejection: prayer. Philippians 4:7 says when we pray, we will experience “... the pe...
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...he enemy lose his hold. Your pain will leave, and the enemy will be defeated by your love!
Overcoming rejection can be a shorter process than it has been in the past. You can have the life you were meant to live by getting rid of the thoughts that keep you bound to the lies of the enemy, and stepping into freedom to think like Christ. Your emotions will follow suit, and you will have the joy of the Lord deep in your soul.
Jill Monaco is the Founder of Jill Monaco Ministries, a non-profit organization committed to loving people the way Jesus loves. She is a popular speaker, blogger and the publisher and editor-in-chief of SingleMatters.com She has a passion to inspire others to have an intimate relationship with God. Jill has been featured on “LIFE Today” with James and Betty Robison and spoken to audiences of thousands. Learn more about Jill at www.jillmonaco.com.
When taking in new information it is natural to rationalize every behavior, event or phenomenon, in order to understand that new knowledge. We want a clear, logical and reasonable explanation of why we behave like this, or think like that. However, in order to reach the goal of understanding, sometimes we make up reasons to excuse, and claim that it is the truth. In “Immune to Reality,” Daniel Gilbert believes that when we face negative situations, especially extreme negatives, we naturally build up a “psychological immune system” to protect ourselves. This system automatically organizes, then reasons in order to explain the negatives and comfort our ill feelings. This type of self-deception helps us to emotionally survive the negativity; it
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The Rejected stalker is the one who is rejected from a romantic or close friendship. When they feel that the relationship is no longer there, stalker may want to be in a relationship with the survivor again or may seek revenge. The personality characteristics associated with this stalker type are narcissism
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“Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection,”Henry J.M Houwen once stated. In the graphic novel American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang, Jin Wang and the monkey king experiences rejection as they interact with society. In the short story Linh Lai by Rebecca Rosenblum, Linh Lai helplessly suffers rejection as she struggles to meet her uncle and Mr. Koenburg’s expectations. In the short story Tapka by David Bezomozgis, people are rejected because of their differences. Rejection by society exists in Tapka and Linh Lai, whereas American Born Chinese incorporates both rejections by themselves and by society. Stories show that people are rejected by society, people in positions of power, or themselves when they are different from the majority.
The desire for positive social relationships is one of the most fundamental and universal human needs. This need has a deep root in evolutionary history in relation to mating and natural selection and this can exert a powerful impact on contemporary human psychological processes (Baumeister & Leary 1995). Failure to satisfy these needs can bear devastating consequences on the psychological well being of an individual. These needs might not be satisfied as rejection, isolation, and ostracism occurs on a daily basis to people. Although being ignored and excluded is a pervasive circumstance present throughout history across species, and humans of all ages and cultures i.e the use of Ostracism (the feeling of isolation and exclusion) has been observed in modern cultures (Woods 1978) Schools and academic institutions (Heron 1987) and interpersonal relationships (Williams 2000). Although ostracism can be seen as a social norm the effect this can have on an individual has the potential of being detrimental to individuals including extreme feelings of hurt. Individuals can respond to rejection in different ways ranging from psychologically to behaviourally. Both psychological and behavioural responses to interpersonal rejection posit theories based on the various paradigms used to stimulate ostracism in experimental settings resulting in s the creation of models by the likes of Williams (2007) and Leary (2009).
Overall, the real question in the end after reflection, inquiry, and acknowledgement is whether I, or any other, can choose to trust in God. Will we choose to rise above our insecurities and habits, and do what promotes justice? Will we have the “courage to be” during this difficult realization, and the courage to choose God over ourselves? If, and when we do, we will realize the only thing more important than our insecurities are the people God tells us to call our brothers, and sisters in our greater community.
Being accepted is an human tendency and we crave each other 's approval. In the scholarly article,"Being Accepted For Who We Are: Evidence That Social Validation Of The Intrinsic Self Reduces General Defensiveness", Schimel associates human’s low self-esteem with being rejected by society. The feeling of rejection leads to depression, and then ultimately suicide (36). Rejection is never taken lightly especially when it deals with something we have no control of. Even then, people are constantly pointing out each other’s differences making them feel self-conscious and wanting to change who they are. Race is not something we can change with medicine, surgery, or other remedies; we are born into our race it defines us. Learning to accept other can save a life and bring society closer to ending the feeling of
the feeling of loss, hate and envy. As Alfred, Lord Tennyson said, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. He states that love is worth the pain that the feel...
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