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How grief changes your life essay
How grief changes your life essay
Grief case study
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As I view my loss line diagram, I can see that I have faced many challenges throughout my life. These losses I experienced made me realize that I had no control over them. My childhood losses taught me that I can control how I react to them. I have carried this lesson with me on my journey into adulthood. The purpose of this paper is to demonstrate how my loss line has impacted the person I am today, how the losses still affects my life, and how my experience will affect my work with grief clients. In reflecting on these aspects will show that I have healed and matured enough to assist the bereaved. The person I am today is shaped by the losses which I have experienced thus far. There were a few losses in my loss line that made me change my behaviours and identity. I wanted to control my reactions to loss by controlling my emotions and behaviour. …show more content…
However, the way that I handled my loss experience can be useful to clients experiencing loss. Acceptance of the loss and my emotions was the most difficult part of my experience. Yet, it helped me to move forward in life and release the weight off my shoulders. Accepting my emotions allowed me to grieve without feeling restricted by other people’s reactions and judgements. When I was younger, I handled my grief on my own and isolated myself from others. I learnt that this is not a healthy way to grieve. Reaching out for support and help is what I would recommend to a client. My loss experience was also a great teaching tool. For instance, working at the distress centre, I am able to empathize with callers going through a break up. I feel I can identify with their feelings. Most of my callers feels understood and enjoy exploring options with me. Likewise, I would encourage my clients to view their loss experience as a positive way to guide other grieving individuals. Similar to peer support, they can explore options, empathize, and listen to others grief
I have had the privilege to walk alongside many people on their grief journeys. Throughout my thirty years of assisting others, I have developed a model of grief processing I call the Berafian Model. This model allows me an opportunity to work with various ages as well as cultural backgrounds.
Loss and How We Cope We all deal with death in our lives, and that is why Michael Lassell’s “How to Watch Your Brother Die” resonates with so many readers. It confronts the struggles of dealing with death. Lassell writes the piece like a field guide, an instruction set for dealing with death, but the piece is much more complex than its surface appearance. It touches on ideas of acceptance, regret, and misunderstanding, to name a few. While many of us can identify with this story, I feel like the story I brought into the text has had a much deeper and profound impact.
When it comes to required academic reading, I can be a rather fussy reviewer. After all, I don’t get to choose the books that I read – they’re required. However, Life after Loss is a purposeful and very well thought-out book. Author Bob Deits paints a picture of grief in a very honest, if not blunt, manner that seldom repeats itself. The anecdotes used (even if he used the annoying tactic of making them up) were engaging and inspiring. Each chapter was concise, uncluttered, and easy to read, and bullet points were used sparingly and to good effect. In this soup to nuts introduction to the grief process, the physical, emotional, and relationship elements of this difficult topic were presented in a strength based and compassionate way.
Jerry Sittser’s book not only brings readers into loss with all its real emotions and pain but it also highlights truths that can be applied to anyone’s life. Sittser’s faith is evident throughout the book and his struggle of finding his faith within his loss and sorrow is encouraging to many. In the end, through his loss, he finds God again and through the writing of his book is now able to offer many insights on the Christian perspectives of sorrow, loss, forgiveness and how mental illness affects families. Sittser inspires readers because they have witnessed that they can too grow and continue living life despite their loss and without forgetting their loss.
Upon receiving the news that a loved one had died, those left to mourn, called survivors, often find themselves entangled in a complex web of emotions and reactions. The death of a loved one can be a frightening, overwhelming, and painful experience and the physical, psychological, and social effects of loss are articulated through the practice of grief. Grief has been known to be experienced in five stages called the Five Stages of Grief where each phase of the grieving process will go from initial denial to the slow healing of acceptance. However, the devastating aftermath of a loss of a loved one, coupled with the suffering experienced through the five stages of grief can cause the survivor to commit suicide themselves.
When death has taken someone from your life, you think of everything you said to them, your last words, memories, and the talks that happened. During this assignment, one will see the grieving process from me about a tenant that I took care of, and the impact this lady’s passing away, left me. Polan and Taylor (2015) says “Loss challenges the person’s priorities and importance of relationships.” (pg 226) When an individual loses someone that you see everyday and take care of, this effects you because, you build a relationship and get to know each other on a personal level. When my tenant was passing away it was painful. I didn’t know what to feel when I seen what was happening and knew what was taking place.
