Radical Feminist Tropes Debunked

There is a fine line between BDSM and Abuse. BDSM is consensual, it requires respect and trust, and is meant to be sexually arousing. While an abuser has no respect for another’s feelings and inflicts pain. Liberal Feminist Tropes Debunked is a blog written by a radical feminist who does not reveal her name. She discusses a variety of topics including gay rights, abortion, and BDSM. She has said that radical feminists believe that BDSM is degrading to women and is a part of the rape and abuse culture. Radical feminists oppose anti-egalitarian human interaction. Fundamentally the difference between abuse and BDSM is that abuse is out of terror, rage, hate, and psychological torment. While BDSM is meant to be for fun, joy, love, and connection.

The term BDSM was created in 1969.

BDSM includes bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism & masochism (S&M).( "BDSM n. (in entry B, n.)". Oxford English Dictionary Online (draft ed.). Oxford University Press. June 2013.) Bondage is consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic stimulation. Materials such as rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or other restraints may be used for this purpose. Dominance and submission is a set of roles where the dominant has the power and the submissive is willingly giving themselves to their partner. Physical contact is not a necessity, and D/S can even be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email, or other messaging systems. In other cases, it can be intensely physical, sometimes crossing into sadomasochism. Both parties take pleasure or erotic enjoyment from either dominating or being dominated. Sadomasochism is the giving or receiving of pleasure from acts involving the receipt or infliction of pain or humiliation. Practitioners of sadomasochism may seek sexual gratification from their acts. ("Definition of SADOMASOCHISM." Sadomasochism. Merriam-Webster. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.) “Recent archaeological evidence suggests that dominance and submissiveness as sexual practice dates back at least 5000 years ago” ("BDSM Culture Throughout History and To The Present (Maybe NSFW)." Observation Deck. 2 Dec. 2015. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.). With the release of the book Fifty Shades of Grey in 2011 and the recent

release of the movie Fifty Shades of Grey in February of 2015 has put a ton of attention to the BDSM culture.
In BDSM there is a pre-negotiation period.

The submissive and the dominant discuss what they are willing to do, what they like, and what they are absolutely uncomfortable with. Discussing each other’s boundaries builds emotional support and can also be a form of foreplay. There is a saying in the BDSM community; safe, sane, and consensual. Safe is being knowledgeable. Knowledgeable about the techniques and safety and acting with that knowledge. This includes protection against sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, and psychological safety. The BDSM community teaches people the proper way to use the equipment. There are books to help people practice safe BDSM. SM 101 by Jay Wiseman, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon, and The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton. Sane is knowing the difference between fantasy and reality. Having a clear mind. Consensual is respecting each partner’s limits. A way to keep each other feel comfortable is a safe word. A safe word is a word that has been decided before four play and sex by the participants to let one another know when one of them has reached their limits. BDSM must be consensual. ("BDSM vs. Abuse." BDSM vs. Abuse. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.) The blogger said that BDSM is not always completely consensual. Which is sadly true sometimes. Sometimes people are pressured into sexual activities by their partner. She does realize that people do consent to being sexually

submissive but does not find it morally acceptable. “By rejecting the BDSM community’s consent argument, I am not being biased against sex.” ("Liberal Feminist Tropes Debunked." : The Five Most Common Pro-BDSM Arguments. 10 Feb. 2015. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.)
To have a healthy BDSM relationship there needs to be trust and respect. It takes a lot of trust to offer your submission to someone and you trust that their partner will not abuse that trust. People outside of that BDSM relationship might think that the roles are not equal when that is not the case. Both the dominate and submissive depend on each other equally. When a BDSM relationship turns abusive mainly due to the lack of trust or lack of respect for that trust. Some people have sex without out any emotion or conversation, but in BDSM there is always communication which creates a special bond. The main thing is your ability to have your needs heard, respected, should never be questioned. The blogger says “the idea that people in BDSM relationships love each other sounds sweet, until you remember that those who make this argument are attempting to justify brutal and often physically dangerous acts of aggression.” ("Liberal Feminist Tropes Debunked." : The Five Most Common Pro-BDSM Arguments. 10 Feb. 2015. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.) Personally I have tried bondage (I am not in a D/S relationship) with my boyfriend of nine years and never have I once felt abused or felt that my body or health was in danger. The idea is that a submissive must really love and trust their dominant. The blogger argues, is that really the kind of “love and trust” we want to promote? “It is important for feminists and other progressives to encourage discussion about what love is and is not. Healthy, egalitarian love should be promoted in place of blind infatuation.” ("Liberal Feminist Tropes Debunked." : The Five Most Common Pro-BDSM Arguments. 10 Feb. 2015. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.)
Not everyone is turned on by regular sex such as missionary (boy on top) and cowgirl (girl on top). The BDSM community call this vanilla sex and they just find it unfulfilling. Most people try BDSM because they want to explore themselves sexually and want something more intimate and intense. According to Michael Castleman two to three percent of American adults practice BDSM. That’s around five million people. Around 20 percent of adults have confessed some arousal from BDSM images or stories. (Castleman, Michael. "A Loving Introduction to BDSM." Psychology Today. 15 June 2012. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.) BDSM is not all about sex or even physical. Just the thought of giving up control, having power, being taken care of, or taking care of another can be mentally arousing. Mistress Hudsy Hawn is a professional BDSM dominate. Professional BDSM participants never have sex. In he buzzfeed video The Try Guys Try ‘Fifty Shades’ Style BDSM, Mistress Hudsy Hawn describes why they use certain toys and equipment, “the feather activates the skin and gives your body a tickle sensation.”… “The blindfold heightens the other senses making the sensation more intense when something touches you.”… “Handcuffs make you let go and feel free and just let someone else take over.” ( "The Try Guys Try 'Fifty Shades' Style BDSM." YouTube. YouTube, 25 Jan. 2015. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.) The bloggers believes that some people are sexually aroused by their partner’s dominance but that some of those people are lying. However, she does say that its hard to tell whether their partner is sexually aroused because women often fake their orgasm just to satisfy their partner. Women often do this in vanilla sex not just in BDSM. “I believe that we should aim for a world in which humans treat one another like equals. Relations marked by inequalities in power (i.e. those that involve dominance and submission) should be avoided whenever possible” ("Liberal Feminist Tropes Debunked." : The Five Most Common Pro-BDSM Arguments. 10 Feb. 2015. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.) I do agree that humans do need to be treated equal no matter your race, gender, or sexuality. However, people who practice BDSM chose their roles. They do not think of themselves as less or higher than their partner.