Overcoming the grief that is felt after losing a loved one is a physically and mentally agonizing task. According to Dr. Christina Hibbert, a clinical psychologist who graduated from the California School of Professional Psychology, three main stages of grief include anger, depression and acceptance. Each one of these emotions can be seen in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet and The Descendants (2011, Payne) as the artists explore the effects of grief and the different emotional responses that one can have due to the loss of a loved one. Additionally, in Ismail Kadare’s Broken April, the Berisha family feels the sufferance that is associated with unexpected death, as well as the various temperamental reactions that one will have after losing a loved one. Each of these works of art represent a powerful example of the stages that one will go through after feeling the intense sorrow that is connected with death, as well as the unavoidable effects of grief.
The grief therapist also has to identify the grieving style of the bereaved individual. There are two types of grieving styles a client can display intuitive and instrumental. Intuitive grievers communicate their feelings and want to share their grief experience with others (Winokuer & Harris, 2012, p. 88). In contrast, Instrumental grievers portray their grief cognitively and behaviorally via thoughts, self-reflection, and actions (Winokuer & Harris, 2012, p. 88). In Knowing the type of grief style the client shows can help the therapist decide what task or activities a client would benefit from. For instance, instrumental grievers may benefit from exercises such as journaling or writing letters to and from the deceased (narrative therapy).
Grieving is the outward expression of your loss. Every individual grief is likely to be expressed physically, emotionally, and psychologically. For instance, crying is a physical expression, while depression is a psychological expression. It is very important to allow the client to express these feelings. Often, death is a subject that is avoided, ignored or denied. At first it may be helpful
Individually, everyone has their own methods of dealing with situations and emotions regardless of any positive or negative connotation affixed to them. One prime example of this comes with grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying” suggests that there are five stages of mourning and grief that are universal and, at one point or another, experienced by people from all walks of life. These stages, in no particular order, are as follows: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. Each individual person works through these stages in different orders for varying levels of time and intensity, but most if not all are necessary to “move on.” In order for positive change to occur following a loss, one must come to terms with not only the event but also themselves.
One summer I awoke to the chirping of my cell phone. I was really confused because I had a bunch of notifications. On a normal day I usually only have a couple. When I checked to see what they were, I discovered that they were all concerning my best friend. They all said “I’m so sorry for what happened.” I got really confused and stumbled down the stairs to talk to my mom. When I saw her, she had tears running down her face and she said “He’s gone.” My emotions hit me like a runaway train and I immediately went into a depression. The grieving process had just started and it was awful. Eventually, I knew it was necessary in order to heal. Grief marks our memories with sadness and pain; however, this way of coping is the essential key to moving on with our lives.
Going through life means experiencing great happiness but also great loss. Every loss we face may hurt and cause us grief, but we must let life take its course and endure the pain, for we cannot know true happiness without knowing true sorrow. Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” discusses the hardships that come with pain and loss and gives insight about how a person can overcome that pain. Even the pain might hurt a great deal right now, the wound will only heal if we allow ourselves to feel that pain. As famous poet Lao Tsu once said, “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
It is common for those experiencing grief to deny the death altogether. Many people do this by avoiding situations and places that remind them of the deceased (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). However, by simply avoiding the topic of death and pain, the mourner only achieves temporary relief while in turn creating more permanent lasting agony (Rich, 2005). In this stage, mourners will begin to feel the full weight of the circumstance. Whether the death of a loved one was sudden or long-term, survivors will feel a full range of emotions, such as sadness, guilt, anger, frustration, hopelessness, or grief. While many of these emotions can cause serious suffering, it is important for the survivor to feel whatever emotions come up and deal with those feelings, rather than trying to suppress any
Leming, M., & Dickinson, G. (2011). Understanding dying, death, & bereavement. (7th ed., pp. 471-4). Belmont, California: Wadsworth.
People cope with the loss of a loved one in many ways. For some, the experience may lead to personal growth, even though it is a difficult and trying time. There is no right way of coping with death. The way a person grieves depends on the personality of that person and the relationship with the person who has died. How a person copes with grief is affected by the person's cultural and religious background, coping skills, mental history, support systems, and the person's social and financial status.